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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Aibu to hit the roof with my husband

119 replies

Antonia87 · 22/06/2018 13:20

My husband has accidently given my toddler son a carpet burn. He rough plays with him which I think is healthy and good for their bond. However, he has taken to playing a game which involves my son being dragged by his leg across the rug. The baby squeals with delight which encourages my husband. I have warned him not to do it as it looks unsafe . Husband didn't listen. This morning he tried it on the carpet and my sons t-shirt rode up and he now has a carpet burn. I am livid! I informed my husband of his stupidity and he has brushed it off as not a big deal but promises not to do it again on the carpet. I have told him that the game is never to happen again. He is fighting me on it. AIBU?

OP posts:

Mangoo · 22/06/2018 18:43

Sorry that was meant to say *then he'd swing my round in it.

littlerocketman · 22/06/2018 18:47

My DH has done this and quite rightly been mortified and concerned partly because he had been warned of the risk. He should certainly be shame faced and apologetic - and accepting you were right!

Rocinante1 · 22/06/2018 19:15

Dress him in dungarees and let them play for goodness sake. Honestly, kids like that stuff, your husband is engaging with his child and they are having fun. Then you come along throwing a tantrum.

Eatmycheese · 22/06/2018 22:50

I don’t think YABU
You can have fun and play with your kids without giving them carpet burns.

cheval · 23/06/2018 17:53

Used to do the sleeping bag thing with my brothers, dragging each other around. Then did it with the poor dog. Sorry dog, but it was the bad old 70s and I was very young. She put up with it amazingly stoically

manicmij · 23/06/2018 19:13

Game on the carpet, no, in view of carpet burn risk. Game in general on safe surface, yes. Did this with one in a sandpit, loved it. Child, not me that is.
DH probably didn't realise he was pulling so fast. Lesson learned I'd say.Child will recover.

MrsClutterworth · 23/06/2018 21:42

I don't think you're BU to be annoyed. The exact same thing happened with my dh and ds and I was so upset. I know he didn't mean it though. It's terrible you need to worry about silly little accidents that were in no way meant! Me and my mum were actually talking about this the other day when I told her what happened with ds funnily enough. When I was little she got dragged into my primary school because I had carpet burn which my cousin had given me during one of her many attempts to kill me at our grans house😂 just forget it, it's just one of these things you learn from. Tell him to only do it on a mat/laminate flooring lol.

Icapturethecast1e · 23/06/2018 22:06

Well it's not like he let him roll down the massive hill in the park onto the path of bikes, dogs & pedestrians. Now that's what you call dangerous fun. Even went down on a bike once. Didn't end on a good note. Ok maybe he can be a bit more careful in the future but what's done is done.

Putyourdamnshoeson · 24/06/2018 22:10

It is dangerous. A burn is a burn. It can lead to dislocations and breaks. There is NO need to play this roughly with any child, esp 18 month old.

But then, I drew blood from my then 2 year old DS by biting him with a salmon in Morrison's, so I'm a hypocrite who should be ignored.

Oh. And I have NOT been allowed to forget it.

kiwipie · 24/06/2018 22:14

YOUR toddler? Pretty sure he's also your DH. get over yourself

Mydogmylife · 24/06/2018 22:28

Kiwi pie - what you said!

Troels · 24/06/2018 22:38

OMG I loved this when I was a little kid, my Dad would pin me wrestling style and I would laugh so hard I had tears.
I used to wrestle with my boys too, then when they got to about 12 and passed me up they stopped as they didn't want to hurt me and I was pretty rubbish at it
Dh used to roll his eyes at us and leave us too it. There have been red marks and bumped heads over the years, all accidental, no harm done.

Motoko · 25/06/2018 01:11

A cot mattress is brilliant for going down the stairs.

Just saying.

mathanxiety · 25/06/2018 01:45

I have quite a catalogue of injuries and near misses among family and extended family.

DD4 fell down the stairs twice in the same day, a few weeks after she learned to walk and a week after she learned to climb over the stair gate. ER said she was ok, lectured about stair gates...
DS, aged 2, poked a little staple into an electrical outlet and burned his thumb; he described fire shooting out of the outlet when I tried to scrub what I thought was black marker off his hand. It was actually a scorch mark and there was one on the wall too. Took him to the doctor, they listened to his heart for a while and said he was ok, lectured me about exposed outlets (the one he had been playing with was under his bed), then discovered he was behind in his vaccination schedule, gave him a shot - not a great day...
DD1, DS, and DD2 put DD4, aged 3, on an old cot mattress and jumped off the dining room table onto it, to see how far they could make DD4 fly. Answer - as far as the sideboard, nose first.
(Same cot mattress was used for endless fun on the stairs..)

SoupDragon · 25/06/2018 07:44

I drew blood from my then 2 year old DS by biting him with a salmon in Morrison's

You can’t just leave the story at that!

YorkieDorkie · 25/06/2018 07:56

You'll have worse incidents OP. And yes, YOU might put a foot wrong somewhere.

Try to avoid the "mama bear" thing remember your DH is equally a parent and equally has the right to say what should and shouldn't happen with your DC.

WakeUpMaggie · 25/06/2018 08:00

Is MN the go to place for fuming, over reacting drama llamas? I swear I live in a parallel universe to most on MN.

Leapfrog44 · 25/06/2018 09:45

Don't worry he's learned his lesson. You're RIGHT this is valuable play but he also needs to learn boundaries and inevitably mistakes will happen.

Kids also get hurt when play fighting and it's a normal part of life. You don't want to raise a namby pamby child who bawls at the slightest bump. They're awful.

Totally let it go and be grateful for your energetic, playful husband.

justsmellingthecoffee · 25/06/2018 20:53

Maybe there's more to this? This is a bit rough play for an 18-month old. Maybe the squeals of delight are those borderline squeals of delight/terror. Perhaps this is not your DH's son? Just guessing. And I guess those who are remembering loving this sort of play were quite a lot older than 18 months. Maybe it's a first child so you're a bit worried anyway and DH (sounds a bit like a child himself) not nearly worried enough. And yes, my DC injured themselves on many occasions but we did try to learn from it. DD still has a carpet burn scar some years later from sliding down the stairs, and it was nasty enough then even though it didn't break the skin. Why don't both of you take a baby first aid course just for reassurance? Yes, your reaction was a bit U but so is his.

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