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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Aibu to hit the roof with my husband

119 replies

Antonia87 · 22/06/2018 13:20

My husband has accidently given my toddler son a carpet burn. He rough plays with him which I think is healthy and good for their bond. However, he has taken to playing a game which involves my son being dragged by his leg across the rug. The baby squeals with delight which encourages my husband. I have warned him not to do it as it looks unsafe . Husband didn't listen. This morning he tried it on the carpet and my sons t-shirt rode up and he now has a carpet burn. I am livid! I informed my husband of his stupidity and he has brushed it off as not a big deal but promises not to do it again on the carpet. I have told him that the game is never to happen again. He is fighting me on it. AIBU?

OP posts:

Gazelda · 22/06/2018 16:33

If it's any consolation OP, my DH did that to our DD. She laughed so much and delighted in the look of horror on his face when he realised what he'd done. It's her favourite anecdote to share with anyone who'll listen (5+ years later). DH is obviously mortified, but DD is firmly in the 'my Dad does hilarious things with me' camp.

Bananasinpyjamas11 · 22/06/2018 16:35

@dorsetdays yes my friends arm got dislocated and A&E said it was very common from parents swinging them around too energetically!

Bananasinpyjamas11 · 22/06/2018 16:37

@gazelda I think your DHs response was fine, he was too rough and was mortified. The OPs DH brushed it off...

Ohmydayslove · 22/06/2018 16:42

Well if my dh informed me he was livid and I was stupid and to never do that again over a play accident I wouldn’t be brushing that off I would be telling him to fuck off as his reaction would be insanely OTT.

5foot5 · 22/06/2018 16:49

You don't brush it away as not important.

My guess is that what the OP describes as "brushing off" was probably her DH trying to persuade the OP that it really isn't the end of the world. She has already - graciously - admitted that she can be controlling and PFB and probably over-reacted. I guess the DH knew she would react like this and was trying to calm her down.

ModreB · 22/06/2018 16:52

If I could list the injuries that my 3 DS's accumulated over the years, it would be horrific. All through sport, play or just general family life.

OP, please, let your child be a child, and get bumps and bruises, and let his Dad be a Dad, and play.

The worst injuries my DS's had were from each other, carpet burn is really nothing.

Thebluedog · 22/06/2018 16:52

I think you might be over reacting just a tad

RomeoBunny · 22/06/2018 16:54

It's carpet burn. Get a fucking grip.

MissionItsPossible · 22/06/2018 16:57

@Thebluedog

OP knows.

@RomeoBunny

OP has.

Bananasinpyjamas11 · 22/06/2018 17:02

@5foot5 yes I take your point there. If OP just directly laid into him and he was trying to say it’s not so terrible he should be hanged out to dry I’d understand.

GrumpyOlderBloke · 22/06/2018 17:07

You have a son.

Make sure you know the shortest route to the nearest A&E.

Make sure you have your A&E season ticket kept up to date.

Learn how to remove bloodstains from all types of surface and fabric.

Keep an unopened packet of peas in the freezer for sprains, strains and broken limbs.

We have three of them.

Wait until stairs, climbing frames, ball games, bicycles, motor cycles, motor cars and power tools enter your life. You are in line for an early heart attack.

Enjoy!

Nincomsoup · 22/06/2018 17:14

It's a burn. An accidental burn, but a type of burn nonetheless, so I don't think you are being unreasonable.

However, he's agreed not to do it again on the carpet so I would accept that and let them play where it's not going to cause friction burns. Though not until this one has healed due to the wounding opening and possible infection.

ModreB · 22/06/2018 17:14

@ GrumpyOlderBloke don't forget setting fingers after rugby practice. I got so good, some of the nurses in A&E asked me how I knew what to do.

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 22/06/2018 17:15

You don't brush it away as not important.
Tell him you'll report him if he doesn't wise up, and follow through with it.

good grief, are you always this controlling,and frankly insane?

rosesandflowers1 · 22/06/2018 17:20

@GrumpyOlderBloke

My DS has had scrapes and bumps but nothing as extreme and frequent as your post suggests!

Same with the DD's...

Nincomsoup · 22/06/2018 17:22

@rosesandflowers1 I think that Grumpy was perhaps trying to play what they perceive as a "cool", but is actually very stupid, I have rough and tumble boys stereotype card...

Perhaps she missed this was a baby who had already had questions regarding safeguarding asked.

Glovepuppet1 · 22/06/2018 17:25

Yes, YABU - completely.

Kids will go through far worse than that, and no-one ever died from a bit of carpet burn. Doesn't sound like your child made too much of it, and neither should you - it seems like a complete over-reaction on your part..

Kids need to toughen up to survive in a world which will batter them if they have no resilience.

ittakes2 · 22/06/2018 17:25

Just ask him to drag him on a towel or something. I'm also not sure the whole drag him by one leg is so good for his hip joint. I know the drs don't recommend pulling children off the ground by one or two arms because of the pressure on their joints. I'm guessing 2 legs might be ok though.

rosesandflowers1 · 22/06/2018 17:28

I think that Grumpy was perhaps trying to play what they perceive as a "cool", but is actually very stupid, I have rough and tumble boys stereotype card...

I imagine that would be a nightmare, not something to brag about!

Regardless, from the post it sounded like the boys were either dangerously accident prone to the point it should be looked into or violent.

DS has broken his finger once. Other than that no serious injury! DD2 has broken her arm. DD1 is epileptic and trips over her own bloody feet every other day, but to this day has somehow managed to never break a bone

halfwitpicker · 22/06/2018 17:31

This thread is hilarious. Lots of ideas for this weekend!

BarbarianMum · 22/06/2018 17:42

Well I don't have "rough and tumble" boys but I've still carted my children to a&e 9 times over the past 12 years. 3 accidents and 6 emergencies. Only 2 admissions though.

EstrellaDamn · 22/06/2018 18:17

Of course I was treating them @SoddingUnicorns but the dressings stuck, or came off in his sleep so his jammies stuck.

Cheerbear23 · 22/06/2018 18:24

Hmmmm I wouldn't be too impressed with my DH if he did this to be honest.
Yes kids get all sorts of much worse injuries- but these are usually done to themselves by themselves - which is a big difference.

DailyMailReadersAreThick · 22/06/2018 18:28

YABU. My older brother did exactly the same to me when I was a child. I don't remember it (only know because my mum used to say it to make him feel guilty when he was mean to me!) but I remember fun, rough and tumble games.

Mangoo · 22/06/2018 18:42

My dad used to do stuff like this with me I loved it!!

My favourite was my lying flat on a towel and he'd grab the edges and twist them up so he was holding all edges is one hand (me lay in towel like a hammock). It was bloody brilliant. Wish I was small enough for him to do it now. Gave my mum a heart attack though

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