To wonder how the heck schools expect working parents to cope with this?

[Worriedaboutdog]

Apologies this may be a rant. DS1 is due to start school in September. We have therefore put childcare plans in place based on him starting school on the first day of term in September. School have just announced that:

a) reception start a week later
And
b) as a summer birthday, DS actually will do half days for another week after that, and ‘must be picked up at 1.30pm’.

No mention of either of these things was made when we looked round the school. We have already juggled the time off we have available to look after him over the summer. As it happens it’s probably easier for us than most parents as DH is a shift worker so can cover some days, but we were relying on him going to school at the beginning of September, and being in after-school club on days DH isn’t at home until I can get there to pick him up. Wtf are parents who both work Monday-Friday meant to do about two extra weeks?! This was all announced today in a meeting (I couldn’t go, because it was at 3.30pm, but DH did), and when he asked the class teacher if they had to go home at lunchtime or could stay and then go to after school club, she said they had to go home and we’d have to get ‘a grandparent or someone’ to pick them up. So we’ll just magic up a grandparent physically fit and willing enough to do a whole week of half days childcare, who is actually able to drive to the school, then.

He can possibly go back to his current nursery for the week he isn’t in school at all, but the half days are stumping me. I think I probably am being unreasonable to be cross - I realise school is not designed to be childcare, and therefore not run for the convenience of the parents, BUT they must know that parents make assumptions (based on the information on their website!) about the dates of terms and the length of the school day, and make arrangements accordingly. And that this just isn’t feasible for everyone, and if they don’t bloody tell you about it until June then plans (and budgets) for September childcare are already in place! Argh.

Juggling complex childcare arrangements, having a grandparent on call to cover or giving up your job to be a SAHM does not mean that you care more about your kid than someone who has more limited childcare options to draw on. Starting school should not be an endurance test for the parent or a measure of how much they are prepared to sacrifice for their child’s education! Especially when there is no good evidence of any benefit to the child.

He can possibly go back to his current nursery for the week he isn’t in school at all, but the half days are stumping me
Then put him in nursery for the two weeks and start him at school a week late.

It’s up to you to work it out - children have never gone in full days immediately.*
Actually mine did. She didn't start until the Wednesday but did full days from the start. And did breakfast and after school club from the next week. We were lucky though, my friend had one or two days a week for about 3 weeks.

Umm, school isn't childcare.

The 30 hours refers to preschool settings. Not actual schools.

There's a difference.

How the hell do you think teachers with reception age kids cope?

We take unpaid leave if we can, beg friends etc and have to suck it up.

Every working parent, teachers included have to deal with this. It's not new, or unknown.

It's one week of your life.

For my loud, confident, energetic ds using nursery to fill in the child care gaps of the staggered start didn’t work. All his peers had gone and he was uncharacteristically withdrawn. So much so that when an option came take him home, nursery waived the fee for the hours booked but not taken. If you are stretched for childcare/holidays I would advise speaking to the school about putting him on full time from the get go rather than putting him back in nursery as that environment will have changed once his cohort have moved on.

missmarple - I don’t know so many teachers but there is one parent in my DS’s reception class who is a head at another school. She uses her mother for childcare so doesn’t use any wrap around. She has been at every event during school hours that I have been at. I’m there by using annual leave. I don’t know how that works for a head? I do wonder if she affords the same privileges to her teaching staff...

But the “a grandparent or someone” is actually pretty offensive

Is it??
She may be incorrect, but offensive?

Our school is pretty reasonable. But I think if a parent insisted on their legal right to bring a reception child in on the first day of term, then that parent's relationship with the school is pretty much broken before their child has even started! Where we are, reception teachers and TAs spend their time doing home visits the first week. Where exactly are the full-time-from-the-first-day children going to be put?! Do they go cycling around on the home visits?!

It's certainly a pain, no question, but I think going at it from a 'this is my legal right' perspective is likely to mean a world of unnecessary future pain and conflict. Many nurseries will allow kids to continue to attend during the school settling period, and some after-school clubs also offer wraparound care.

Where exactly are the full-time-from-the-first-day children going to be put?!
They'd probably have to go with an older class if the reception staff were out on home visits, which would be quite weird for them. Less daunting for them to be back in their familiar old nursery I'd have thought, even if their mates had left and they were with younger ones.

My DC’s school start the Reception kids full time from day 1 of the school year.

I asked them about settling in times when we looked around the school - other schools we looked at had mentioned staggered starts - but our school said that they believed the children settled in faster if they went straight into the normal full time schedule from the start.

I definitely think going full time from day 1 was best for DS1, he has ASD and struggles to cope with changes to his routine, so he’d have found a staggered start very unsettling indeed.

Can you work from home or take parental leave?

For ds I actually took holiday and spread them over the times I needed to cover the half days.

My dd will start next year but as a sept baby she won’t need so much settling (apparently) and so will notnstart until
Around the 20th of sept! So it’s nursery or parental leave for me!

Schools are places of education, not childcare.

WE KNOW THIS.

Nobody is asking schools to provide "childcare hours"--we all know that we have to pay for childcare.

We are asking schools to have schedules that are regular and predictable enough to enable us to make our childcare arrangements which we are all happy to take full responsibility for paying for and organizing.

Whenever I hear schools getting sniffy about the idea that perhaps they should try to be cooperative regarding the needs of working parents, I feel like reminding them that their funds come from taxpayers. If half the working parents in this country quit their jobs in order to accommodate loopy schedules by the schools, what do you think would happen to tax revenues and how much do you think schools' budgets would have to be slashed?

Thankfully our local primary school did full days for reception from the start, having tried phased start in previous years and found it didn't make much difference to how they settled in.

And STILL I ended up giving up work before he end of DD's first school year.

I went back to work when DD was 13 months old, no problems at all with juggling nursery and work. As SOON as she started school I found I couldn't juggle it all.

School seems to treat working parents with contempt. You can't 'just take holiday' for 4pm parents 'evenings', 9am phonics meetings, 2pm carol concerts, because you need to save leave to cover the 14weeks school holidays and INSET days.

Unfortunately if you don't have friends with kids, you don't find any of this out until you've already got children. I mean, who really googles summer holiday club opening times before they've even conceived???

Good luck OP!

Nobody is asking schools to provide "childcare hours"--we all know that we have to pay for childcare.

We are asking schools to have schedules that are regular and predictable enough to enable us to make our childcare arrangements which we are all happy to take full responsibility for paying for and organizing.

EXACTLY!

Damn im glad this isnt the done thing here
Dd school only ever said IF she is tired and wants to do a half day here or there, thats fine, wont be marked as absent or anything. That was for whole first term
But generally all kids went full days, 5 days a week from day 1

Staggering seems very disruptive for parents and kids. Dd would have hated half days, she loved full days from start.

Been saying it for about 20 yrs total.
Welcome to the Juggle!

Welcome to spinning plates life op. It wasever thus even 15 years ago. I extended maternity leave rather than shell out for additional care. Poor as a church mouse but no other option.
Good luck.

Kokeshi, very well put. That is what everyone is saying.

Schools (primary in particular) just don't seem to appreciate the hoops that parents who work in other industries or other parts of the public sector have to jump through to accommodate their demands.

The message needs to get through to many more of them.

It's actually not the norm for half dsys in our area. When dd started reception a couple of years ago they phased the children in across the week, eg 6 children started on day 1, another 6 on day 2 etc, but they all did full days.

Of course you should get proper notice about this but I'm torn as to whether nearly 3 months is actually enough notice. I feel that it probably is, but that most working parents will probably need more notice because they have to give employers more notice of flexible working plans. Welcome to the world of last minute changes. Come join the ride!

Oof. Lotta people eager to tell you what constitutes the bottom line, OP! “The school won’t be interested . . . “ “The school doesn’t have to . . . “ “School isn’t childcare” “Suck it up!” They’re all talking bollocks. You can insist your child goes full time, from the very first day, and that’s all there is to it. Don’t worry about being ‘that person’. Three or four children at my school attended full-time, from that start, and provision was made for them: they weren’t ‘dumped’ anywhere; nor did they look on forlornly while their peers got picked up by parents who, presumably, loved them more 🙄 I know a number of people for who, this sort of protracted staggered start, would imperil their jobs - it’s a reasonable concern. All the forewarning in the world doesn’t help if you simply haven’t got family members who can help. Don’t worry about it. Your child won’t develop PTSD. Tell the school now that you won’t be able to accommodate their staggered start. It’ll be fine.

for whom

It depends on the school policy surely.
I have been told in no uncertain terms many moons ago by a jumped up newly appointed head teacher that they are teachers and not child minders.

Our school is very sensible. Tuesday, half the class do morning and lunch, other half do afternoons. Wednesday they swap over. Thursday full time for everyone. That’s quite enough faffing around! Dd went to a different primary school and did various half days till October half term-‘‘twas a nightmare!

Yanbu. Ours miss the whole
Of the first week then do two weeks of mornings! Wtf! Luckily I know as I have friends with kids there, but our ‘welcome’ meeting is next week and I know 50% of parents will be freaking out as they had no idea!

I HATE the "teachers not childminders" line though because the fact is, a whole day of childcare is much easier to arrange than a day where a child needs to be dropped at school, collected then cared for. So not only are they not providing childcare but they are actively making childcare 10 x more difficult to sort for working parents. Our transition phase the week of no school at all was a doddle to organise compared to the fortnight of mornings, afternoons and lunches.