To wonder how the heck schools expect working parents to cope with this?

[Worriedaboutdog]

Apologies this may be a rant. DS1 is due to start school in September. We have therefore put childcare plans in place based on him starting school on the first day of term in September. School have just announced that:

a) reception start a week later
And
b) as a summer birthday, DS actually will do half days for another week after that, and ‘must be picked up at 1.30pm’.

No mention of either of these things was made when we looked round the school. We have already juggled the time off we have available to look after him over the summer. As it happens it’s probably easier for us than most parents as DH is a shift worker so can cover some days, but we were relying on him going to school at the beginning of September, and being in after-school club on days DH isn’t at home until I can get there to pick him up. Wtf are parents who both work Monday-Friday meant to do about two extra weeks?! This was all announced today in a meeting (I couldn’t go, because it was at 3.30pm, but DH did), and when he asked the class teacher if they had to go home at lunchtime or could stay and then go to after school club, she said they had to go home and we’d have to get ‘a grandparent or someone’ to pick them up. So we’ll just magic up a grandparent physically fit and willing enough to do a whole week of half days childcare, who is actually able to drive to the school, then.

He can possibly go back to his current nursery for the week he isn’t in school at all, but the half days are stumping me. I think I probably am being unreasonable to be cross - I realise school is not designed to be childcare, and therefore not run for the convenience of the parents, BUT they must know that parents make assumptions (based on the information on their website!) about the dates of terms and the length of the school day, and make arrangements accordingly. And that this just isn’t feasible for everyone, and if they don’t bloody tell you about it until June then plans (and budgets) for September childcare are already in place! Argh.

The OP seems to be asking for better communication and not a change to the policy. Does anyone on here think it's unreasonable that schools should have to provide this crucial information on the acceptance of the place? (I think they should also have to provide details of what wrap around there is, the application system for it and the chances of getting a place in it).

To be honest I find the whole primary system in England ridiculous given that if you don't get a suitable school (e.g. location wise relative to work, childcare etc) in the spring then it's not at all long to change job or working arrangements by the autumn -- and this works to the detriment of women in particular.

The whole system is institutionally sexist and the only reason it doesn't get changed is most people only have to put up for it for a few short years.

Sorry, rant over.

My DS1 and DS2 started at different schools - DS1 was at a school where they started a normal day from day 1. DS2 was gently phased in over most of the first half of the first term, which played havoc with our two full time jobs (no family around).

Guess which one did better? DS1 of course, because they'd both been going to a nursery from 8am to 6pm since they were one , and were fine being away from us, whereas we used all of our annual leave on the 'settling in' and so had to put both kids in a holiday camp for part of every holiday that year - thanks school 2!

Schools are places of education, not childcare. I expect they make arrangements based on the fact they have years of experience helping children adjust to starting school and prioritise this over parental convenience.

How is it the school's fault that you decided to have children and work also! It is their not their problem to sort out your childcare arrangements.

All good points @starkdismay. The system is based on mothers being around to provide whatever unpaid labour is necessary, and hasn’t moved with the times (for starters a single income is often insufficient to raise a family on, these days!)

Btw I am That Parent, and I don’t give a shit about it. I’m That Parent because I do have my children’s best interest in mind.

School day/year times are for the benefit of the child, not the working parent. Children need holidays and time off and short days. Frustrating but necessary

If you cared about your child - Yes, DH said there was a definite undertone of this from the class teacher when he queried whether the 1.30 pick-ups were compulsory.

My DCs were full days (1st day they started 30 mins later and ended 30 mims earlier) from the start. My current school is full time from the start but 30 mins later start on 1st day).

I think all the staggered starting rubbish is counter productive TBH.

My son is starting school this September.

The children start full days right from the start but for the first week they only go in three days a week. The full time, 5 days a week starts on their second week.

Come off it, Twig! We're not talking here about parents wanting to dump their children in free childcare. The level of inconvenience some people are describing could result in a parent losing a job! It is absolutely ridiculous to expect parents to give up that amount of working time in the modern age and as many have said it ends up being such a patchwork of different hours from day to day and different people picking up it's hard to see how it can be good for the children.

No schools aren't childcare, but it's less unsettling for children who will be using before and after school clubs to just go into them from the start, rather than working parents calling in favours and DCs ending up with a different person picking them up every lunchtime for a fortnight.

The staggered start is only beneficial for the children who aren't used to being away from their parents for a whole day.

Also yes I am genuinely worried DS will find it unsettling. He is being investigated for ASD and very much likes knowing what his routine is. Hence why he usually goes in to nursery even if DH is off on weekday mornings as he absolutely detested being dropped off later etc.

@quizqueen it’s the school’s fault entirely because by law, they need to offer the op’s dc a full-time place from day one. By law.

The school is choosing not to tell the OP that is an option and give the impression that their child needs to attend part-time at first. How is it good for a child that their patent have to use their leave allowance up in September, perhaps meaning no chance of a family holiday later in the year, or the next summer? How is it good for a child to be passed from pillar to post in makeshift childcare arrangements by hardworking parents who can afford to take time off? How are these things good when the school is required by law to offer a full time place, and is giving parents the impression this is not the case?

All the schools round here do staggered starts for all children, regardless of age. They all do part time until the first half term, then those who are not coping with the few increased days do part time for longer.

They do 8.40-12 for a couple of weeks then they add in a couple of stay for lunch, then they might add in a couple of full days...... all these gradually increase until they drop from exhaustion can cope and are doing full time. To be fair, they are babies, barely out of toddlerhood, so it is the kindest way of doing it.

My son's school had part times sessions until the week before half term where they did the full 9 till 330. The first week they did 1.5 hours the next it increased to 2 hours and so on.

So we had 5 weeks of it, 2 really doesn't sound too bad.

It is stupid though especially for children who have already been at a nursery

Deshasafraisy - no, children don't need short days. If they can't cope with the school day at 4, the whole year should be shorter, not just a couple of weeks. (Which would be easier to sort childcare for!)

Those who have already been in nursery cope fine. It's the ones who've only done the 3 hours of preschool a day that struggle with the school day.

(And I say that as a SAHM who's DCs benefitted from the staggered start, but they were in the minority.)

I feel for you. We were surprised by this when ours started. And totally disrupting. She went from full time nursery to random half days. This idea one parent is around is totally outdated.

All I can advise is find out the day they release the after school club places and get your form and money to reception before school (or even the end of the day the day before).

Only on MN do people say you can insist he stays all day. I mean, you might try it, but to the school is likely to say no, but mainly - what would that be like? Your first week of primary one, all your pals leave to have lunch at home and you sit there, just you and your teacher, or dumped into a different class, for the rest of the day.

It is what it is, we all have to deal with childcare challenges once school begins.

Children need holidays and time off and short days. Frustrating but necessary

You could also argue that kids benefit from stability and a predictable pattern to their days. You can argue anything you want really, but from experience many of the processes schools put in place are because “that’s just how we do it” as much as for the benefit of the child.

This is pretty normal procedure. I would explain to the teacher the problem and see if my child can start full time from the start date. And try and juggle the previous week. Can you afford a child minder to fill in times there is no cover? there might be someone who can help short term or short notice.

Be also prepared for things like strike days or snow days. Last time my child had a snow day we were contacted 20 mins before school started for the day and it was a day I was meant to work. But then had to make time up later on the following week.

State schools do seem to assume that:

1. Most children have a SAHP.
2. Children without a SAHP have grandparents who help out.
3. A weeks notice is ample for any school event.
4. Parents require less than 48h notice to provide cakes/ tombola prized/ exact amounts of cash for trips/ themed costumes.
5. Hospital appointments can be rearranged such that they never fall within school hours.
6. Parents are immediately contactable at any point during the school day, and can collect their child within 30 mins if requested to do so.
7. Parents can go to events scheduled immediately after school (e.g. at 3.30pm) without their child.

One of the reasons I was a SAHM parent until both children were settled at school was having no family within 400 miles to help out with this kind of thing. We would have struggled massively if we'd both been working full-time and had to cope with illness of child, school holidays and so on and so forth. School at the time had no breakfast or after school club.

Ours also had a staggered start date so the oldest ones started first week then the next batch the next week etc. Poor youngest children had to join in 4 weeks later to a class where friendships had already started forming. The whole thing was chaotic - but, it gets easier. Now we are coming to end of year 1 and it’s ok.