To wonder how the heck schools expect working parents to cope with this?

[Worriedaboutdog]

Apologies this may be a rant. DS1 is due to start school in September. We have therefore put childcare plans in place based on him starting school on the first day of term in September. School have just announced that:

a) reception start a week later
And
b) as a summer birthday, DS actually will do half days for another week after that, and ‘must be picked up at 1.30pm’.

No mention of either of these things was made when we looked round the school. We have already juggled the time off we have available to look after him over the summer. As it happens it’s probably easier for us than most parents as DH is a shift worker so can cover some days, but we were relying on him going to school at the beginning of September, and being in after-school club on days DH isn’t at home until I can get there to pick him up. Wtf are parents who both work Monday-Friday meant to do about two extra weeks?! This was all announced today in a meeting (I couldn’t go, because it was at 3.30pm, but DH did), and when he asked the class teacher if they had to go home at lunchtime or could stay and then go to after school club, she said they had to go home and we’d have to get ‘a grandparent or someone’ to pick them up. So we’ll just magic up a grandparent physically fit and willing enough to do a whole week of half days childcare, who is actually able to drive to the school, then.

He can possibly go back to his current nursery for the week he isn’t in school at all, but the half days are stumping me. I think I probably am being unreasonable to be cross - I realise school is not designed to be childcare, and therefore not run for the convenience of the parents, BUT they must know that parents make assumptions (based on the information on their website!) about the dates of terms and the length of the school day, and make arrangements accordingly. And that this just isn’t feasible for everyone, and if they don’t bloody tell you about it until June then plans (and budgets) for September childcare are already in place! Argh.

DS's secondary does recognise parents work, but I recall that while my DCs primary wasn't too bad at giving notice and generally sort of remembering that mums do work, I've heard stuff about the other local primaries that suggests they are having to drag themselves kicking and screaming into the 21st century.

Most schools do staggered starts, but also be ready for calls to take your child home because they are ill or upset, inset days, snowdays, strike days, school is a polling station days, school closed for 2 days for water/electrcity/roof problem, school closes earlier last day before holidays, after school care doesn't open for full day holiday care on some holidays etc.

First year ds was at school I saved as many annual leave days as possible and dh was self employed (could be flexible, but everyday he took off was expensive) so we knew we could take time off if needed for anything unexpected that came up.

It was much easier when they were in childcare!!

For some families it is almost cheaper to pay school fees due to the career preservation you can achieve with utter reliability, before and after school clubs, no inset days.

Yes my friends who pay for PE certainly reap the rewards as far as reliable after school childcare/overnight care etc

The other thing that all the early finishes, concerts, sports days etc etc are always cramped into the last couple of weeks of term when you are already gearing up to cover weeks of holiday. This week I have a sports day on Monday and a concert on Tuesday (same class) that expect parent attendance. I work part time but even so that's a stretch.

Oh and they were after volunteers for class craft this Friday as well.

When mine had staggered starts they had mornings only for two weeks then a week of 3 full days and 3 mornings only. They were a few parents who already knew each other so we got together and took turns to collect the kids. One Mum would pick all the kids up, take them home for lunch and have them for the rest of the school day. Then drop them all back at the end of the school day so they could go home with older siblings or go to after-school club. Means you only have to take a couple of afternoons off work.
The kids were all pretty knackered - I did two Fridays and the kids had no energy left - I'm big on no TV when they have friends over but made an exception for those days as it was all the kids could do to stay awake!

I work in a school so can't take time off in term time. I bet the same posters who are berating OP and telling her to "just take time off" would be the first to complain if I wasn't able to meet with them, return their calls/emails or build any kind of relationship with their DC because I've had to take the first two weeks of term off work and then have to keep leaving at random times of day for several weeks to settle my own DD into Reception.

Completely agree.

Which is why parents who work should tell the school that they will be exercising their right to have their child starting in their lawful free, full time education space from Day 1 of the term.

Oh and they were after volunteers for class craft this Friday as well.

So? Do you think they shouldn't ever ask for volunteers just because you can't do it? There are still a lot of SAH parents at my school. I'm not going to stop having reading volunteers just because it makes some working parents feel bad.

With regerence to the volunteering thoughts, IME it's all about your approach. I run a small village pre school. I can't run without my parent volunteers. However, families come with children...smaller children...who put their hands in the paint and attempt to eat the threading beads. I live in the dichotomy between understanding this and desperately needing help. Plus they don't have childcare...I am the childcare. I know schools arent childcare but parents will naturally fill the gap that school creates...often with work.

I personally believe that how we empathise with and ultimately how we treat people is vitally important. So I don't insist on "duties" or make volunteering opportunities a big deal...probably to my detriment.

I see the situation from both sides and it's hard from either way.

I was thrilled my kids schools didn't do staggered starts.

We had this for the whole Autumn term! My work was an hour & 20 minute commute away and not happy with accommodating flexible working for three solid months. My parents worked themselves and since we'd only moved to the area the year before and he was our first, we had no network to help us out.

I was eventually forced to leave my job 😢 I know it 'helps them settle in' but in some cases it's just not possible without inviting real financial hardship.

Mine didn't do full days until January and didn't stay full days until February after doing lunch then home for a fortnight.

I understand the difficulties with staggered starts but why can't people carry on with the child care they already have in place? . I know there's probably numerous responses to this and I do know some already…

@YearOfYouRemember

I can't speak for anyone else but my DS went to a nursery in town for childcare and preschool and when he started school (about 5 miles from the nursery) we had no way to spirit him back and forth throughout the day.

Someone had to physically be there, and I was the only feasible option.

This is how schools generally treat parents os start getting used to it! You apparently have all the time in the world to comply with their unreasonable requests with incredibly short noice. Impossible when I was a full-time working single parent. You wait for the "Please send your child dressed as a bee/victorian/easter egg (delete as appropriate) tomorrow! And can you pay a £1 for the privilege!" Oh and can you force your child to do an hour of unnecessary homework which they will hate and not want to do and they are also exhausted after getting home at 6.30 after I have picked them up from After Sch Club." Ummmm No I cannot! One of the very many reasons I hated dealing with the school and would consider home schooling if I had another. They do not seem to realise that parents have a life and other responsibilities out of school too, and you are not their pupil!

@QuizzlyBear - location was one thing I didn't think of .

I had the same nightmare when mine started reception they told me it was so the child could get used to an extended day, most of the other children had attended the school the year before in the nursery , found out 2 weeks before they started that it was for that length of time so it was just my child and a couple of others who where new. I did point out that my child already did 8.5 hour days 5 days a week from 4 months old, so to go to 3 hours would be more of a shock... and this was for 6 weeks.... argh, . For child 2 it went down to 4 weeks, but still too long. had to retain my old nursery services, ask my boss for an early lunch / some annual leave ...rush out collect the child and move them to their old nursery for lunch and the afternoon...It was hell. Luckily I live and work fairly locally, within 4 miles but it can still take 15-20 mins each way if the traffic is busy across town.

Funny Xenia popping up to plug wrap-around care at private schools. All I can think is: private schools have even SHORTER terms, so even more days to take off work or more extra days of paid childcare to cover.

Every yr this thread reruns, when some working parents realise that schools are a public service not run for their convenience. Yes kids are an inconvenience, including for people in work. Pah.

Our child's introduction to reception was dragged out over 4 or 5 weeks. It was the week before half term before they attended for full days !

Heh, phased starts have been going on for years. I was a summer baby. Back then summer babies didn’t start school until after Christmas.

My eldest is 16. He had phased starts.

My 9 year old is a Late July baby. She had a whole month of half days... I think it might have been 6 weeks actually. Thankfully I managed to share out the days I worked with family and friends. It’s not easy! But we all do it. Good luck

Welcome to school days!!

when some working parents realise that schools are a public service not run for their convenience
Hilarious. Schools are paid for by the people that use them. They are re there to serve the needs of people that use them. State provision shouldn’t mean “like it or lump it that’s what you’re getting” as that’s going back to the “any colour you like as long as it’s black” concept.

If schools were competing for funds and pupils they wouldn’t do this. Schools near me in London sometimes do this but new parents don’t know what to ask when requesting spaces so that “but you should know this happens” response from schools is completely negligent when they finally mention it a few weeks before starting.

Not read thread as on hols but find yourself a really good childminder who does before/after school care and can accommodate this settling in period. I knew a fab one who did this every year for new starters and was much better than the school club and much more flexible

You might be my new rant buddy OP. Our school is the same, absolutely no thought for working parents and no attempt at inclusion. If you can’t take time off during the day, you miss out on stuff and so does your child. Because being a working parent isn’t enough of a guilt fest... I once suggested to the school that the teaching staff do an inclusion evening for working parents but was told they couldn’t be expected to work late. Irritatingly the same person came in to my work two minutes before closing with all the schools business and it made me 30 minutes late. I did point out the irony but it was lost on them... don’t get your hopes about schools and teachers, they all moan how hard they work yet don’t seem to want to go above and beyond for all family set ups.

When my children were little it was 6 weeks of half days which infuriated me as they were full time nursery as I worked full time