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AIBU?

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Original poster

School and 'rules' re shorts under dress

467 replies

oblada · 20/06/2018 07:23

Before I take this further quick 'poll'; does your school insist that girls wear shorts under their dress if they want to mess about at break time in a way that could involve someone seeing their knickers? Would you expect a rule like this? My daughter is saying that her school and her after school club have told her off for doing gymnastic 'moves' during break time whilst wearing a dress with no shorts or tights underneath. She says she's been told it's 'rude' because people can see her knickers. She is 6yrs old btw. I think this is completely bonkers and she should be allowed to do as she wish as long as she is not actually showing her 'privates' to people on purpose. Underpants are underpants and are not offensive (to me). Of course I don't know yet how much she has actually been told off, or whether it's peer pressure rather than school so I'll go and ask later. But thought I'd gather some views!

OP posts:
Bibesia · 20/06/2018 10:24

I know there are paedophiles in our local area, and I’m not giving them an inch to look at my DD

Do you keep her hidden indoors then? You do know that odd types lurking around school and other playgrounds tend to get picked up, don't you? And also that they are going to get just as much of a thrill out of the sight of a little girl in shorts as anything else?

Jellycatspyjamas · 20/06/2018 10:24

Just to be clear, I’m not suggesting my children should be able o get their bits out anywhere they please, or that as their parent is not teaching them discretion, privacy and courtesy but I really don’t get why it’s considered unsafe for my child to wear pants under her skirt.

The very worst that can happen is that they move slightly and she flashes a bit more flesh than intended. I get that’s not ideal but dangerous and offensive? Enough to leave her thinking her genitalia are so powerful she needs two layers of cloth covering them at all times?

SirVixofVixHall · 20/06/2018 10:24

My dd has pants with the tardis on today.. very sturdy and colourful, perfectly decent for handstands , from here creasefreeclothes.co.uk/product/custom-kids-briefs/ otherwise she has Petit Bateau classic pants, they don’t go baggy and last for years.

Ski4130 · 20/06/2018 10:25

There are no rules like that at my daughter's (age 7) school BUT she does wear cycle shorts under her school dress (her choice) as she likes to climb the trim trail, hang upside down and do carthweels. Entirely her choice.

SoddingUnicorns · 20/06/2018 10:26

@Bibesia no I don’t keep her hidden inside. I do make sure her genitals are covered because her safety is more important than me making a point. HTH.

Bibesia · 20/06/2018 10:26

peados live everywhere and yes they are re housed near schools etc

No, known paedophiles are not housed in properties overlooking schools.

letsallhaveanap · 20/06/2018 10:26

soddingunicorns yeah I agree I just meant the forcing... what I take issue with is that the girls are being told directly to wear shorts and that their knickers are 'rude' etc..... I am not concerned at all about girls who want to wear shorts, thats up to them.... Im just concerned about teachers going up to girls doing handstands in the playground and telling them they need to cover their knickers

user1499173618 · 20/06/2018 10:27

“Her safety is more important than me making a point”.

Yes.

SirVixofVixHall · 20/06/2018 10:27

Agree letsallhaveanap.

SoddingUnicorns · 20/06/2018 10:27

@Bibesia I’m afraid that’s just not true. There was a convicted paedophile run off my old estate weeks ago, within 50 yards of a school and 75 yards of a nursery. So you’re wrong.

@letsallhaveanap I agree with that, I’m not up for them being shamed or forced into it.

user1499173618 · 20/06/2018 10:29

The public park next to my DD’s primary school was paedo heaven. Hence reasonable parental precaution.

PoppyField · 20/06/2018 10:30

If you use the ‘Paedos everywhere’ premise for covering up little children, boys and girls presumably, then there is a reasonable argument for not letting them out of the house.

Based on the stats, there are paedophiles in every ‘local’ area.

Yes, or course there’s an ‘each to their own’ element to any discussion of clothing, but a school rule denotes a culture and a standard to which parents and their children are forced to subscribe. And I would hate to see a erosion of girls’ or boys’ rights to express themselves freely.

We cannot limit people’s gaze in a public place, we cannot prevent people looking at our children and we cannot know who is looking at our children. Once we start to limit our children by what we might think is going on in the mind of the beholder, then we go down the route of holding them (girls, mainly, it seems) responsible for the disgusting thoughts of people who may or may not be looking at them. And that is unacceptable.

I think it is worth holding a line on that.

Bibesia · 20/06/2018 10:31

SoddingUnicorns, how does your daughter showing her pants during the occasional handstand in the school playground endanger her safety?

SoddingUnicorns · 20/06/2018 10:33

@Bibesia why do you care? My DD is nothing to do with you, neither is my parenting. If you choose not to stop your child potentially showing their genitalia, that’s up to you.

Bibesia · 20/06/2018 10:34

I'm struggling with this as my DD wears shorts every day under her dress as when she sits crossed legged her knickers fully shoe and quite often more shows. I don't understand why it's wrong or body shaming to not want her private parts to be on display?

Buy sturdier knickers, don't make her wear an extra layer all day every day on the off-chance that just occasionally her pants might ride up and shown an extra half inch of lesh.

Also she quite often doesn't wipe very well and I'd worry that Children may see a wet patch and she would get teased. Why is not wrong to want to prevent that?

Wouldn't a better solution be to teach her to wipe properly? Other issues apart, she'll start to smell.

ShouldofWouldofCouldof · 20/06/2018 10:35

@bibesia a bikini is not underwear so not even in context of what we ate talking about. A bikini is a fashion choice and severs no practically apart from showing off your body if thats what you chose to wear. No where near the same as flashing knickers etc. And yes peados are housed everyhere. There are 3 on 1 street next to a school in my area one of them.overlooks the grounds.... please educate yourself on this.

SirVixofVixHall · 20/06/2018 10:35

Tardis pants and Petit Bateau, both thick fabric, sturdy , well fitting and stay put when playing.

School and 'rules' re shorts under dress
School and 'rules' re shorts under dress
SoddingUnicorns · 20/06/2018 10:36

Buy sturdier knickers, don't make her wear an extra layer all day every day on the off-chance that just occasionally her pants might ride up and shown an extra half inch of lesh

Or you could just keep your snout out of other people’s parenting? And educate yourself of paedophiles while you’re at it, because you clearly do not have a clue.

animaginativeusername · 20/06/2018 10:36

Local School is mostly populated with pakistani Muslim students, yet no policy of shorts or leggings under the dress. A few do wear leggings or cycle shorts under their dress, some wear tights, and some with neither. Silly rule to impose modesty wear on girls

lastnightidreamtofpotatoes · 20/06/2018 10:39

I have mixed feelings about this, but ultimately I think it is better to err on the side of caution. I thought it was all a bit OTT until I was in the park and saw a young girl (probably about 7 or 8) coming down the slide in a summer dress, legs spread out over the edge of the slide which meant that her pants had effectively wedgied her and her labia was on full show to the bench of adults sitting in full view. Pants now (especially as you can get 'high rise' ones for young children) do not always cover the genitals if they are playing and if I had a dd I would want her to be as carefree as possible whilst playing, so would probably put a pair of shorts under summer dress.

Bibesia · 20/06/2018 10:40

What’s the danger of them wearing shorts so their genitalia are covered?

You can deal with that by buying good quality pants. There is a danger of getting thrush by virtue of wearing unnecessary layers. There is also a more insidious danger in being taught to feel that the occasional brief flash of your body covered by cloth is "immodest", with all that that implies.

liz70 · 20/06/2018 10:40

Is it just me, or am I sensing the implication that those if us who don't insist on our daughters wearing shorts under skirts or dresses are willingly putting them at more risk of paedophiles? Hmm Okaaayyyy then...

Bibesia · 20/06/2018 10:41

Living within 50 yards of a school isn't being housed overlooking the school playground, SoddingUnicorns.

lastnightidreamtofpotatoes · 20/06/2018 10:41

Sir those pants are lovely, just had a look and they are at least £5 a pair! I would rather spend £3.50 on a pair of shorts. The price of designer 'sturdy' pants will be out of the reach of many.

SoddingUnicorns · 20/06/2018 10:41

Is it just me, or am I sensing the implication that those if us who don't insist on our daughters wearing shorts under skirts or dresses are willingly putting them at more risk of paedophiles

No, I said that I put shorts on DD because I know there are paedophiles in the local area and her school playground faces the main road.