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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

School and 'rules' re shorts under dress

467 replies

oblada · 20/06/2018 07:23

Before I take this further quick 'poll'; does your school insist that girls wear shorts under their dress if they want to mess about at break time in a way that could involve someone seeing their knickers? Would you expect a rule like this? My daughter is saying that her school and her after school club have told her off for doing gymnastic 'moves' during break time whilst wearing a dress with no shorts or tights underneath. She says she's been told it's 'rude' because people can see her knickers. She is 6yrs old btw. I think this is completely bonkers and she should be allowed to do as she wish as long as she is not actually showing her 'privates' to people on purpose. Underpants are underpants and are not offensive (to me). Of course I don't know yet how much she has actually been told off, or whether it's peer pressure rather than school so I'll go and ask later. But thought I'd gather some views!

OP posts:
Timeisslippingaway · 20/06/2018 19:06

LakieLady,
Really perhaps you could tell that to whoever placed a female peadophile, who had been caught with images of children on her laptop (19 years old), in a block of flats, 30 feet from my children's nursery and school!

ilovesprouts · 20/06/2018 19:06

At my ds2 school it's a SN school a few girls wear shorts under there dressers also because if they have pads on it makes them feel more secure

Timeisslippingaway · 20/06/2018 19:09

SoddingUnicorns

🤔 this is something I may have to see for myself 😂

SoddingUnicorns · 20/06/2018 19:10

apologies for the DM link, I can’t find any others

This was him, it was February sorry, and he targeted little boys. And was allowed to continue living within yards of a school and my children’s nursery. Call me crazy but when you’ve got a beast after wee boys, I’m not happy walking my wee boy (the age of his victims) past his house to get to nursery.

SoddingUnicorns · 20/06/2018 19:11

this is something I may have to see for myself

It’s well worth the trip Grin DP wore it once for a game and I could hardly concentrate Blush

SoddingUnicorns · 20/06/2018 19:15

Chris Cussiter of the Scotland squad

School and 'rules' re shorts under dress
Timeisslippingaway · 20/06/2018 19:32

I wonder if the people on here saying it is ridiculous for young girls to be advised to cover themselves adequately at school, would feel the same if the were aware there was a convicted paedophile living right next to the school.

SoddingUnicorns · 20/06/2018 19:36

@Timeisslippingaway it’s been said upthread that people don’t see why someone’s perversions should change the way their DDs dress. Not strictly about beasts, but following their logic....

liz70 · 20/06/2018 19:43

It's truly disturbing that some people seem to think that wearing shorts under a skirt or dress will protect them against paedophiles.

Timeisslippingaway · 20/06/2018 19:43

I say they would feel very different if the new for a fact someone like this was literally in reaching distance of their children.

Timeisslippingaway · 20/06/2018 19:48

It won't protect them but if their not covered it will certainly give that paedophile something more to look at. If your happy with that then fine, I however am not.

0hCrepe · 20/06/2018 20:01

liz70 it won’t protect them against paedophiles but it would mean children, staff and, when out at a park etc, the general public would not be able to see their knickers. Sometimes you do get a full view. Wearing shorts prevents that, that’s all! Of course no one should be bothered or interested or notice but the sad fact is they do.
Just like people notice female tennis players’ pants! Are they still not allowed to wear shorts? Even some of the men wear shorts under shorts!

ShouldofWouldofCouldof · 20/06/2018 20:06

I can count 8 schoold within 1/2 mile from my house. There are aprox 179 known offenders within the area.... thats only the ones known about. If my children wearing a pair of shorts to cover their modesty is wrong then i really dont know what is right with the world...

ShouldofWouldofCouldof · 20/06/2018 20:09

No It wont protect them but it makes them less of a target... ever heard of long distance lenses on a camera? id rather not take the risk that some sick bastard maybe getting his kicks from a pic he took where for 3 seconds my child was exposed. Because once its captured on camera it last a life time then shared round the dark web

ShouldofWouldofCouldof · 20/06/2018 20:14

Also schools have cctv. There was an incident recently where a dozens schools in the north west had their wifi system hacked and the hackers had access to the cctv images.... now imagine little jenny stood on her head skirt blown down roind her ears flimsy knickers not sat where they are supposed to be and some dirty peado getting his kicks.... well there you go your child is a star in their perversion. Not to.mention cctv on parks etc who monitors those?

Jellycatspyjamas · 20/06/2018 20:43

Paedophiles aren’t generally interested in catching a glimpse of a child’s underwear - they’re much more likely to be joining your circle of friends, grooming you to have access to your children to groom them too. If I suggested a woman shouldn’t wear a short skirt because there might a rapist in the street that would be ok?

I’m more than happy for folk to put their own kids in shorts and dresses or whatever, I don’t think it’s necessary and don’t do it with mine. I don’t think schools or anywhere else get to make a blanket “cover your daughters” rule - telling me I’m endangering my child by letting her play in a dress is utter nonsense.

smileyhappypeople · 20/06/2018 20:48

We have this rule at our kids school. It's quite sad really

ShouldofWouldofCouldof · 20/06/2018 20:53

Paedophiles aren’t generally interested in catching a glimpse of a child’s underwear if only this was true
Police never find images of children playing in parks or schools or at the beach when they raid houses do they?!

flakesaretasty · 20/06/2018 21:02

I don't know what images they find, but I'd imagine a bit different from playing in the park images.

ShouldofWouldofCouldof · 20/06/2018 21:26

Not always. If only it were that simple. People get their kicks from alsorts. The thing is police find millions of images that would appear to be 'innocent' ( such as kids playin in a park) but lead to much darker things. A peado isnt necessarily a one size fits all they all get their kicks differently. An image that normal people would call innocent could be a fetish for a peado. Who know how these people think! I would love the world to be a place where we didn't have to worry about our childrens safety in such away but that is not the case. Just look at the google earth controversy a few years ago with people having sex in fields etc and the images were missed by the censors and put up for the world to see! Yes they have been taken down from the source but not before they were viewed by millions and shared over different social sites.

Jellycatspyjamas · 20/06/2018 21:37

People done for indecent images of children are storing just that, indecent images, not kids pants in the park. By that reckoning I’d never let my kids over the door for fear of someone fetishising pigtails, ankle socks or paw patrol.

And an adult having sex in a public place being photographed and shared is vastly different to my child doing half a handstand wearing a dress. There is literally no comparison.

Deadringer · 20/06/2018 21:45

If a school feel that a child needs to wear shorts underneath their skirt for modesty reasons then skirts are simply not practical and they should rethink their uniform.

ShouldofWouldofCouldof · 20/06/2018 21:51

Yes the conviction stands on the most indecent/ horrific images. But tge "innocent " images can also be used as evidence why does anyone have / need thousands of images of children playing - when none of the children belong to them? But this is getting way off topic now. Long and short (!)is, If you dont want your child exposing themselves put them in big knickers or shorts or what ever you choose that is APPROPRIATE to the activity. If your not so bothered crack on the way you are. I personally would rather not see anyones underwear or privates or let my children show theirs in a playground or park but thats just my opinion.

MagicNumberyThings · 20/06/2018 23:44

This will just rumble on. There are so many straw man arguments here. Such as, 'do you complain about boys wearing low slung trousers showing their underpants?' Well, it looks stupid to most older people, but it's not actually showing their meat and two veg is it? So no, apart from making themselves look ridiculous to perhaps 70% of the population, no harm done.

Why should little girls have to wear shorts over their knickers? And have two layers instead of one? Well, of course they shouldn't have to, but if they're wanting to stand on their heads all playtime with their skirts possibly covering their eyes, then they need to have proper substantial trustworthy pants on. Why? Because if they don't they will be showing their genital parts in the playground, to their peers and teachers and any passers by. And surely, that's not an ideal situation for the children, their parents, their teachers, and any passers by.

I'd never heard of Petit Bateau, but having googled, they look like the sort of substantial reliable knicker that won't require any extra coverage. However, there are lots of cheap girls' supermarket pants that nowadays have very narrow and undefined gussets, and quickly lose elasticity. These are the pants that require some back up coverage. Teachers are seeing it. TAs are seeing it. I've seen it first hand. It's becoming an issue. And if a school identifies a need to make a rule, they have to make it for everybody.
Five years old is not too young to begin to learn that showing one's genitalia by accident is not ideal, and easily avoidable. Not because it might inflame the desires of others. Or even that it's immodest. It just becomes less dignified the older you get. And the learning has to start somewhere. When children can read fluently by age five, or solve hard sums, their parents are justifiably proud of their child's advanced intellect. But suggest that they might try to begin to instil a modicum of social awareness into their five year old daughter and it's an insult. An affront. She's just a child, after all.
Yes, she's a child now. So start to teach her about the world, not how we would like it to be, but how it is.

A pp hit the nail on the head about this thread. It's about the quality of kids' knickers nowadays. They are flimsy, elasticity goes after a couple of washes. This becomes really obvious when you have a class of 30 cross-legged in front of you. So they 'really' have to do something about it, and make a rule. And the rule has to apply to everybody.

I don't know who the fuck brought 'feminism' into this.
It's absolutely nothing to do with 'feminism' It's got more to do with teaching your child some personal dignity. Son or daughter.
My neighbour's young son had an embarrassing episode at gym when he'd forgotten his sports shorts (which have a little net thing for testicle control) and his testes were on show. He was only eight, but it really upset him. His mates were making fun of him at the time, but fortunately he's a popular boy and he fronted it out so it was soon forgotten.

I'd like to think that all the mothers who think undershorts not necessary are the mothers who buy proper and substantial school-worthy knickers for their daughters. In which case I would agree.
Shorts on top of a pair of good quality knickers would be totally daft.
But not every child has that luxury of knicker. So they have to make a sweeping rule to cover those with inferior knickers.

(Why is it a 'pair' of knickers? A pair of pants? A pair of trousers?
There is only one item of clothing. Why is it a pair?'

Timeisslippingaway · 21/06/2018 00:00

MagicNumberyThings

Absolutely, excellent post!

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