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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To boast about getting a First?

133 replies

TheGlaikitRambler · 19/06/2018 13:00

Found out today that I got a First in my degree. I went back to uni as a mature student with 3 kids and it has been hard work, but I did it.
My DM has asked me not to boast on FB or post about it because it will upset my sisters, who didn't go to uni (didn't mention my brother who also didn't go!). I want to share my hard-won success on there though. I have spoken to my sisters, they all seem happy for me and have no idea what our DM is on about. They were all clever enough to go to uni but for various reasons chose not to.
Would it be unreasonable of me to ignore her request?

OP posts:

PoodlesOfFund · 19/06/2018 14:01

Meh. I don't really see why you need to share it on FB but that's just me. I got a First but didn't even got to the ceremony (in all fairness I was working abroad).

You got a first, or you got a first with three kids? Because there is a fucking huge massive difference. Either way it's not a competition to see who gives less of a shit is it?

Well done OP, your children must be so proud!

PoodlesOfFund · 19/06/2018 14:02

I find boasting about anything a bit vulgar tbh. Why can't you just be quietly proud of yourself?

Does three years of hard work not warrant a bit of attention?

Juells · 19/06/2018 14:03

it's not boasting to post about an achievement that you've worked hard for.

Juells · 19/06/2018 14:04

"Woman! Know your place!"

ChuffingNorah · 19/06/2018 14:04

Totally agree poodles. Massive congratulations OP. Anyone who isn't delighted for you has their own issues. Post away.

AlsoAppearing · 19/06/2018 14:05

You got a First. Fantastic. Tell everyone.

IsaidMrDarcynotArsey · 19/06/2018 14:09

Congratulations on your first. Well done.

allflownthenest · 19/06/2018 14:11

Be proud of your achievements, boast away

Mia1415 · 19/06/2018 14:18

Congratulations! Ignore her and boast away. Anyone that really cares for you should be delighted. Its a major achievement and very hard work.

I got a first and I'm still incredibly proud of it now. I worked damn hard for that and it wasn't easy.

GetOffTheTableMabel · 19/06/2018 14:18

I think that’s an odd reaction from your DM. You have successful sisters with decent careers. Why would she think that they’d be jealous? You’re almost 40, you have 3 children. It’s rather controlling to try and influence your FB posts. I think your DM should be unequivocally proud of you. This is one of those moments that should be ALL about you. It sounds as though you have a lot of people who are proud of you. Shake your DM’s reaction off & enjoy your moment. Congratulations.

IHaveBrilloHair · 19/06/2018 14:19

Boast away, that's a fabulous achievement and you worked hard for it

SomeDyke · 19/06/2018 14:21

As I always tell my students, boast away. Go to the degree ceremony and get everyone to make an even bigger fuss of you. Although I'm a uni lecturer, I didn't go to my graduation ceremonies at the time (my dad had 'issues'). My wife insisted, so I've now graduated (twice), and my wife and Mum had a brilliant time. Despite my career, made me realise how much I had missed being congratulated by family and friends at the time.

So go for it! Tell everyone and share the photos from your graduation ceremony.

honeyishrunkthekid · 19/06/2018 14:23

I got a first. I didn't post it, but boy I wish I had. Don't know why I didn't. It's my achievement to share with Facebook friends.

Go for it OP

KurriKurri · 19/06/2018 14:25

Huge congratulations - well done you, you should be very proud of yourself.

And ignore your Mum - it is your news to share where and to whom you wish.

Can't see why your sisters would be jealous, I'd have thought they'd be happy for you. My son didn't go to uni (he's done very well in another field) but he was thrilled to bits for his sister when she got her degree. He came to her graduation and cheered louder than anyone when she went up to get her degree.

I think you should start putting 'TheGlaikitRambler BA/BSc' on everything your Mum is likely to see

Trinity66 · 19/06/2018 14:28

Big Congrats to you, it's not your mothers place to dictate what you can and can't post on FB either (unless it concerns her I suppose)

SomeDyke · 19/06/2018 14:30

The thing about a degree result (given that our students will be getting theirs soon) is that it requires consistent, sustained effort across a number of years. Whatever your final result, getting a degree at all requires a lot of intense effort. Getting a first, it's not something people get cos they had 'a lucky day/week' at finals or whatever. Even if people only just get over the first borderline (at my uni at least), it's not luck either -- since usually there is a borderline region, and people get promoted to a first despite their overall mark not being quite there, provided the distribution of marks etc merits a first.

You have to have a record of sufficient high-quality results across the board to get a first. It really is something to be extremely proud of, and something you should boast about!

Being a mature student with kids, even more so! You weren't just a school-leaver following everyone else.................

Semster · 19/06/2018 14:31

My sister just got a First and wouldn't put it on Facebook so I did it for her. So proud!

Well done TheGlaikitRambler!

HollowTalk · 19/06/2018 14:31

It's a celebration, not boasting. She should be really proud of you. Getting any degree with three children is hard enough, but to get a First is amazing. Congratulations!

mcfifi · 19/06/2018 14:31

So glad you decided to post news of your First on fb. It’s a spectacular achievement, especially with 3 children.

When my DD got a First, I posted on fb, emailed everyone I knew, wrote to the Head of her old school and sent a graduation pic to the local paper, which they printed, so the whole county knew about it.

Many congratulations to you. You’re a star!

Forfolkssake · 19/06/2018 14:35

I too have a first but I didn't put it on Facebook because it's immodest and cringe-worthy. I told my family and close friends and they were thrilled for me. Why would anyone else care?

auntiebasil · 19/06/2018 14:36

Well done. I have extra respect for people who go back to education. You're brilliant.

Sunbeam18 · 19/06/2018 14:36

What an achievement, well done! Boast away!

AnElderlyLadyOfMediumHeight · 19/06/2018 14:40

'Meh'? 'Vulgar'? FFS!

I'm not really the shout-it-from-the-rooftops type myself, tbh, and I put very little on Facebook, but sometimes I can't help feeling we Brits really, really hate success, especially success celebrated. Would it kill you to say well done rather than joining with the OP's mother in souring things?

A First with three children is a great achievement, OP. Well done.

GirlsBlouse17 · 19/06/2018 14:42

I was going to say post it but you already have! I think the context is sharing some wonderful news that you are proud of rather than boasting. You must have worked incredibly hard as getting a first is not easy to do and doing it all while bringing up kids is tough going. Well done you! You definitely have gained a big achievement that you should be proud of. That will stay with you always no matter what. Just ignore any family politics. You are entitled to post on Facebook and tell the world about it! Congratulations! 😃

BagelGoesWalking · 19/06/2018 14:44

Huge congratulations!! Such an amazing advisement and with 3 DC, I can't imagine how hard you must have worked.

Glad you posted and your siblings are happy for you.

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