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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To boast about getting a First?

133 replies

TheGlaikitRambler · 19/06/2018 13:00

Found out today that I got a First in my degree. I went back to uni as a mature student with 3 kids and it has been hard work, but I did it.
My DM has asked me not to boast on FB or post about it because it will upset my sisters, who didn't go to uni (didn't mention my brother who also didn't go!). I want to share my hard-won success on there though. I have spoken to my sisters, they all seem happy for me and have no idea what our DM is on about. They were all clever enough to go to uni but for various reasons chose not to.
Would it be unreasonable of me to ignore her request?

OP posts:
stevie69 · 19/06/2018 13:44

Shout it from the rooftops; you deserve it Smile

Well done, you.

Leeds2 · 19/06/2018 13:44

In all honesty, I would cringe if I read such a post on FB. But I would still be pleased for you, and DM's reason not to post because it would upset your sisters is ridiculous.

Myheartbelongsto · 19/06/2018 13:44

If one of my children achieved a first I would shout it from the roof tops!

Well done op what amazing achievement especially with 3 children.

TheGlaikitRambler · 19/06/2018 13:44

I think it is jealousy on her part, she feels really unfulfilled with her life at the moment. My sisters have all been more successful than me, having great jobs that they had to train for while I was a SAHM. "Boast" was my DMs word, not mine.
At almost 40, I am very proud to have finally achieved the academic success that I missed out on in my 20s.

OP posts:
DiddimusStench · 19/06/2018 13:45

I got a 2:1 under similar circumstances. I celebrated boasted, whatever like the world was going to end tomorrow. And then o had a big fuck off party that o organised for myself Grin no one batted an eyelid and joined in merrily.

If they can’t be happy for you because of their own hang ups, they’ve got bigger problems than choosing not to go to uni.

Congratulations!!!

PositiveVibez · 19/06/2018 13:45

Go for it. You have worked bloody hard for it. I would be so happy for my sister and would be telling everyone as o would be so proud!!!!!!! Your mum is being silly.

Congrats OP Flowers Wine

clumsyduck · 19/06/2018 13:45

I'm in a Similair position to you so I know how much hard work this has been for you and you want to show it off , I think it's different to when you graduate at a "normal" age and will naturally compare results with your peers .

I don't have Facebook so not sure whether I'd put something like that online personally but I can understand you wanting to !!

Well done op massive congrats Flowers

Jaxhog · 19/06/2018 13:46

Isn't it funny that it's only 'boasting' when you are not the person doing it. Be proud, you deserve it.

TheStoic · 19/06/2018 13:47

In all honesty, I would cringe if I read such a post on FB.

Why, in all seriousness? I absolutely LOVE hearing about this sort of stuff.

velourvoyageur · 19/06/2018 13:47

Amazing! Enjoy it Flowers so impressive you managed this with 3 kids.

A v. cynical explanation might be that your DM is a little jealous and doesn't want to see people making a big fuss of you. Would be a pity but if she didn't have the chance to go into HE she could be feeling sorry for herself.

Also, I love seeing people post about stuff like this on FB. It's happy news.

Ifonlyus · 19/06/2018 13:47

Gosh yes - Go for it. It's so hard to study once you have children. To achieve a First is a great achievement and you deserve to declare that you feel proud of yourself after the hard work you have put in. Congratulations OP.

TheGlaikitRambler · 19/06/2018 13:47

Thanks for the congratulations!
I have now posted about it on FB and one of the first to congratulate me was my sister. I hope my DM is secretly pleased, I would be bursting with pride if one of my children did.

OP posts:
The80sweregreat · 19/06/2018 13:48

well done! my son is waiting on his results but nothing yet!
good for you though and hope you do well in your career.

Hissy · 19/06/2018 13:49

Good for you! your mum sounds jealous and resentful of you.

mine was the same. look at this as a wake up call.

wizzywig · 19/06/2018 13:50

Woohoo!! Well done. Boast here!

emsiewill · 19/06/2018 13:51

My DBro and DSis both got Firsts as mature students. I got a 2.2 as a "immature" student who took the cliche path of drinking and partying. I am very proud of them both and never miss an opportunity to tell people about it (like right now!).

Congratulations to you and boast away!

xoguineas · 19/06/2018 13:52

Boast away, well done you! I just got a 2:1 from staying at uni after giving birth at January and I've not shut up about it. A First is an amazing achievement Wine

Mookatron · 19/06/2018 13:52

It hardly even counts as boasting to say 'I tried really hard at something and did really well'. We don't celebrate ourselves enough. Well done! Flowers

MariaMadita · 19/06/2018 13:53

YABU.

Congratulations Flowers

MariaMadita · 19/06/2018 13:53

YA N BU

dupainduvin · 19/06/2018 13:55

yanbu - it is inspiring that you did that as a mature student with DC - inspire more people to try a bit harder. That is NOT boasting.

Chapterandverse · 19/06/2018 13:57

One of my fb friends have just posted about graduating with a first!

We're all delighted for her - and from what I can see her sisters have all congratulated her too and not a word of jealousy on her thread. She has worked so hard for this and deserves it.

It's hard work as a mature student - I did it too from 27-30. My mum probably still couldn't tell you what my degree was in (she has Alzheimer's now but even without that she wouldn't have known Wink) and I am the only person in my family went to uni too.

BottleOfJameson · 19/06/2018 13:58

I cringe sometimes at boasty Facebook posts but only the people who are CONSTANTLY boasting about the same things. Like one woman I know is very rich and always posting about a new luxury car or the posh hotel room she's staying at. I think a one off achievement like this is totally different. You must have worked bloody hard and be delighted with yourself.

Luxembourgmama · 19/06/2018 13:59

Boast away. Well done!

AbsolutelyBeginning · 19/06/2018 14:00

Well done, OP! Star

It's also great to hear your sisters are supportive of you and not at all jealous of you.

I may be projecting here, but is your DM the divide-and-conquer type amongst you children? I also wonder why she didn't mention your brother in all this. Strange.