How the hell are you meant to "qualify" for sterilisation?!

[MsFrizzle]

I'm in my 20s. Never had a child and I don't want one - I don't have the energy. I'm disabled and I have endometriosis so I'm likely unable to have children but the risk is still very much there (not everybody with endo is infertile and my doctor who diagnosed me said that it's not the end of the world and may be possible even as an accident). I went today to discuss my issues and that I'd like a saplingectomy and that I've thoroughly considered my options and the future. I was told I wouldn't be considered unless I was above 40 (which seems odd as pregnancy can begin to become difficult after 40-45 from what I've heard) or if I already had a child. I was also told to consider my future partners!

The point is I can't handle a child, physically (disabilities) or mentally (depression, suicidal tendencies and GAD), and while I'm pro-choice I don't desire an abortion! Has anybody navigated this before? Second opinions are difficult as there's very few doctors in the area I live in.

I've had a pregnancy scare before and I'd not like to go through it again.

Postymalone

If you’d actually bothered to read my previous post you’d see I had covered that.

Just to assist you though, I’ll post again

I need sterilisation for a medical issue and not contraception. I’m infertile

If it’s a genuine medical issue I’m sure they’ll help.

@Postymalone

I’m in my 6th year of fighting to get this done, so you’re absolutely wrong.

jacqueshammer I didn’t see that thread. But no I’m not sure it should be. We are very lucky to have the NHS so that anyone regardless of finances can get essential treatment, but there just isn’t the money for every non essential procedure to be on the NHS. People should have to pay themselves for non essentials if they want them, same with everything in life

People should have to pay themselves for non essentials if they want them, same with everything in life

That I agree with (and thank you for answering!). I have a condition which gives me exemption for paying for prescriptions. Except I don’t need the exemption so pay for non-related prescriptions.

It’s then really gauling to know you can’t access a procedure that would make such a difference to your quality of life because “I might change my mind”.

@ThatEscalatedQuickly

the only time I saw a study of UK women was in a magazine and I now can't find any links. The main noticeable finding was that of the tiny percentage of women who regret it, it was something like 80%+ of those regretters were those who already had children, not those who had decided to be childfree.

I really wish I could find it...grr.....

as with many medical studies, part of the problem is they often don't collate stats on women afterwards. I have a relative in the medical profession, she's in her 70s, and she reckons it's become harder for women to get sterilised now because the stereotype of "woman = parent" has become much more entrenched.

You should be able to be sterilised if you want to. Your body, your choice. I had no problems getting a vasectomy when I was 32, no one batted an eye lid. None of this 'what if you changed your mind' crap.

ThatEscalatedQuickly - This is an older study but it states most women do not regret being sterilised. However, women who had been sterilised under the age of thirty are more likely to regret their decision.

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/10362150/

Racoon100 "People should have to pay themselves for non essentials if they want them, same with everything in life"

there's that, but in that case we wouldn't be funding IVF and viagra!

I'd be interested to see some figures on the cost of sterilisation vs the cost of hormonal contraception for say, 30 years.

This newer study from 2016 claims that 28% of US women regret being sterilised though.

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5267553/

I do believe that you should have the choice though as it’s your body.

The way some of you have been treated is appalling. Sterilisation must surely be cheaper or equivalent in cost to the NHS than a lifetime of free short term, LARC, births following unplanned pregnancy or abortions.

I got one 18 months ago without question. Aged 34 then, 2 DC. We used condoms pre-op but I lived in constant fear of pregnancy, following one traumatic birth and one enormous baby (11b 7oz). I don't think I even mentioned those in the consultation as my reasons.

I made it clear I wasn't going to consider hormonal options, LARC or Essure. I also made it clear I would have an abortion if I were to conceive again which would cost the NHS just as much.

I wasn't asked what my DH thought or what I'd do if my DC died.

Maybe my demeanour was such that they thought it was a fucking good thing that I'd be prevented from reproducing further?

I had no problems.

I told me gp during a phone consultation I wanted one, he said ok I'll refere you.

I told the consultant I wanted one. She said how about a coil? I said no thank you I want to be steralised. She said what if your children die? I said she said I know but I have to ask. She then said what if you split up and get a new partner who wants children, I said but I don't so it would be tough.

A couple of months later my tubes were tied.

Lighthouse i remember reading that.

thanks Helena - it was from, say, after 2010 and was considered a more up to date UK study than any others, I'm fairly sure. Might have been family member's copy of BMJ or something.....still can't find it, argh....

having had a look online just now, I have a feeling "what if your children die" is one of the stock questions they are supposed to ask you.

has anyone ever asked a man that question?!

...something like 80%+ of those regretters were those who already had children, not those who had decided to be childfree.

But what proportion of women sterilised had already had children? Given that so many stories on this thread concern healthcare practitioners refusing to sterilise childless women, I wouldn't be at all surprised if 80% of women sterilised had had children, so stats like that would be the inevitable result!

Because there are women that change their mind, albeit probably a small percentage. The Docs cannot predict which of these women will do, so err on the side of caution. If you need one for medical reasons then I can't see why the Docs are dragging their heels @JacquesHammer although they need to make anyone having this kind of surgery aware of the risks (eg bowel perforation etc).

ive had dental work, counselling, antidepressants, the pill, the coil, abortion, childbirth, pelvic floor repair appointments, eye appointments, mole removal, psychotherapy, mindfulness, anxiety groups, autism assessments, all sorts of non-lifesaving non-emergency treatments on the NHS, as well as sterilisation. Probably a lot more than that all in all

Is this just another frivolous womens issue that we are supposed to feel guilty about now?

NHS....................."what if you change your mind

Right wingers..........."you should only have children if you can afford it"

@ShawshanksRedemption

I’m tied up in knots by my PCT but in short, sterilisation is the last resort after trial of Mirena. Although I agreed (with massive reservations) to try this, they now won’t fit one because of my other condition. We’re literally in a “computer says no” point right now, because they can’t “tick” that I’ve tried Mirena 🙄

Jesus wept! The OP is an adult woman of sound mind making a pretty darn sensible choice about her life. Of course it should be funded.

I'd argue not if we funded no elective procedures but we do, so why not this? It seems perfectly fair to me!

I kind of wish I’d asked for them to tie my tubes when I had my section, it wasn’t an emergency but I was only given the booklet the day before and it slipped my mind with all the issues DC2 had.

Though DH got his vasectomy quite easily. Appointment with the doctors on the Monday, and referred. Took a cancellation and had it done the Friday the following week.

They’re not strictly rationed everywhere.

my mum changed her mind years after her sterilisation. She tried to have it reversed (on the NHS - shock) it didnt work. She got on with her life.

I was told quite categorically that reversals rarely work, and would not be provided.

Casper, yes, I totally see your point

you mean the number of women who were sterilised were mostly mothers. The thing about the study was that it went into a lot of detail so I think it's fair to say that women who were childfree were substantially less likely to regret it than mothers...it did it in proper % terms.

I have to go to work but I'll have another bash at finding the study tomorrow.