How the hell are you meant to "qualify" for sterilisation?!

[MsFrizzle]

I'm in my 20s. Never had a child and I don't want one - I don't have the energy. I'm disabled and I have endometriosis so I'm likely unable to have children but the risk is still very much there (not everybody with endo is infertile and my doctor who diagnosed me said that it's not the end of the world and may be possible even as an accident). I went today to discuss my issues and that I'd like a saplingectomy and that I've thoroughly considered my options and the future. I was told I wouldn't be considered unless I was above 40 (which seems odd as pregnancy can begin to become difficult after 40-45 from what I've heard) or if I already had a child. I was also told to consider my future partners!

The point is I can't handle a child, physically (disabilities) or mentally (depression, suicidal tendencies and GAD), and while I'm pro-choice I don't desire an abortion! Has anybody navigated this before? Second opinions are difficult as there's very few doctors in the area I live in.

I've had a pregnancy scare before and I'd not like to go through it again.

It's an unfortunate part of the system as set up in the U.K. that it can't cover the costs of elective procedures. I know that you want this for clear and important reasons but, as there are other options out there, it will be seen as elective.

I'm not in the UK and if you wanted that procedure here you'd have to pay. I do envy the system in the UK but I understand it can't cover everything.

A 17 year old who has been so damaged by our culture's expectations and abuse of people who have wombs that they reject this part of their body utterly is trusted to know her own mind and not expected to entertain the possibility that further maturity and experience or the wishes of a future partner might ever make them change their mind.

"It's an unfortunate part of the system as set up in the U.K. that it can't cover the costs of elective procedures."

What, any of them?

I had an elective procedure on nhs, not sterilisation.

The NHS is stretched, there’s no money for things which aren’t essential. This isn’t essential, you have many choices. Use contraception (condoms, spermicide etc if you don’t want the pill), pay privately, or even just don’t have sex if you’re that worried. The NHS isn’t there to fund everyone’s wants.

Are condoms and spermicide beyond you?

Is there a reason you're being so rude?

Condoms are the reason I had a pregnancy scare in the first place. Many condoms also contain dairy so it's not so much a 'nip to the shop and grab some' thing.

Do they give a sterilisation procedure as standard for trans patients Imchlibob or are you refer to the hormone treatment which can cause sterility? The OP has already ruled out hormonal options.

They should be handing out sterilisation like sweeties on the nhs so they have fewer deliveries to fund! I can imagine snipping women is cheaper than csections, premature birth care etc etc etc

Another vote for telling your gp you identify as male and need an urgent sterilisation.

Then conveniently change you= mind when you have had the sterilisation op but before you have any other procedures scheduled...

Was supposed to be all elective procedures Sardine, fair catch.

The NHS isn’t there to fund everyone’s wants

I’d be interested to get your opinions on the thread where an OP asked if viagra should be available on the NHS. Whilst I appreciate there’s a difference in cost, the overwhelming conclusion was sex is a right and yes it should.

Do you hate women Posty ?

It's cheaper for the country to pay for the OP's desired sterilisation than pay for her care through an unwanted pregnancy and birth - a cesarean section, which 25% of births end up as, alone would cost more - let alone the lifelong ordinary medical care for that child potentially also through pregnancies, giving birth and old age...

But the doctor performing such surgery has their own ethical position to consider.

it is one of my bugbears

but also it's not that difficult for women above 40 to get pregnant - one of the reasons the abortion rate is so high in that age group is that damn myth which seems to be based on very old stats anyway.

in your case, I think your age will go against you which is crazy - no one would question your lifetime commitment to your choice if you decided to have a child.

it is blatant sexism.

'I was told "well what if your children all die? "

Dear god. How bloody stupid and offensive. It's like the idea of a woman without a child is just TOO weird to contemplate!

I hear you OP. I wanted to be sterilised in my late 20s. My GP was very kind but basically told me I had no chance. Ten years later, I still haven't had children and won't be having any either. I could have had the last 10 years free of artificial hormones, and no doubt saved the NHS money, if only they had listened to me

She hasn't even got as far as the surgeon I wouldn't have thought.

I believe that if you are a doctor and you go into female reproductive health then you need to be up for performing all porcedures that are legal in this country.

Local hosp had real probs with abortion due to number of docs saying they wouldn't do it on ethical grounds (or so my mum said).

I don't think GPs or chemists should be allowed to give their "I can't do this for you as it contravenes my ethics aka you are evil" stuff either.

Some posters on here seem to have a problem. Sterilisation is offered on the NHS and is cheaper in the long term than the issues myself and other women have had with hormonal contraception, giving birth and multiple terminations.

OP I've found if you go into consultations with a friend/acquaintance HCPs are more careful about talking shit. So ask again and specifically why you aren't allowed it until a particular age. If guidelines are mentioned ask who wrote the guidelines that way you can confirm yourself situations like yours are in the list where it is acceptable.

Postymalone "Are condoms and spermicide beyond you?"

I would say if you don't want to get pregnant, always use 2 methods, but I wouldn't count those as two.

Does anyone know what the refusal on age grounds is based on? Is there any evidence of a high proportion of those having sterilisation procedures returning later for reversal treatment or IVF etc due to regrets? Perhaps they also base it on the number of men seeking reversals of vasectomies which is about 5% in the US.

Which doesn't seem that high really.

Mid twenties after one I was refused by my GP (GP: but what if this one dies? Me: DC is not a dog that you just go out and replace!!!!).

Mid fifties now and I never did have a second child. DP managed to get a vasectomy. Eventually.....

I’m also allergic to dairy. Condoms are and can be free.
Local GUM clinics will provide condoms for free in bulk.
Spermicide, a diaphragm, there are options. You just don’t want them. And you can’t stamp your feet until you get a sterilisation. It doesn’t work like that.

@Postymalone

Although I’m not the OP nothing I can get from a GUM clinic will work for me.

So yes, I should be able to access a necessary medical procedure on the NHS because without it I can’t get the treatment I need

This is my pet hate!

I am only now getting one (this week!) at the age of 44 despite asking since my mid 20's.

I've mentioned it before on here, but I got to the stage where I was fed up of being patronized by middle aged men who just couldn't understand I knew my own mind. If I had the money I would have done it 20 years ago.

As it is, I still had to get extremely assertive before they would agree. Believe me, if I had been this confident years ago, it would have been done before!

It's so frustrating, patronising and annoying. It still gives me the rage that I had to go through years of pain and heavy bleeding before someone took me seriously.

@jacqueshammer so NOTHING from a GUM clinic can help you? Not one form of contraception? Not a barrier method? Nothing whatsoever? Yeah right

Condoms...or if you're really scared of the condom failing; condoms combined with those whole 'am I fertile' tracker things.

There are options...lots of them.