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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think these belong to me now ?

96 replies

booksNstuff · 17/06/2018 12:38

10 years ago I moved into my house
My mother decided to de clutter and moved ALL of the children’s books from her home to mine. We’re talking THOUSANDS

Was a bit of a pain tbh as they were dumped in boxes but actually a lot of lovely books so we got a massive bookcase and kids love them
Anyway she’s now decided she wants certain ones back in drive and drabs for other grandchildren and when she pops round she’s there trying to sneakily take books.
Some are now also worth a lot and she’s asked for specific ones back.
She told me at the time she no longer wanted them now it’s looking like we were a book storage facility ?

Do I tell her to get lost ? That they are my dcs now ?

OP posts:
Fluffypinkpyjamas · 17/06/2018 12:39

They’re yours. Tell her where to go Grin

19lottie82 · 17/06/2018 12:40

She told me at the time she no longer wanted them

YANBU but (unless there is a back story) is it really a big deal to let her take some? She’s your Mum.

honeysucklejasmine · 17/06/2018 12:40

Make her an invoice for storage fees. 😂

sexnotgender · 17/06/2018 12:40

Tell her to bugger off.

Original poster
booksNstuff · 17/06/2018 12:40

Well yes as the ones she wants my youngest is same age as who she wants to take them for !!

OP posts:
Original poster
booksNstuff · 17/06/2018 12:42

The ones that are worth a lot too she’s after. Their sentimental value is worth more to me and she gave them to us !!

OP posts:
ArmySal · 17/06/2018 12:42

Yours, definitely. Storage for 10 years is taking the piss.

Bambamber · 17/06/2018 12:44

YANBU they are yours. I would keep an eye on her when at yours to make sure none of them go missing

stayathomegardener · 17/06/2018 12:47

Yours definitely.

Dd has never read a book by choice as has dyslexia and Irlens, we read to her constantly as a child, all our childhood books that parents gave to us.

Having a massive clear out recently and asked dd 19 which she wanted to keep.

I was amazed that she elected to keep almost all of them and that's as a non reader.

Your children will have a real sentimental attachment to them and want to hand them down.

If they go to others you will never get them back.

Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 17/06/2018 12:50

Tell her to sod off they are yours now if she wanted to keep them then she should’ve done 10 years ago.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 17/06/2018 12:54

My father does this. Gives people stuff then, when he see an opportunity to be Mr Generous elsewhere, comes back for it and gives it to someone else. He did the same throughout my childhood, favourite toys just disappeared, to reappear next door, with a cousin etc.

"Sod Off" was the last response he got from me!

phlewf · 17/06/2018 12:55

My mum gave me furniture when I moved house. Got round to doing up the spare room and mentioned it was going. Suddenly it was only a loan of the furniture and while she didn’t want it back I couldnt throw it out.

Birdsgottafly · 17/06/2018 12:57

Can't you do a book swap between the Cousins?

Gemini69 · 17/06/2018 12:58

No chance.. the books were given to you .. they belong to YOU Flowers

BettyBaggins · 17/06/2018 13:00

I see books like this as a family thing, to be kept and shared. You all own them. Tell Mum she can have some but get your little one to choose their favs. Has Mum got financial probs?

Inertia · 17/06/2018 13:01

I'd tell her no- she gave them to you and they belong to you and your children.

SayNoToCarrots · 17/06/2018 13:01

Phlewf my mum does that - gives me things, sometimes things I don't want, and doesn't want me to alter them in any way or get rid of them but also doesn't want them back. I mentioned I was painting a chair and she got the hump. Sometimes I wait til she's out and return things.

Aridane · 17/06/2018 13:05

Did she give them to you or asked you to store the, for her?

AnElderlyLadyOfMediumHeight · 17/06/2018 13:07

They're yours now. Remind her that this was 10 years ago, that she told you she didn't want them any more, that you were convenient when she wanted to get rid of them, and that you and your children own them now.

(Declaration of interest: I have a terrible children's book habit and have acquired some wonderful ones over the years, many of them bought at second-hand shops and sales, which you would have to prise out of my cold dead hands. So there is only ever one way I could pronounce on this. But even without that, I still think your mother is taking the piss)

Juells · 17/06/2018 13:09

Yours

AjasLipstick · 17/06/2018 13:09

YANBU.

My SIL briefly took over my PIL"s house when they worked in another country.

When they returned, she'd thrown out an entire, huge collection of children's books from MIL's childhood!

Those books are still mourned and although I never saw them, I'm bitter that my kids can't read them!

BewareOfDragons · 17/06/2018 13:09

Tell her she gave them to you and she can't have them back.

ooodile · 17/06/2018 13:11

Tell her she can none or take them all. Leave her with thousands of books to remove and find new storage for.

LannieDuck · 17/06/2018 13:14

Are far as your Mum's concerned, they're yours now.

...however is it your siblings who now have kids? Did any of the books originally belong to them instead of you? I think those you should probably relinquish. Esp any that were childhood favourites of theirs.

onalongsabbatical · 17/06/2018 13:15

AjasLipstick I'm surprised your SIL is still alive!