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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think these belong to me now ?

96 replies

booksNstuff · 17/06/2018 12:38

10 years ago I moved into my house
My mother decided to de clutter and moved ALL of the children’s books from her home to mine. We’re talking THOUSANDS

Was a bit of a pain tbh as they were dumped in boxes but actually a lot of lovely books so we got a massive bookcase and kids love them
Anyway she’s now decided she wants certain ones back in drive and drabs for other grandchildren and when she pops round she’s there trying to sneakily take books.
Some are now also worth a lot and she’s asked for specific ones back.
She told me at the time she no longer wanted them now it’s looking like we were a book storage facility ?

Do I tell her to get lost ? That they are my dcs now ?

OP posts:

Sparklyglitter · 18/06/2018 18:01

Bloody cheek! Just say no!

FizzyGreenWater · 18/06/2018 18:24

Sod Off is the phrase.

How dare she try and 'sneakily take books'.

Hide the valuable ones and tell her you've done it. And be blunt. She lost ownership a long time ago.

Pretty low behaviour!

BevBrook · 18/06/2018 18:29

Are they really valuable though? My mum occasionally thinks a book or record she has is worth a fortune and when you look, there's something specific about the one that is worth a fortune which is not the same as her copy. Or Amazon will list some used books at ridiculous prices, I am not sure why, but then will have other copies for £4. I remember looking for But Where Is The Green Parrot about eight years ago and it was some ridiculous price second-hand; now it's 75p on Abebooks.

mogonfoxnight · 18/06/2018 18:31

Go through every book and write in it your name and then "birthday, age 6" in your left hand, and you can then pretend they were originally all yours.

Wendycastle · 18/06/2018 18:32

Ensure that favourites are taken out a d suggest that siblings bring their children over to choose some themselves. My DS would be very upset if he suddenly lost some of his books, despite having more than I can count. There are some that he doesnt have the interest in and we can winkle those out eventually...

I took my favourite childhood books out of parents attic years before having DS and have them still. My siblings didn't seem to have the same feelings about them even with those that we had shared when younger. Suggest it would be better for the neice /nephews to come choose their own...

kateandme · 18/06/2018 18:35

they are yours.mum just told my gran "you are not getting rid of them" end of lol.and this was old stuff in grans house.so if she has given them to you then no no no there is no question she doesn't get to decide what happens to them now.

Wendycastle · 18/06/2018 18:36

Some books can be bizarrely expensive. There is one that annoyingly I can't find (wanted to read to DS) that loved so looked it up to buy again, it's out of print and would cost me £150 for a battered copy! Bloody typical that's the one, I'm now thinking maybe one of the siblings had something to do with it! It wasn't even that old a book, just happens to be sought after I guess

SarahLove · 18/06/2018 18:39

Ouch, families!

Fizzymama · 18/06/2018 19:31

HRFT - this point probably already been made, what would she have done if you hadn't had the room to store them for 10 years and you had got rid of them? She wouldn't be able to get them back now she's changed her mind !!

Pumpkinbell · 18/06/2018 19:34

Too late imo she gave them to you when you stored them for such along time. Dont let her take them. As you say if you niece/nephew would like to borrow ( only if they return) then I would allow that but only on a 1 in 1 out basis! Can you not move them to an attic room where M wont be able to reach??? Feel for you

Chocolate50 · 18/06/2018 19:47

they're yours, tell her not to take any more as she gave them to you 10 years ago

TigerTooth · 18/06/2018 19:55

Just put all the nice/valuesble ones away and tell her she can take the rest but the ones you've removed you want to keep, they are totally yours . Is it your sibling whose putting pressure on her to get them?

winniestone37 · 18/06/2018 20:02

Yeah it's cheeky but it's your mum give them to her.

winniestone37 · 18/06/2018 20:10

Low??? It's her Mum!! Low is so much more than this. You lot are very odd.

TigerTooth · 18/06/2018 20:14

My mum gave all my books to my cousin when she was born - some genuinely are very valuable now - early beatrix potter in ex- display wooden hand painted bookcase, little black sambo - now obviously out of print etc etc.
Also lots of collectible Star wars toys in boxes.
My uncle has them all bubble wrapped in loft storage - my books and brothers toys!
We regret that she gave them away - but she did and we would NEVER ask for them back.

Charlie354 · 18/06/2018 20:16

I agree Bettybaggins and I’m surprised at the selfishness of some MNers. She’s your mum OP be kind.

Aprilshouldhavebeenmyname · 18/06/2018 20:20

So op should snatch her dc's books off them because dgm is spitting her dummy out?
Yeah right.
Fucking not .

manicmij · 18/06/2018 22:07

Would ask why she wanted you to have them in the first place as it seems she has given them on loan. Unless she agrees they are yours tell her you want her to take the lot as you are not a lending library. YANBU

olbndansmummy · 18/06/2018 22:40

@Wendy castle
Tell the mn library, maybe one of us is sitting on a copy!
Op, if you can keep the ones your dc really couldn't be parted from and put any others that could be passed on, dm might be mollified! Can she honestly recall every single book she passed to you a decade ago?

Biblio78 · 18/06/2018 22:51

She gave them to you, end of!
I would be annoyed in your shoes because lots of great books I have from childhood are out of print now and I love the fact that my DD can read them. It's important to me having always loved books and I love that he enjoys reading and will just go and grab a book when he fancies reading. Love the fact that he's not constantly playing minecraft

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 18/06/2018 23:16

It would be different if you yourself decided to gift some of them. They are yours now and she cant wander through looking for gifts, its not fair. You are not a book storage facility. f you hadn't stored them for 10 years they'd be gone. You spent time, effort and money on organising a bookcase for them. She gave them to you and that is that.
Make some nice Ex Libris BooksNStff stickers and tell your mum to back off. My family did this to me and I really regret not standing up to them.

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