To think only buying teenagers a children’s meal is crap?

[BinG0wings123]

Ds (15) out with his dad, step mum and her two young teens for lunch today. Again, as soon as he can home his nose was in the fridge as he was only allowed a child’s portion.

He’s 5 foot ten.

They aren’t allowed the adult menu until they are 16.

Bloody bonkers.

@angelichosts - the roast potoato thing was me as well, that was ex h mother!

@kateandme I’ve suggested it for ds birthdays etc but I don’t think that ex wife likes the idea.

But the thing is, we were together for 12 years, and together until ds was 8. Used to eat out regularly and he didn’t have this issue. We used to get a McDonalds on the way back from his parents house! Since he met his wife, he’s turned into a version of his parents so I can only assume she was like that too.

My initial reaction was - that's bonkers...

Then I remembered - childhood obesity epidemic, stupidly large portions in most restaurants, austerity hitting most family's pockets hard (and it was 5 of them went)...

So...depends where they went re portion sizes (also type of food) and price, what else they'd eaten/we're going to eat that day, activity that day, are the DC healthy sizes.

I'm overweight and in most restaurants now a child's meal is more than enough! Especially if having starter/dessert too.

However, healthy weight teen boys also burn a lot of cals...

Conclusion - more info needed.

I also agree children's SERVINGS in restaurants should NOT be different food than the adult menu. I loathe the ubiquitous children's menu of chicken nuggets, fish fingers, sausages with chips and peas/beans or very occasionally a basic pasta dish too not least because I had a child that hated chips! But in addition

(Restaurateurs PLEASE take note several on thread saying same)

It's BORING
It's crap nutritionally
Restaurants should be places where you can have/try things you wouldn't at home - with kids it can be a great way to get them to experiment
Most restaurants adult menus have huge choice for all but the fussiest children there will be something they'll like (and good restaurants can usually adjust for the fussier customers).

Restaurants should just offer half or full portions. I know a lot of adults would prefer to order a half portion, it would also reduce waste.

However, it sounds like there's deeper issues here. Your ex will lose his son if he carries on like this. It's not just the amount of food it's his father not accepting he's older and treating him appropriately for his age!

I had a similar problem with dd. She was being given MUCH smaller portions than she needed (and I MEAN needed she has always been very slim and usually only just into healthy weight rather than underweight) plus even the last time she was at her dads she was early teens and being given plastic bloody dinnerware! Inc cutlery alongside her half siblings (toddlers at this point). I had umpteen discussions with ex to no avail - twice she came home UNDERweight and I was livid!

This along with other but similarly veined issues have made her reluctant to visit - but she would have if he'd asked/arranged - he hasn't in several years.

Are ex and his wife healthy weights? My ex is but slim, his wife is TINY and diets if she gains at all. I suspect an ED. Not based just on appearance but comments she's made and what dd has told me about her eating habits etc.

Agree it's more concerning regarding the children there full time.

That's nuts
And really tight
I'd be having a serious word that's ridiculous x

I feel sorry for her kids, presumably they are being starved all the time and will go mad for food when they get older

DD, age 12, would go mad is given a kids meal and she still just about comes in the age group they are for.

DS is fine with them at, but he is a diddy 11 year old.

A strapping 15 year old, not a chance it would satisfy them!

Ex and his wife are v healthy, both into sports.

I think my MIL (FIL does not cook, but does 'help' by criticising her in the kitchen when she is trying to cook) does one potato per person, but then cut it up into tiny pieces, so it looks more. I tend to not take any potatoes and then when everyone has else has helped themselves, put all the leftover bits of veg on my daughter's plate. They all HAVE to leave something in the bowl so this way she gets a half reasonable amount. Cue many passive aggressive comments about how well she eats. Which she does, so I smile and agree.

That's bonkers and doesn't sound fair on your DS at all. We've been aware for a good 6 months now that my DSD age 11 more often than not needs an adult potion now and she's a slight 11 year old! It can depend on the restaurant (eg I find pizza express kids pasts portion teeny, but GBK more decent) but at 15 and the size of a man that just sounds mean!

This reminds me of some friends of my mum’s (dad couldn’t stand them). We’d all go (me, DM, DF and DB) to their (large and in a very nice area) house, usually on a Sunday afternoon and stay for tea. It was always salad (1 slice ham, half an egg, lettuce each) and me, DB and their DD (aged between 6-9) got 1 bag of crisps to share between us! They weren’t short, just bloody tight. My DM always ended up making sandwiches and toast when we got home!

That’s the thing though isn’t it, he’s the size of a man and still growing. That’s why he needs more food. I don’t understand why they can’t see that. He’s fairly healthy too. I mean, he wouldn’t turn down junk, but he eats a huge range of foods, there’s no fruit or veg he won’t eat.

He’s only an inch shorter than his dad for God’s sake, so I don’t know why he thinks he needs half the amount of food.

Don't most restaurants have a cut off age for the kids menu of 10/11 ish?

Mine haven't eaten off the kids menu since they were in primary school. They'd laugh at the idea. They could both quite easily eat 3 courses and still empty the fridge when we got back. Both are so skinny they practically disappear sideways.
Keep sending him with food, going to bed hungry is horrible.

In answer to your question, it's crap. My teens are taller and more active so need the calories. If their Dad did this I'd be 😡🙄

Ridiculous. Surely everyone knows teenage boys can eat twice as much as an average adult, let alone a child's portion?

Even the NHS agrees:
according to this NHS page an average 15-year-old boy needs 2.820 calories a day, while an adult man only needs 2,500. Maybe send your exH and his wife the links and ask why they are trying to starve your son (and her sons too)?

Yeah, I thought so. Ds has been having adult portions out with me since he was 10/11 so I’ve never noticed the cut off age. Ex h seems to get round them if there are though.

Although my dad is elderly and has ordered a child’s portion before in some places no questions asked.

My oldest at 8 would sometimes have a grown up meal. We didn’t let him pick based on portion size more on what food he actually wanted. The children’s menus really are for toddlers (fish fingers/chicken nuggets/microwave pizza etc) my oldest likes a good curry or proper fish so if that’s what he wanted for dinner he would get the adult menu. It seems completely ridiculous to make a 15yr oldest off the kiddie menu.

I'd send him with money, tell his father exactly why and dare him to give DS shit about it, and the devil take the hindmost.

If that's not an option, I guess by this point DS knows the score so all you can do is keep packing him as much food as you can for any overnights and if it's a 'lunch date' I'd have him eat something hearty before they pick him up, then he can just pick at the lousy kid's meal.

TBH, if I was the child in this, I'd refuse to go visit overnight. I love food too much to willingly go where I knew I would be hungry half the time.

Poor lad, that's so cruel of his dad. I'd argue neglectful too. I wouldn't be encouraging him to spend time there. I'd be encouraging him to tell his dad it's cruel to give the same meal to a toddler as a 15 year old. My five year old devours kids meals.

Never given my toddler anything from the child menu and I won't be doing either. For 1 it's all processed crap with chips and 2 if you're spending money to eat out, then they need to have a proper meal and pudding or their isn't any point is there? Two cheap chicken nuggets and some chips can be bought in McDonald's and eaten in the car back home. Your ex DH is strange as is his GF. I bet all three were still starving afterwards.

And you shouldn't have to provide your sons food when he stays at his dads house. I can't believe they aren't allowed to have snacks. I understand no constant chocolate and sweets but there should always be access to the fruit bowl and crackers/cheese/nuts/yoghurt/oat bars etc.

The new GF is going to seriously mess up her children emotionally when it comes to food, and judging by the comment your DS made on their sizes she's already seriously halted their physical development they should be gaining muscle mass rapidly at their age.

What a strange and sad attitude to food. They’re wasting the chance to spend time together actually enjoying a meal and making your son miserable in the process. I suppose all you can do is keep sending the snacks.
Having seen what my four year old can eat when having a growth spurt, I’m already considering starting a savings account to cover food for his teen years..

You did say that he could eat fruit if he is still hungry. I'd get home to clear out the fruit bowl on a regular basis to show them that he is still hungry.

@Kpo58 eating a lot of fruit can have a laxative effect, if the step mum is that controlling about food she’s probably the type to only allow them 2 squares of loo roll too. I wouldn’t risk it!

YANBU what a dickish thing to do for so many reasons. Firstly he won't get to choose a proper meal just chicken nuggets, fish fingers etc Secondly it obviously isn't enough food, thirdly it's going to make him feel childish as those meals are meant for kids under 10. If they don't want to get him an appropriate meal they should just eat at home.

^dad, step mum and her two young teens&

They are like it at home too. Small portions for the ‘kids’ and fruit if they are still hungry afterwards

ds always says he’s hungry when he stays at his house, but it falls on deaf ears

ds said that her kids took bites out of apples and put them back and that they were the ones they were all told to eat later

There is a strict no helping yourself to food policy in their house

From the snippets of what you said this sounds like child abuse to me. Your DS is safe, your ex's other children are not.

My 15 year old ds is slightly taller than his dad at 6ft 1 so I would be horrified if he had been fed a children's meal.

My dd who is 7 much prefers non kids menu food anyway, she has never eaten a burger or a hotdog and prefers something like chilli pasta which wouldn't feature on a kids menu.

Kids menu's piss me off.