Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think you wait for your kids to say goodbye to the cat before calling its owners

94 replies

Kjoetthue · 15/06/2018 19:01

We've had a 'stray' cat hanging around for the past couple of weeks, my daughters have grown really attached. We've seen it occasionally over the past few years, it visited every now and again, but never stayed for more than an hour or so. But since the weekend before last it's been sitting in our garden pretty much all day long.

My mum spotted a missing cat poster today, but didn't take the details. I came home today with the baby, leaving my children with my mum for a while, while I put the baby to bed, I mentioned the poster to my OH, suggested he go and take a look. To be honest I didn't think for one minute he would even move from him computer, because, quite frankly he is lazy.
Baby was almost asleep when I heard the doorbell and excited chatting downstairs. He'd only gone and called the owner there and then. So they've taken the cat, which is lovely for them, but surely he would have THOUGHT first that maybe his daughters, who love this bloody cat, could say goodbye, maybe even chat a little to the owner? It's an interesting cat and would have made a lovely conversation for them to share, the owner sounded nice, judging by the cheerful and happy tone of voice I heard.

I'm really angry that he didn't think of our daughters' feeling, or even mine to be honest, and also because they woke the baby up, who is now super overtired and so grumpy, but wide awake, and I have a ton of work to do while he will spend the evening chilling out and being unhelpful.

I almost think he's done it out of spite. He didn't want the cat to stay, not that I thought it would and I did want to find out if it had owners or what might have happened. He's had nothing to do with it, and has mostly ignored mine and the kids' enthusiasm and excitement for their little friend. So how was it up to him to call them like that without telling us first or even waiting a couple of hours for the kids to get back?

OP posts:
Littletreefrog · 15/06/2018 19:02

I think yabu. If you want a cat get a cat. Tell your daughter the cat went back to live with its family.

SleepingStandingUp · 15/06/2018 19:06

On the one hand you did send him out to look at the poster. Cats owners would be worried. He did right to call them.

On the other hand you don't sound like you like him very much.

Theshittyendofthestick · 15/06/2018 19:06

I agree with treefrog. He did the right thing. Your DC will get over it pretty quickly if you don't make too big a deal out of it.

Minniemooseishere · 15/06/2018 19:06

Sounds like you have bigger issues tbh.

MuddyMoose · 15/06/2018 19:06

YABU. It wasn't you're cat. It wasn't living in your home for that time. It slept (& probably shat) in your garden. The owners have probably been missing their pet. You'll just have to explain to your children the cat has gone home.

Glumglowworm · 15/06/2018 19:07

If it was your missing pet you would want someone to call you straight away

YABU, it’s not your cat, the owner was worried about it, of course you should call them straight away

If you and your partner and DC want a cat, get a cat of your own

GoldenButtercup · 15/06/2018 19:07

I think that it's possibly easier for children to get over a fait accompli like this - the cat has gone home to its owners, rather than a goodbye session which could upset your children more when they realise their friend is going.

MuddyMoose · 15/06/2018 19:08

*your cat

RunMummyRun68 · 15/06/2018 19:08

Yabu!!

Knittedfairies · 15/06/2018 19:08

Sorry, but I think your OH did the right thing,calling the owners immediately. Looking at this from the owner’s point of view, they would be desperate to get their beloved cat back.

TeasndToast · 15/06/2018 19:08

Get your ducks in a row, log it with 101 then ltb.

SendintheArdwolves · 15/06/2018 19:09

You sound super annoyed with your DH, OP, and I'm sure you have reason to be.

But not because he didn't make the owners of a lost cat hang around while your daughters said an emotional goodbye, heard all the details of the cat's childhood, kissed the top of its little head, etc.

What are you really pissed off with your DH about? Address that, rather than this weird cat issue, which frankly will sound a bit nuts if you have a go at him over Grin

Buzzlightyearsbumchin · 15/06/2018 19:10

He did as you asked and now you're angry because he didn't read your mind and do as you ask within your unspoken terms.

Wussypants · 15/06/2018 19:11

You told him to go look at the poster...what did you expect him to do when he recognised the missing cat Confused?

GinIsIn · 15/06/2018 19:11

Confused He reunited a lost cat with its presumably worried and upset owners. What a cunt.

Kjoetthue · 15/06/2018 19:11

Yes GoldenButtercup, good point, they'd no doubt burst into tears when the lady took it away, I just though it'd be nice to wait just a couple of hours so they could say their goodbyes (DD2 likes to say goodbye before school and goodnight before bed) but fair enough, I stand corrected, I'll calm down.
And yes, we do have other issues so I guess my perspective is off.

OP posts:
Sparklesocks · 15/06/2018 19:12

YABU, it’s not your cat and your DC need to understand it has a proper family.

The owners were probably very worried and your DH was right to call them right away.

TopBitchoftheWitches · 15/06/2018 19:14

It wasn't your cat.

Did you feed it?

soupmaker · 15/06/2018 19:15

Your poor DDs. YABVU. Get them a cat then. And more to the point try and sort out the obvious issues you have with your DH.

PrettyLovely · 15/06/2018 19:15

No he didnt do anything wrong...
If you really liked that cat why dont your own?

gracielacey · 15/06/2018 19:17

Why not just tell your husband this, rather than expecting him to guess?

I would never have guessed that you wanted a goodbye session from what you have said.

Sounds like you prefer the cat to your dh...

ilovesooty · 15/06/2018 19:18

wait just a couple of hours

Are you fucking serious?

upsideup · 15/06/2018 19:19

I think you need a cat OP

Quimby · 15/06/2018 19:20

So you wait a couple of hours
Cat wanders from your garden and doesn’t return
Owners never get their cat back

steff13 · 15/06/2018 19:21

I would have purposely waited until the kids were asleep/away to arrange for the cat to be picked up, specifically to avoid a whole goodbye scene. You may not be unreasonable about his general uselessness, but you are about this, IMO.

Swipe left for the next trending thread