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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think you wait for your kids to say goodbye to the cat before calling its owners

94 replies

Kjoetthue · 15/06/2018 19:01

We've had a 'stray' cat hanging around for the past couple of weeks, my daughters have grown really attached. We've seen it occasionally over the past few years, it visited every now and again, but never stayed for more than an hour or so. But since the weekend before last it's been sitting in our garden pretty much all day long.

My mum spotted a missing cat poster today, but didn't take the details. I came home today with the baby, leaving my children with my mum for a while, while I put the baby to bed, I mentioned the poster to my OH, suggested he go and take a look. To be honest I didn't think for one minute he would even move from him computer, because, quite frankly he is lazy.
Baby was almost asleep when I heard the doorbell and excited chatting downstairs. He'd only gone and called the owner there and then. So they've taken the cat, which is lovely for them, but surely he would have THOUGHT first that maybe his daughters, who love this bloody cat, could say goodbye, maybe even chat a little to the owner? It's an interesting cat and would have made a lovely conversation for them to share, the owner sounded nice, judging by the cheerful and happy tone of voice I heard.

I'm really angry that he didn't think of our daughters' feeling, or even mine to be honest, and also because they woke the baby up, who is now super overtired and so grumpy, but wide awake, and I have a ton of work to do while he will spend the evening chilling out and being unhelpful.

I almost think he's done it out of spite. He didn't want the cat to stay, not that I thought it would and I did want to find out if it had owners or what might have happened. He's had nothing to do with it, and has mostly ignored mine and the kids' enthusiasm and excitement for their little friend. So how was it up to him to call them like that without telling us first or even waiting a couple of hours for the kids to get back?

OP posts:
FuckPants · 15/06/2018 19:21

It's not your cat.

Kjoetthue · 15/06/2018 19:21

From what little I heard (I was trying to make baby sleep, but could hear loud muffled talking) it sounded like they said they'd been away, so left it maybe? Which makes me have less sympathy for them. But yes I'd want it back asap if it was mine.

And yep, gracie, we probably got more love out of that cat than him, but I guess that's not relevant.

OP posts:
Oddcat · 15/06/2018 19:21

I think your kids would have been upset at having to say goodbye. Your husband did then right thing , no fuss , no tears .

SEsofty · 15/06/2018 19:23

It’s not your cat. Think how upset the owner must have been with a missing cat

Kjoetthue · 15/06/2018 19:23

Yeah Steff, now I think about it, you're right.

OP posts:
PellyBay · 15/06/2018 19:24

I think you're over-reacting. But you know, if the owner is so nice, why don't you call them, explain how much your kids bonded with the cat and see if you and the kids could pop over sometime to meet them and see the cat again?

stayathomegardener · 15/06/2018 19:24

Awww I kind of get that.

Can you not phone the number again and ask if the children could pop over and see cat happy in its home?

Or is that cheeky?
I wouldn't mind if you found my pet.

stayathomegardener · 15/06/2018 19:25

@PellyBay Bear

FrancisCrawford · 15/06/2018 19:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SparklyMagpie · 15/06/2018 19:26

Solve your problem then - leave him and get a cat

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 15/06/2018 19:26

I wouldn't worry - it'll probably be back anyway. Once a cat extends their territory to your house, they tend to return.

Mummyoflittledragon · 15/06/2018 19:28

Why don’t you get your own cat?

SparklyMagpie · 15/06/2018 19:29

I understand where you're coming from though but I think it was best for your daughters - I'd have been a crying wreck most probably haha.

Are they local or had the stray been on one massive adventure?

Maybe you could make a little story for your daughters and it end with how happy the cat is now to be home with it's owners but had great fun meeting you all?

Apologies about the making up a story, currently making up all sorts for toddler DS 🙈

Juells · 15/06/2018 19:29

Don't worry, the cat will be back.

Deathraystare · 15/06/2018 19:33

So the poor bugger actually gets off his lazy @ss and does something and he is in the wrong!!

Katgurl · 15/06/2018 19:33

Ahhhhh yes your DD will be upset. But they would be upset anyway with a goodbye scene.

The owners might let them go round and say bye? You said she sounded nice.

RideOn · 15/06/2018 19:35

No I think he did the right thing. I'd frame it positively for them.

Also when you say "he didn't want the cat to stay" it makes me think you were in the process of doing a version of a pick me dance (to the cat) to get it to stay with you. It belongs to another.

BewareOfDragons · 15/06/2018 19:35

If YOUR beloved pet went missing, would you want the people who found it to delay calling you until their children were ready to let it go home?

Get a grip.

And possibly, get a cat of your own!

TemptressofWaikiki · 15/06/2018 19:35

What a totally absurd OP! Anyone with a smidgeon of empathy will call the worried owners straight away. Glad your DH has more sense! You sound self-centred and oblivious to the feelings and needs of anyone outside your small bubble.

Shumpalumpa · 15/06/2018 19:37

Sounds like he wanted the kudos of being the saviour.

He could at least have come up and told you the owner was here.

I can only imagine what an arse he is, but YANBU.

MarthaArthur · 15/06/2018 19:39

Op please dont make up stories to suit your agenda. You didnt hear a word of the muffled conversation with the owners, but you have gone from they sounded happy to you think they said they had gone away for weeks and left the cat. You sound like you have deeper issues you need to resolve.

Dickybow321 · 15/06/2018 19:41

Sorry to hijack the thread but we've got a cat that keeps visiting us and has done for the past couple of weeks. I'm starting to get a bit worried because she seems obsessed with us. We don't feed her but she has come in the house a few times because she sits at the French doors looking in to the house for ages, meowing and getting excited when she sees one of us.It had literally got to the stage where we had to shut the curtains because it was awkward having her staring in for hours on end. It's really weird. Today she spent practically the whole day in our garden (while we were inside). I don't really know anything about cats. Is it really bad to let her in the house for cuddles? BlushWe would definitely never feed her. If this was your cat would you be angry that someone let her in their house?

Kjoetthue · 15/06/2018 19:49

Nope, Martha, not making anything up. I'm not arguing against being selfish for wanting to 'keep it' a little longer, but hearing her say "been away" made me feel less guilty for thinking we could have delayed calling them.

OP posts:
Shumpalumpa · 15/06/2018 19:49

Marthaarthur

but you have gone from they sounded happy to you think they said they had gone away for weeks and left the cat.

What are you about? Them being happy and having left the cat aren't mutually exclusive. They were probably happy because they went on holiday and left their cat.

Prawnofthepatriarchy · 15/06/2018 19:51

YABU. And if you're a cat lover then getting the "stray" back to its loving family should've been your top priority.