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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think you wait for your kids to say goodbye to the cat before calling its owners

94 replies

Kjoetthue · 15/06/2018 19:01

We've had a 'stray' cat hanging around for the past couple of weeks, my daughters have grown really attached. We've seen it occasionally over the past few years, it visited every now and again, but never stayed for more than an hour or so. But since the weekend before last it's been sitting in our garden pretty much all day long.

My mum spotted a missing cat poster today, but didn't take the details. I came home today with the baby, leaving my children with my mum for a while, while I put the baby to bed, I mentioned the poster to my OH, suggested he go and take a look. To be honest I didn't think for one minute he would even move from him computer, because, quite frankly he is lazy.
Baby was almost asleep when I heard the doorbell and excited chatting downstairs. He'd only gone and called the owner there and then. So they've taken the cat, which is lovely for them, but surely he would have THOUGHT first that maybe his daughters, who love this bloody cat, could say goodbye, maybe even chat a little to the owner? It's an interesting cat and would have made a lovely conversation for them to share, the owner sounded nice, judging by the cheerful and happy tone of voice I heard.

I'm really angry that he didn't think of our daughters' feeling, or even mine to be honest, and also because they woke the baby up, who is now super overtired and so grumpy, but wide awake, and I have a ton of work to do while he will spend the evening chilling out and being unhelpful.

I almost think he's done it out of spite. He didn't want the cat to stay, not that I thought it would and I did want to find out if it had owners or what might have happened. He's had nothing to do with it, and has mostly ignored mine and the kids' enthusiasm and excitement for their little friend. So how was it up to him to call them like that without telling us first or even waiting a couple of hours for the kids to get back?

OP posts:
SluttyButty · 15/06/2018 23:37

The world has gone mad, mad I tell you.
Saying goodbye to a cat that's gone missing and you've presumed a stray, mad...
Op you need to prepare your children for life, and this was a good opportunity, you've not used it wisely.

Marriedwithchildren5 · 16/06/2018 05:55

No, she didn’t get it! She has been snippy and passive-aggressive

I think you must be reading a different post! You must fall out with a lot of people in your life!!

SabineUndine · 16/06/2018 06:21

Sounds as though you should be swapping your OH for a cat.

fenneltea · 16/06/2018 06:44

Dickybow You can print paper collars off the internet to request the owner contact you to see if the cat is a stray or not, plus posting on local lost and found pet pages. I've had a few turn up that were genuinely lost and hungry, I'd rather know that that wasn't the case. She could just be a friendly soul, but if she's desperate to get in she may be homeless.

amyddss · 16/06/2018 06:48

Sounds like you've got the issue to be honest. If you want a cat, get a cat.. he's not done anything wrong.

Pleasebeafleabite · 16/06/2018 06:51

I agree with sabine

New cat in. Old husband out.

Worked for me

Clairetree1 · 16/06/2018 07:12

you can't wait a couple of hours to call the owner of a missing pet! be reasonable! it might be gone it 10 minutes

nannybeach · 16/06/2018 07:25

YABU, its not you cat, its not a "stray" it didnt live in or move in with you. I have had two different neighbours try and take over one of my cats,. MY eldest DD has 2 cats, one became very ill, she took him to the vet, had to spend a fortune, she thought someone was trying to poison him, complicated blood tests in the end, one day she is walking towards her house, a boy of bout 10 goes by, with a man, and says Oh, look Dad that the house where the cat lives", Dad shuts him up quicly. DD put on special collar saying please do not feed this ct he is on medication, its getting more and difficult to keep tabs on the cat now. I dont have a cat, have lots of cats come in my garden, I dont feed them, or encourage them, because they arent mine.

nannybeach · 16/06/2018 07:26

I dont have a cat now, havent for 12 years since the last one died.

Ickyockycocky · 16/06/2018 07:27

Get a cat! 🙀

TimeToDash · 16/06/2018 07:41

I don't think it would have been fair to hold on to it, but I'm sure they would have welcomed the children to visit them to say goodbye up the cat later if someone had thought to ask.

Cadencia · 16/06/2018 08:06

Read the thread, people. The OP has accepted she was being unreasonable.

LifeBeginsAtGin · 16/06/2018 08:19

OP, take this as an opportunity to teach your DC that other peoples feelings sometime come before our own.

And maybe your DH is lazy because you have a rant every time he does do, something so he no longer bothers.

ForalltheSaints · 16/06/2018 08:21

Get a kitten, and use the experience as a positive one- you have discovered the DC love cats. As they loved the cat, you can also tell them how much it meant to its family, and how much they missed her/him.

voldermorticia · 16/06/2018 08:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SparklyLeprechaun · 16/06/2018 08:28

You know it's a cat, so it will be back tomorrow for a visit, unless they lock it in the house?

Kattyy · 16/06/2018 08:34

Are you winding everybody up with that post or are you for real? Think calling you unreasonable is putting it kindly...

FASH84 · 16/06/2018 08:48

You should've made it clear to the DCs from the start that the cat belonged to someone else and was lost and you would try to find it's real owners. They would then be excited that the cat has gone home to where it lives. If you want a cat get one.

Knittedfairies · 18/06/2018 18:47

My SIL’s cat was beginning to look rather chubby. She put a note on the cat’s collar asking people who fed it to call her number. Eight people replied!

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