AIBU at this dietary request in RSVP?

[craxmum]

Hello everyone,

I sent a standard birthday invitation to my son's class (reception). RSVP by [today], state dietary needs etc. I am planning a great party (magician, animators etc), but for the first time am doing it so formally. DS is a popular child, after struggling with extreme shyness, and a lot of kids want to come.
I received today a reply from one mum stating "[Childs name] can have only organic products. Please no refined sugar either. Please check with me if in doubt".
I was already surprised by other requests - namely, halal, gluten free (x2), soy free and vegetarian (x2, one helpfully points out that eggs are not vegetarian). Happy to accommodate (but definitely will outsource to a professional caterer now).

AIBU to think that's a bit too much? Or is it normal? Of course, I can afford organic ingredients, it's not a money issue, but isn't it a little bit cheeky to ask for it?

I really couldn't be bothered with this! It sounds like a complete nightmare.

Send a mass text or email out stating:

Hi all.

GF, Halal and certain allergies are catered for but specific preferences are not due to child's party - please feel free to cater your child.

Also CANNOT guarantee a Nut free zone so be advised.

Thanks.

GF bread easy to get, plenty of food options in M&S or lidl these days. Halal or Kosher same as just a change in food items to include Gelatine free.

As for picky parents - sod off.

Marks and spencers with notice do great kids platters - that an option?

@Elspeth12345 sounds good! Although I’d have some pizzas with cheese and some without ;)

OP perhaps a future party could specify food options as: vegetarian option available on request, otherwise please send your child with a packed lunch. ;)

I think all the dietary needs sound normal bar the precious no refined sugar one... it’s a party..

@Elspeth12345 ye.. my 3 children have different food choices for themselves. Before I had children I helped at my nieces birthday party. I was handed a little girl and asked to help her choose only the food she was allowed as the family had switched to vegetarian a month before. It was heartbreaking to see how disappointed she was when I told her her mummy told me she couldn’t eat the sausages!!

My DH and I are both vegetarian. My eldest chooses to eat meats and that fine, my middle is a strict vegetarian. His choice, youngest is vegetarian but not strict, as in, will eat haribo and other such sweets containing gelatine. I figured I would just be honest with her about what gelatine was and how comes this sweetie wasn’t actually veggie friendly and it was up to her what she chose to do with the truth. She chose to eat the sweets ;)

Never ask!!!! If someone actually has an allergy they’ll tell you.

I’d just ignore the request, it’s embarassingly laughable

Just do loads of salad - cucumber sticks and pepper always go down well, loads of fruit, tons of crisps or wedges. The organic one can ignore these.

If you can be bothered add in some gluten free crackers and some Babybels.

Such a nightmare.

Actually the sugar-free and organic one, I would just ignore. Have lots of Haribo sweets and other sweet stuff and she can just not eat it. The other kids shouldn't have to suffer because of her mum's stupid ideals.

Can you not just pretend that the stuff is organic I don't think she will know the difference, I would never do this for gluten free or halal, but the organic thing is just too much

We had a party last tear for DD 4th birthday and had a lactose intolerant child asked mum what she would be able manage and she said don’t worry about it but thank you for asking as you are the first parent to ask about what to provide. I would ask if I were you what food in particular they can eat and then if you can’t accomodate then outsource the catering x

will the mother be there throughout.becasue I bet that child is screaming out to come to have some sugar and nice food!

Egg free vegstarianism (often called pure vegetarianism) is a religious requirement in some vedic religions. The vegetarian parent probably just meant to clarify that they were that kind of vegetarian. As for the organic only could be a sulfer issue and sugar maybe the kid is diabetic? Probably not but try not to judge. Agree with others saying that you should provide suitable alternatives and ask parent to stay and supervise.

My friends son only eats organic, she chooses to feed him organic. I just asked her and she said when he goes to party’s or for meals he eats what is there.
She said requesting organic is RIDICULOUS!!!

@Threepe bit rich considering that there isn't any tangible difference between halal meat and non halal no pork meat while there is still a difference between organic and non organic (even if it is really minor). I don't really see how a parents preference for a specific method of slaughter is fine but a preference for foods not produced using potentially harmful chemicals both to consumers and the environment is OTT. They are both entire a question of personal belief and morals so should be treated equally surely?

If you’re concerned about harmful chemicals in the food at a kid’s party, just send a bloody lunchbox.

You would expect reasonable parents to respond with. My child has a nut allergy or my child don't eat meat. Even my child is dairy intolerant. Those are resonable good request. The mother that talks about organic foods only. Really unless he's child is packed lunch at school she eats non organic and anyone that replies with ridiculous requests I would suggest that send their child with a packed lunch. This is not about money it's about being reasonable and not overly ridiculous

Collating the numbers for Christmas lunch in school, I was ASTOUNDED at the parent who considered 'no sprouts' to be a special dietary requirement. FFS...

I believe vegetarianism is fairly common amongst Hindus, and by their definition, doesn't allow eggs. I'm not Indian but I've always lived in an area with a large Indian population and there are loads of egg free cake companies advertising which is how I know and doesn't seem unusual to me. I'm really surprised more people on here don't know this actually.

When I was doing parties 15 years ago I had it down to a fine art after a few in knowing what would be eaten.
The menu was jam sandwiches (on white bread), crisps, squash and cakes.
Oddly no children ever had allergies or intolerances it seems to be a recent thing.

Sorry, hav3n’t read whole thread but just wanted to say, that’s a preference. You asked about requirements. Allergies count. Strict religious reasons and vegetarian/vegan options, ok. But organic and sugar free , jog on.

No no no you just don't provide the foods that anyone is actually allergic to...mainly due to cross contamination. Otherwise parents stay and police their own kids eating if they are not old enough to do so themselves.

If you excluded all those food areas you're basically left with lettuce and dust

My son's party invite has small print on it saying that anyone with specific dietary requirements will need to bring their own food as we will be serving sugar, meat and everything thats bad, as its a childrens party!

Happy meals all round then..

GF really isn’t as easy as is being made out here. Buffet type spreads are a complete nightmare for cross contamination. Crisps very often contain gluten, not just fancy flavours either. Even things like frozen chips often have a wheat flour based coating on them.

DS2 has coeliac disease. I’d wouldn’t chance asking another parent to cater for it at a birthday party (simply because it is not easy, not because I don’t trust people); I’d just let them know he’d be bringing his own food.

GF really isn’t as easy as is being made out here. Buffet type spreads are a complete nightmare for cross contamination. Crisps very often contain gluten, not just fancy flavours either. Even things like frozen chips often have a wheat flour based coating on them

I honestly did find it far easier than i expected. I am a pathological packet reader though, so am well aware chips often have a flour coating etc. I read every packet.

As for cross contamination, i didn’t have any food with wheat or other grains. No bread, no flour. I used almond flour for the birthday cake, and gluten free flour for cupcakes. Crisps again, easy to read the packet.

I even checked if oats were ok as i know oats can trigger some coeliacs. I cleaned my kitchen top to bottom and all gluten containing products were removed before prep.

Once the cakes were sorted and i’d thought of alternatives to sandwiches, everything else was pretty much as i’d do anyway. Just more vigilance with packet contents.

Go back 10/20 years.....no one would have ever made these requests for specific dietery needs for a kids party.....so what's changed ?

They’ll probably sue you if you mess up too.