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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think owning a home isn’t the only goal in life

226 replies

Bonjourmonami73 · 15/06/2018 10:32

Don’t get me wrong, I would LOVE to own my own home but I am priced out of the market and it’s not looking like I will own any time soon. I could move to a cheap area where I don’t know a soul but I don’t want to. I have a great flexible job, 2 happy kids in a nice school, lots of friends, a social life, holidays etc. I just can’t afford a house as Would need £100k at least deposit.

Someone said to me yesterday that they don’t understand how I can ‘bear’ to live like this and that I should be doing everything I can including moving to a town 200 miles away to get on the housing ladder. I dont understand this logic at all. I would rather own my own home of course but I don’t have a deposit.

The other thing that this person said is ‘what will you do when you are older’ and the truth is I don’t have the answer. Maybe move somewhere cheaper then when my kids are grown up.

Aibu to feel like this? I am a bit tired of being asked why I can’t buy a house. I have actually privately rented this house for 7 years and can have it for at least another 2. Yes I know it’s ‘dead money’ but there isn’t anything I can’t do about that as I can’t save £100k for a deposit.

I feel judged constantly for renting- the person yesterday basically implied I had totally failed in my life.

Aibu?

OP posts:
headinhands · 15/06/2018 21:15

Gosh how rude. I was renting for a long time and no one grilled me about it or made such comments. They just sound rude.

LovelyBath77 · 16/06/2018 06:28

I think it goes matter if it is UC rather than HB, you have to sign agreements, conditionality tests and have interviews, be sanctioned if you don't work enough hours. Wouldn't like to deal with all that in older years.

TakeawayTakeMeAway · 16/06/2018 07:25

It doesn’t really matter whether it’s HB or UC, either way it’s benefits contributing to your rent.

In the Netherlands, mortgage interest payments are tax deductible. So basically everyone with a mortgage is receiving state assistance.

LovelyBath77 · 16/06/2018 07:26

Do they make them sign agreements, keep them updated and work certain hours for it though? as that is what is happening with UC..

TakeawayTakeMeAway · 16/06/2018 07:32

But people won’t be on UC after retirement age presumably Confused

shartsi · 16/06/2018 07:39

OP with 20k savings you should look into shared ownership. It is more secure than renting.

Frosty66612 · 16/06/2018 07:44

@takeaway so after retirement age they would need to solely rely on their pension to pay for absolutely everything? Doesn’t sound like much fun to me. The state pension age will probably keep rising too, or they will cut the amount they give everyone

malificent7 · 16/06/2018 07:54

Yanbu. Plenty of people on the continent manage to rent AND , shock horror, live great lives.

In my case if i had a mortgage my standard of living would go down as I wouldn't be able to leave a job I hate and retrain.

Sprinklesinmyelbow · 16/06/2018 07:55

My point was related to landlords, someone said that it could be risky to buy an investment property due to UC making rent arrears more likely.

Pensioners now would generally be on HB if their only income is state pension

malificent7 · 16/06/2018 07:59

I'm also not sure why so many people fret about retirement....I might be dead by then or infirm! Of course put a bit away but I wouldn't destroy my family by moving up north where its cheaper. And yes it would destroy my family as dd loves her school, we have fily and friends and a support network here so I'm happy renting thank you.

A lot of homeowners see themselves as superior or more fiscally responsible than renters and second home owners private landlords can be off the scale arrogant . no all I might add before I get roasted!

malificent7 · 16/06/2018 08:00

Family etc

LovelyBath77 · 16/06/2018 08:03

No, people would not at pension age so 67 but up to that age would be, as I mentioned previously, in the years up to pension age wouldn't fancy that much

LovelyBath77 · 16/06/2018 08:04

I think at that age it is pension credit and they would not expect work conditionality, anyway

traciebanbanjo · 16/06/2018 08:05

I really would buy at want costs.

My main home is now paid off and my btl portfolio will be paid off in a decade and I will be very comfortable

LovelyBath77 · 16/06/2018 08:07

"There will be other future changes to Pension Credit as a result of the introduction of Universal Credit as other benefits such as Tax Credits and Housing Benefit are phased out. These benefits will all eventually become part of Universal Credit and when this happens it will mean that pensioners who currently get Housing Benefit will instead have this replaced by a new housing credit which will be paid as part of Pension Credit..."

benefitsaware.centralenglandlc.org.uk/pension-credit-changes-and-universal-credit/

LovelyBath77 · 16/06/2018 08:08

So it would mean dealing with UC and it's associated stress until the age of 67! No thanks

LovelyBath77 · 16/06/2018 08:09

"My main home is now paid off and my btl portfolio will be paid off in a decade and I will be very comfortable"

Good for you Tracie, did you mean to sound smug?

GingerRogers84 · 16/06/2018 08:14

It's not dead money. You're living and enjoying your life, so that money well spent.

TheOriginalEmu · 16/06/2018 08:17

I have absolutely no desire to own s house. What others call ‘stability’ I see as being tied down. I like the flexibility of renting, I like that if something major breaks I don’t have to fix it. It works for me.
People are fixated on stuff. Owning stuff. The best this, that and the other. It’s just not for me.

LovelyBath77 · 16/06/2018 08:19

The main thing for me in owning is security fr the future and to have something to leave to the DCs.

gildashairflick · 16/06/2018 08:20

We have been in our rented house nearly 5 years. Lots of freedom to decorate as we wanted, 2 year contracts, good rent, what we thought was a good landlord living overseas who said he never had any intention to return to the U.K. and certainly not this house. Then, he changed his mind, said he wanted to return and gave us two months notice. The feeling was horrendous. It felt like our world had fallen apart. Lots of other stuff going on with the kids in the background etc and we were just about to go on a hard saved for, much needed two week holiday abroad. Rental properties in this area are few and far between. Luckily I had the nouse to contact Shelter and speak to a solicitor friend for advice and due to our contract he was acting illegally by issuing that notice and he has had to retract it. He's now trying to guilt us into moving out prematurely (not going to happen!). But what it has done is given us a taste of the insecurity, how our little family's security is subject to the whims of someone else. We will be spending the next 18 months saving like absolute crazy for a deposit and will likely have to get a doer upper to get the space we need. I never want to go through what we just have and for that, we will be getting our own home at pretty much what ever cost it takes.

FASH84 · 16/06/2018 08:21

Our mortgage is around £400-450 a month cheaper than rent on the same property in the same area, we put down a deposit just over £30k, , so even if rents don't go up quicker than mortgage rates (we just secured a be five year fixed term) we will have saved the amount we paid in deposit within just over six years, during which time the equity in our home will increase, we know exactly what our housing costs will be for the next five years and no one can make us move. We also have the security of not having housing costs later in life as our mortgage will be paid then. We're not missing out on life to do this as a PP suggested it would cost us more to rent. Think about what we can do with the £4800 a year less it's costing us to buy...

wherewithal · 16/06/2018 08:24

Homeownership in this country is now more of a pyramid scheme than a ladder, which is why some seem so desperate to get renters to buy (or even more mind-bogglingly – especially as advice to those who haven’t even owned before – BTL).

Singlenotsingle · 16/06/2018 08:32

Sometimes I think that, Storm. Young people these days do all the things I never did, but would have liked to. Travelling, holidaying, festivals, parties. Ok I've got a nice house and security, but all the money went into the house, not into having fun.

TakeawayTakeMeAway · 16/06/2018 09:02

so after retirement age they would need to solely rely on their pension to pay for absolutely everything? Doesn’t sound like much fun to me.

GrinGrinGrin I'm pretty sure poverty ISN'T a lot of fun! I'm fortunate enough not to have experienced it first-hand, but the general idea I get is that it's not all that and a bag of chips.

There seem to be a few people on here who think of poverty as being a lifestyle choice and the fault of those silly people who didn't plan ahead to think that retirement on a state pension only "didn't sound like a lot of fun".