To be sick of women being told to exercise 'situational awareness'

[Quantumblue]

In Melbourne we have just had another sickening rape and murder of a young woman. A 22 year old comedian, walking home at 10.30 pm after finishing a gig. Through an inner city park where thousands of people walk, run, cycle and hang out each week.
The police response has been to tell women to exercise caution and situational awareness.
So upset at this loss ( she was at school with my nephew) and so upset that the solution is for women to be more aware. We are all aware of danger every time we go out our front doors.
RIP Eurydice

It's victim blaming if it's the first response to someone getting raped or murdered. Perhaps the police should make their first response an apology that they are not keeping women safe in public and a request for more resources to do so?

I agree, of course their first response should be to apologise and say what they will do better etc etc.

Firstly i will be telling my daughter to dress modestly, to not walk around with headphones in,and to not walk around late at night. Just as my mum and dad taught me and other females in my family.
And theres nothing wrong with it.
Secondly with regards to teaching men not to rape theres a good chunk of men out there you cant teach not to rape because they are evil.
Unfortunately rape has been around for centuries. Its always happened and it always will

Firstly i will be telling my daughter to dress modestly

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.cnn.com/cnn/2018/04/16/health/what-were-you-wearing-exhibit-trnd/index.html

The problem with advising women to avoid certain places/ times is that those who for whatever (legitimate) reason are there are then "in the wrong". To the perpetraitors, it increases the perception that they are fair game for attacking.

Safety advice should be equal between the sexes. Young men are more vulnerable to violent crime, they need just as much situational awareness as a woman to minimise their chances of being viewed as an easy target. The uneven goalpost is that a women's body is more likely to be the prize to a sexual attack, and that can't be hidden.

There have been local crimes to me that have made me evaluate my safety as a runner. One was a serial rapist/ sexual attacker (fortunately now convicted) targeting other nearby neighbourhoods, and a violent mugging on one of my frequently used routes which is difficult to avoid. I'm not prepared to stop running, nor do I have an appropriate running body. There is no "safe" time, all these offences were carried out in daylight. I have started wearing an easy to use alarm as a last moment deterrent. I'm not going to cut my pony tail off, by that point I'm probably defeated anyway. My clothing is obviously practical for running, I wear bright colours for maximising road safety but see no point in changing styles of clothing. My phone is useful for the more likely hazard of incurring an injury. I do listen to music, but always able to hear surrounding traffic/ birdsong (bone conducting earphones). If I run at night, I stick to well lit, suburban routes with good visibility (reduces trip hazards). Realistically the greatest hazards are injury such as twisting an ankle or traffic. To me, there is a sensible degree of situational awareness without impairing my enjoyment of a usually safe sport which has significant benefits over the hazards of a sedentary lifestyle. Victim blamers can always nitpick over some detail, but it is the offender that causes the crime.

There is scope in society for improving awareness of consent and respect. Not so much for rare violent stranger danger crimes, but to reduce lower level nuisence behaviour.

I think i have said this before but it bears repeating.
My friends grandmother was raped by a stranger in her own home. She was in her 70s and (I think) wearing a dressing gown.
It doesn't fucking matter what you wear!!
The problem is not what women wear or where they go or at what time. The problem is men knowing they have every freedom to get away with it.
And bollocks is it testosterone. My partner is your classic bald, hairy, high sex drive man. He isn't violent or mysoginistic. It's a CULTURE of acceptance that women and girls are expendable.
I used to be scared out on the street at night, which makes sense, as statistically girls under 19 are more at risk, but now I go where I want when I want. I'm will fight to the death if any fucker wants a go, but I will not be curtailed.

I'm so so angry that men do NOTHING about their own sex raping and murdering.
It is not women's responsibility to adjust their own behaviour and freedoms.
When will MEN take a stand??

MEN do take a stand. I think any normal and sane man thinks raping women is vile and disgusting and would love some alone time with any fucked who commuted this crime.
I find it sad you think your everyday man doesn't think rape is wrong. And that men don't take a stand against rape.

So..."Men think rape is wrong" and that's taking a stand?
But women should stay at home after dark to prevent men hurting and/or killing them?
Only of those things is consciously doing something. But you know that.

'Situational awareness' just means you see it coming sooner. There is no right clothing, time or place.

I was raped in a relatives house by a family friend.

Perhaps I should have locked up my vagina beforehand

Yes taking a stand is saying what you're doing is wrong and campaigning for tougher punishments for commuting the offense. What else can a normal guy do?

Where's the line drawn between taking precautions and being an alleged man hating femanizi who thinks all men are rapists?

I don't know what men can do. Seems like they can do quite a bit when they have a mind to. I just know that women and girls are considered the cause of their own rape and murder, over and over, and the sex actually responsible.... noone likes to talk about it. Or, if we do, it's an extreme position, to suggest that every time a girls life is taken, it's because of some kind of force of nature that can't even be imagined to be stopped. Why??

I don't know why?
It's disgraceful girls are blamed for their own rapes and it needs to stop as it's the man's fault not theirs.

But suggesting men don't take a stand is wrong. We do. Every single decent man in this world hates rapists. But expecting us to somehow magic up a cure for it just because we're he same sex as rapists is daft.

How do I think we can deter it. Increase sentencing. Tag all people convicted of sexual crimes and five them curfews for life and restrict where they can go so no where near schools etc.

I will not be changing my behaviour. I will continue to walk alone when it’s dark but will take the same precautions I always do, keep to well lit areas, don’t wear head phones and don’t drink excessively. That’s it. I would also consider those good precautions for all men to take.

The reason these murders make the headlines is because they are rare. The vast majority of murders are committed by someone known to the victim. It’s the same as every time you drive a car there is a tiny chance you will be taken out by a drunk or careless driver through no fault of your own. It doesn’t mean you stop driving.

In my darker moments I think that this kind of crime is a symptom of a world where men feel contempt for women, and this contempt underlies all our institutions and behaviours. Yet I am a mother of a young adult son, I am married to a man and I know they both respect women.

So heartbroken for this family.

"Women have very little idea of how much men hate them" Germaine Greer. "The Female Eunuch".

I don't think for a moment this meant all men but rather the degree to which enough men do. I too think there is a pervasive contempt for women of which rape is an expression. That's why we get silly "testosterone overload" posts here, and injunctions for women to dress/walk differently i.e. in some way the women brought it on themselves.

Anything but address the fact that rape is an act of will, of agency, of deliberation by the men who do it.

Quantum - my daughter is at Melbourne University and her friend just wrote this.

www.theage.com.au/national/victoria/when-women-get-attacked-it-s-not-their-fault-20180614-p4zlin.html

Their generation gets it, which is encouraging.

Thanks for sharing that pompom. Agree that this is such a smart articulate generation.
Melbourne is in many ways a young person's city. So many uni students, so much art, live music, comedy, sporting events. Not to mention people working mad shifts in hospitals and cafes etc. Young women do take public transport and walk around at night participating in the life and opportunities in the city.

As they absolutely should. None of my daughter's friends are agreeing to change their behaviour. As her mother, if course I worry about her, as I do my sons. As a fellow woman, I applaud her.

Quite. My lovely DD works hospitality and has uni in the CBD, and my heart is in my mouth on her behalf.

My post was a reply to thymelord who stated that he/she wished the immediate response was . "Men, stay indoors until you can stop each other raping and murdering".
That would mean men staying indoors for ever then.

I did not ask and no one has has asked women to stay indoors forever..
Seems a tad over the top for thymelord to suggest that men stay at home.

Seems a tad over the top for thymelord to suggest that men stay at home.

But ok for women?

All the police need to do is issue a statement imposing a curfew on men: “Any man seen outside past 10 will be questioned by police”.

Don’t forget that men are also the victims of other men so it is wise for men to stay indoors.

Beyond the anger that yet another woman has lost her life less than 1km from home for the crime of walking home alone, what makes me really angry is the lack of response. It's irrelevant that she was in a park, Jill Meagher was on Sydney Road with loads of cars driving past FGS.

On average in Australia a woman is killed every week by her former or current partner. It's still bloody hard to get any real protection from the law for them or their children. Yet a few young men were king hit and killed and Sydney CBD has had curfew laws implemented and the law (in some states) are changed to double penalties and make the law "tougher".

Crime against women in Australia = have situational awareness aka don't be alone, anywhere, ever. The media also usually describe them as "good blokes" who snapped, and publish photos of them with their children and smiling and so on.

Crime against men in Australia = tougher laws, stronger sentencing, curfews, the attackers are described cowards and the photos are always from the incident or looking aggressive and angry.

In terms of thr whole education/nurture piece, it's not a men problem, it's a society problem.

Each and every rapist has 2 parents who shape them through childhood. As a society, we end up with the product of the children we raise.

Its up to my wife and I to ensure that our son is raised properly. We are responsible for that, not "the men of the world".

If my son grows up to be a vile human being who carries out this type of horrific crime then it will not be the victim's fault but it will also not be a male population fault. My wife and I will be culpable.

Such a tragic loss of life.