To be sick of women being told to exercise 'situational awareness'

[Quantumblue]

In Melbourne we have just had another sickening rape and murder of a young woman. A 22 year old comedian, walking home at 10.30 pm after finishing a gig. Through an inner city park where thousands of people walk, run, cycle and hang out each week.
The police response has been to tell women to exercise caution and situational awareness.
So upset at this loss ( she was at school with my nephew) and so upset that the solution is for women to be more aware. We are all aware of danger every time we go out our front doors.
RIP Eurydice

[Monty27]

FFS why is always women's faults?
For the record Marjorie you are a dick.
I agree with educating men not to assault or rape.

[Iwasjustabouttosaythat]

But women have situational awareness. We spot the creepy looking guy who gets off at the same tram stop. We notice that the street is dark. We walk along with our door keys in our hands.

You can’t just make a sweeping statement like that. It’s not true of all women. I would never walk through Princes Park at midnight alone. I would never even walk through Carlton Gardens at midnight alone. The other woman who was attacked was right next to royal park, alone at night, wearing headphones so she couldn’t even hear her attacker. Did they deserve what happened? Absolutely not! Had they been a few blocks over on Lygon Street would it have happened? Absolutely not.

I desperately wish we lived in a world that wasn’t populated with these types of awful, awful men, but that is the world we live in. It’s horrible but we have to be realistic here. The police are trying to keep people safe. I can’t imagine how frustrating it is to have this happen when an extra 5 minutes added to her trip would have stopped her being killed.

To reiterate, she did not deserve this, this should never have happened and I think everyone is reeling. I just don’t think it’s fair to attack the police who are trying to prevent something similar happening again.

[ShintyFartMuscle]

The part that really upset me this morning was some of the comments on the morning news, that of course women should not be out on their own, ‘it’s dangerous, we know we need to swim between the flags, it’s just the same. Yeah men are as uncontrollable as the current in the sea, they just can’t help themselves from raping and mudering and so women are stupid if they go out, if they work. Fuck we’re idiots if we just exist right NO, NO its the fucking stupid idiots that choose to do the murdering and raping, it is their fault for it happening not hers, R.I.P.

[PintOfMineralWater]

If you tell women to not walk through parks at night, you might as well tell them to not go out at all.

Just thinking of my friend who was raped in broad daylight, on her way home from work in London. And another friend who was sexually assaulted as a child, waiting for her school bus. And, and, and...

I can guarantee if we successfully stopped every woman from walking on her own at night, the next step would be to find something else they are doing "wrong" and stop them from doing that.

That poor young woman.

[ShintyFartMuscle]

Iwasjustaboutto

You think she may not have deserved it, but you are blaming her, just as the police are blaming her and our society is blaming her, because it is easier than blaming the men that do this, it is easier for police to blame her than make the streets safer, and it is easier for society to blame her than have a look at ourselves and how people come to behave in this way

[Iwasjustabouttosaythat]

You think she may not have deserved it, but you are blaming her

Don’t tell me who I’m blaming. This is entirely the fault of the rapist and murderer.

Be honest, what would your advice be to your young DD? Just walk wherever you want honey, it’s your right to do that! No, you would tell her to stay around people in brightly lit areas because even if we should be able to go wherever we want we have to be realistic that if we do we may run into trouble. And I say that as someone who has been assaulted on a bus and in an elevator at a busy shopping centre. The fact is, other people were there to help. And until the world changes and there aren’t predators wandering the streets (which will be never) women may need help nearby.

[Monty27]

So you're a woman and there's men in parks so you can't go there. If you do and then get raped, assaulted or even murdered it makes you culpable.
I wonder what men think of this.

[Coyoacan]

Poor girl, but Marjorie, are you really saying that we should never walk outside at night unless we go in groups?

I am an old lady now but I've always gone out at any time I felt like it, during the day and at night, and mostly alone. I have fortunately never been raped, but my philosophy has always been why take the trauma on board before the catastrophic event.

[Iwasjustabouttosaythat]

just as the police are blaming her

Also I’m pretty sure the police blame him, what with them arresting him and whatnot. If their warning to stay in well-lit and populated areas stops this happening to even one woman then it’s worth it.

[Maidsrus]

I think it’s good advice to practice sotuational awareness.

Men will never stop raping and murdering women. Or other men. Unless we lock them up 24-7.

Yes NAMALT but that’s the only way it would stop. So reduce your risk. Sensible.

[Iwasjustabouttosaythat]

I’m sorry, I find this so incredibly sad and I think when truly horrible things happen you can’t help but go over it and wish there is some way it could have been prevented. That poor, poor woman and her poor family. It’s just heartbreaking. I think we all just wish there was something we could do.

[Kursk]

Situational awareness, and personal security should be automatic to everyone. Knowing your route, having escape plans. Knowing how to defend yourself. That common sense.

If I ever have to go to a city, I plan my routes, I make sure I am armed, I dress down. DH does the same.

All men are not evil, it’s a subset. How/what would you propose teaching them?

[crapp]

if women stopped walking home at night there would just be more assaults in the day.

[Iwasjustabouttosaythat]

I dress down.

So depressing. I know a woman who only wears jeans if she has to get public transport at night. Like that’s going to stop a determined attacker, but how do we live in a world where these thoughts go through a woman’s mind just to go out to dinner?

[crapp]

prevented by castrating disgusting men who go around poking their dicks into anyone without their consent

[Iwasjustabouttosaythat]

prevented by castrating disgusting men who go around poking their dicks into anyone without their consent

And all the first time offenders? How are you going to prevent them?

[Serendipite]

I live very near. :( And it's an area that gets a lot of foot traffic. It's so scary.

[Monty27]

It is depressing. The police (I am in London UK) have had so many cutbacks they are rarely seen anywhere off a main road. There are no provisions for mh or drug addicts or sexual predators to keep the streets and parks safe.
It's a very sad dichotomy of society here.

[TheGingerSnapped]

Rest in peace Eurydice.

[Plattypuss]

I feel terribly sad and very angry that a young woman has had her life brutally cut short because a man was unable to control his repellent urges. The responsibility for her cruel and untimely death lies solely with the person who killed her and to suggest otherwise is victim blaming.

The post by Gingersnapped sums it up perfectly, this kind of crime is statistically less likely to happen than those carried out by people known to the victim, often their partner or husband, so it seems that women will continue to die in such a terrifying and horrible manner.

Eurydice Dixon, I am so sorry that your life was taken from you and I can only begin to imagine how devastated your family and friends are, RIP.

[Graphista]

Wow! 2nd thread I've read tonight with APPALLING victim blaming of women being abused by men.

"Men don't need to be taught not to rape - rapists do but of course they can't." Who do you think the rapists are? They're not weirdos on the fringes of society, they are boringly ordinary men!

Ted Bundy - good looking, charming, fairly successful professionally - even at one point considered a good candidate for political office, fairly successful relationships with women - raped (mostly post mortem) and murdered 30+ women

Peter sutcliffe - considered fairly good looking, quietly charming, unassuming in demeanour. Interviewed NINE times by police investigating his 13 murders, more attempted murders and assaults. His wife maintains she had no idea of his actions at the time.

Being a rapist isn't an "incurable condition" either it's a choice.

Seriously, those of you who think like this please do more reading on rape culture, rape myths etc

There's an infamous piece of research that was done as a questionnaire where a rape was described but not named as such. A shockingly high number of male respondents saw nothing wrong with the scenario.

No we don't live in an ideal world - and we'll never even come close to one until we address and communicate effectively with those who commit rape - men!

Seemingly they DO need taught about consent, entitlement, coercion, CONSEQUENCES FOR THEIR ACTIONS (by not letting them off at court or what I think is worse because they can think even IF caught & convicted I'll probably not get that bad of a sentence! It DOESN'T destroy their lives as is claimed, their families & friends don't only stand by them they actively support them and CRUCIFY victims, they keep their jobs, standing in the community etc)

They're being given permission by the authorities to rape. Hell even murder!

"I dress down" more victim blaming crap!

edition-m.cnn.com/2018/04/16/health/what-were-you-wearing-exhibit-trnd/index.html

[fawkesAgain2]

"Who do you think the rapists are?"

That depends on the country. In the UK they can only be men.

"address and communicate effectively with those who commit rape - men! "

See above. HTH

[Slapbetcommissioner]

Marjorie - wow. Calm. Down. You can't say she would be alive today if she had done xyz because for one thing that's BLAMING THE VICTIM.

Ajas - it wasn't me saying she should have taken a cab.....

[AjasLipstick]

Let's all remember that this is very fresh. Her family have only just found out.

No more shouting.

[Imbluedabadee]

Well said Ajas!

Sorry I said she was 19 in a previous post when she was actually 22.

Reading the quote from the police their advice was to everyone not just women and it seemed like they were trying to reassure the public that they are safe as the murderer is in custody. I have a theory that people like to apportion blame on the victims and believe they would not have done the same thing because that makes them feel safe iyswim? Like posts about walking alone in the dark or wearing short skirts ignoring the fact that the fault lies entirely with the perpetrator gives them a feeling of control because if it's the victim's fault it could not possibly happen to them. I know that's a bit rambly because it's stupidly early but hopefully people understand what I mean.

Rip Eurydice