To be sick of women being told to exercise 'situational awareness'

[Quantumblue]

In Melbourne we have just had another sickening rape and murder of a young woman. A 22 year old comedian, walking home at 10.30 pm after finishing a gig. Through an inner city park where thousands of people walk, run, cycle and hang out each week.
The police response has been to tell women to exercise caution and situational awareness.
So upset at this loss ( she was at school with my nephew) and so upset that the solution is for women to be more aware. We are all aware of danger every time we go out our front doors.
RIP Eurydice

There must be a common link somewhere that we can see,

It’s called Testosterone.

I watched ‘transformation street’ that was a documentary on UK television. There was a man being interviewed on there who had taken female hormones to transition. I remember him saying the following;

“Since reducing my male hormones and increasing my female ones, I no longer HAVE to have sex. It’s not a NEED. I want it with my girlfriend when the mood takes me but before, I absolutely felt I had to shag everything I could all the time.”

All it takes is a little too much testosterone and a too little self control and you’ve got a whole class of dangerous individuals.

is it victim blaming if I put on my most expensive jewellery and take a very expensive phone and camera out into a really rough area at night and expect not to be mugged? Is it victim blaming if someone told me not to cause actions that will increase the likely hood of a crime being committed or is it common sense?

Why don't I leave my Front door wide open people shouldn't rob my house but i don't want to adjust my behavior because i enjoy the nice breeze with all the doors and windows of my home open?

Ok that's interesting, so is it higher than average testosterone that creates these monsters? I know in serial killers they tend to have extremely high testosterone.

Should we monitor and reduce testosterone as a precaution then?

worridmum I'm not sure what your point is.

Being an idiot and walking alone in the park at 10:30 p.m. at night is.

Really? 10.30 is not late. And why shouldn't she because some male arsehole is waiting to kill someone? Maybe the male arseholes could stop killing women (and other men come to that).

Totally agree, I’m not in Australia, but here in Scotland it’s still daylight at that time in the summer. Wouldn’t cross my mind not to walk about my neighbourhood.

And yes, why does at least one man turn up in these threads to try and prove that it’s not all men, and women are just as bad. The murder statistics tell you that it is a man problem.

My point is, is it victim blaming if people told me those actions are silly as i am just inviting for a crime to be committed in a ideal world no one would be criminal scum bags that like murdering, raping, mugging defrauding etc but until the utopia comes about I don't think it is victim blaming to suggest actions that will minimize your risks.

But it is victim blaming to say things like "but what was she doing in the park at that time?" "why didn't she get a taxi?"
No one would ever say that about a man who had been attacked. Him being in the park would be accepted as his right.

agree OP, this mentality is outrageous

friend of mine in India has a brilliant suggestion - compulsory curfew for men. Keep them indoors and out of the way.

But let's say a man goes to the Tenderloin District in San Francisco at 2 a.m. wearing a $5000 suit and carrying his life savings in his pocket. Do we say he bore no responsibility if he gets robbed and that we should just teach people not to rob?

That’s EXACTLY what I’m fucking saying.

Also, my body is not a full wallet. I can’t leave it at home and shouldn’t be more likely to experience violence because I possess it. What the actual fuck with these comments?

friend of mine in India has a brilliant suggestion - compulsory curfew for men. Keep them indoors and out of the way.

Exactly. Until men can stop raping and murdering, they’re not allowed out after dark.

Does that seem fair?

is it victim blaming if I put on my most expensive jewellery and take a very expensive phone and camera out into a really rough area at night and expect not to be mugged?

Yep!
Hope that helps.

I agree that the police could have worded that more thoughtfully. It does feel like someone should have caught how that could be taken at such a delicate time. I do think more can be done for sexual assault to be taken more seriously, particularly with sentencing and media portrayals, though as Bujinkhal eloquently wrote out I think most men and women already know it is wrong and that the idea that teaching people it's wrong further is going to deter or dent the numbers of people who do such horrible things, I'm not sure if there is much evidence for that.

tripYouOut Thank you for posting those articles. I found them interesting and I think it will be interesting to see if the upspike of increased reporting (partially attributed in one of those articles to media attention on relevant court cases as well as changes in the collection of data and in places law to be more sex-neutral) by male victims of sexual assault as well as victims of both sexes to female-perpetrated sexual assault will continue. I wonder if there would be significant reporting differences in places which have a sex-neutral definition of rape in comparison to those, like the UK, which do not. I think far more conversation needs to be had on the significant issues of male violence and the blaming and dismissals of their victims, but that that shouldn't be done by creating a false dichotomy that erases female-perpetuated violence and their victims either. However, I don't think that should be a focus when discussing the after-effects of how police and others are discussing a woman who was raped and murdered by a man.

worridmum Actually, I know what your point is:

is it victim blaming if I put on my most expensive jewellery and take a very expensive phone and camera out into a really rough area at night and expect not to be mugged

I take you are making a rather odd, not to say fucking stupid analogy. Eurydice Dixon was a very attractive woman, by any standards. Which part of her was out of order to be out at night, a provocation? Would you care to elaborate? You mention jewellery, camera, phone. what was she carrying? In what way does this correlate to what this poor woman was to her violator: a vagina.

Yes, you are victim blaming.

Is it victim blaming if someone told me not to cause actions that will increase the likely hood of a crime being committed or is it common sense?

So walking home is a "cause" of the offence?

Yes, you are victim blaming.

@Allaboutalex jeans do make you safer. Sex offenders are known to target wen with clothing that is easy to lift/take off like skirts. They also target women who wear footwear that is difficult to run away in. Wearing jeans isn't a fool proof way to protect yourself against assault but many men would be less inclined to attack you if they think it will be mire difficult than waiting for someone in a skirt. Racecardriver.

Where does one start with the sheer stupidity and ignorance of this comment? Do you believe the ridiculous memes that mention "Don't have a ponytail as your attacker could grab you by it" too? Frankly, I am totally bemused by the tone of many of the comments on this thread and I wonder if some of the people who posted them are related to the person who has been arrested for this crime or if they have some other axe to grind.

Should we monitor and reduce testosterone as a precaution then?

Lol of course not and I’m sorry if anyone thought I was suggesting that. But I do believe the effects of testosterone on the human body cause, in lots (but not all) people, aggression and high sexual urges.

Look at all the terrorists 98% male. Same with serial killers, rapists, sexual offences 96%, violent offences, road rage etc. We all know women commit these too but men are over represented in violent and sexual offences. Nearly all the war mongering dictatorships and despos have been male.

I don’t think women have the answer. I think men who manage, despite having high testerone levels, NOT to commit violent sexual crimes have the answer. Perhaps they could tell other men how they control themselves and leave women to get on with their lives.

It’s a mans problem to solve.

I think monitoring testosterone is an awesome idea.

when I was at school, one teacher said castration isn't the answer for rapists because rape is an act of violence and the man will just go on to commit other crimes. but if we can medicalise them into not behaving this way, I'm all for it.

one attack and you get the treatment.

Lol of course not teas and toast, what are you laughing out loud about? And why?

I'm of the camp that we should be teaching men not to assault and rape. A woman should be able to walk home alone, or through a park without fear for her life.

As an aside, I was listening to some people talking yesterday about things being stolen from a charity shop and one was saying "well, you shouldn't leave things outside like that." For a split second I found myself agreeing and then realised it's that same mentality. Yes, you should be able to leave things outside. People should not take what is not theirs - whether it is property, money, someone's body or someone's life.

Situational awareness is a basic life skill.

"I'm of the camp that we should be teaching men not to assault and rape"

surely a man who actually needs to be taught this has something faulty in the wiring in the first place?!

I’m not going to rely on the rest of the world being kind and gentle any time soon. Naivety is not becoming to adult women.

Situational awareness is a basic life skill

No-one has contested that. Have you RTFT?

Naivety is not becoming to adult women

Who on this thread has proposed this?

Lol of course not teas and toast, what are you laughing out loud about? And why?

At the interpretation of my post that I was suggesting we should monitor male testosterone levels. I thought that was pretty obvious and explained in my subsequent post.

It's a mans problem to solve

I agree with you, historically though we've been pretty damn awful at correcting issues that don't directly affect us as a gender.

This one does affect men too though, it's our daughters, our wives, our girlfriends and our mothers that are getting raped. Not being able to protect the people you love is a horrible feeling. (Or even having to protect them from this kind of thing)

I see attractive women all the time. Do I have the thought, I'd quite like to have sex with her? Sure. (Guess that's the testosterone at work.) Do I have the thought, I might see where she goes, follow her there, see if she lives alone or walks through a quite park etc etc? Not for a freaking moment. It's utterly abhorrent and it amazes me that this thought pattern ever goes through someones head without them pulling up and thinking I'm a freaking monster and I need help.

There's something different about the people that choose to commit these kind of crimes, there has to be. To think I'm capable of it but I was raised properly or whatever is horrifying.

Violent stranger rape is a very specific kind of crime and I believe has a very specific mindset. We need to find what that is and learn to identify it before we can address it. All these other things such as education and curfews will not prevent or even reduce this type of crime.