To ask if you've regretted a location move

[mikado1]

..have you moved back and in what time frame or have you accepted your lot/mistake and got on with it (and if the latter, did you eventually get over it?)

I think our move was a big mistake but I'm not sure where to go from here, if could turn back time, I'd not do it but it's not quite so simple to retrace steps now it's done. Schools and house to be found in a sought after area being the basic issue plus a £40k increase in mortgage.. am I mad to consider it? I'm awake at night berating myself and haven't gone a single day in nearly a year, without thinking of the place and life we left.

Should say move was to hometown, and was what I always thought we'd do but reality hasn't measured up and i didn't realise how much we'd settled in old place as years had passed.

Anyone with advice or experience, would really appreciate it.

Moved from London to Scotland. I've regretted it ever since but my husband and children are happy and settled. I'm stuck there and very sad about it.

This is interesting as I'm interested in moving from England to Scotland, on my own, with 4 kids. My rationale is better environment, free education university wise, and for a new start.
My kids are in secondary.

Miladam I did something similar - I moved from south-east England to Scotland on my own with two kids then at primary school. I had occasional pangs of homesickness for the first few years, but had very few real regrets and looking back I think it was the best thing I could possibly have done. The first couple of years can be hard, establishing yourself and your family, and building a network of friends - no matter how friendly and welcoming your new neighbourhood it's sometimes difficult when you don't have a history with anyone, no-one to reminisce with about shared memories, and no-one just to hang out with. But bit by bit, if you make the effort, that all gets easier. Mostly, I love living where I am, and if I knew before I moved what I know now, I'd do exactly the same thing again. But you do have to be prepared to work at forging a new life and building a new community around you.

I regret moving away. It's made me realise problems don't change.

Moved back to my hometown. Bitterly regret it. Despise it. Been here 7 years.

Moving back to the city I love this summer to go to Uni (at the age of 32 )

Am worried about finding a school as good as the one here - it’s the only good thing about this dump ! But it’s time to leave. Now or never.

I've also moved from London to NI and hugely regretted it at first, even though I'm from here. 6 months in am settling now. I've advise new folks to get onto Nextdoor, it is a great way to get to know your neighbours.

@Luckystar1 we got a packing and removal service from London to NI and it was a bargain at £1.5k - pm me if you like and I'll send you their details.

TheBadgersMadeMeDoIt wow, that's basically me to a T, except I did it (and was v much thinking nos or never at the time!). Exactly that, 'home' had changed over those years.. wish I'd done what you did..

I moved to the city I still live in over 20 years ago - and spent the first 18 months bitterly regretting it. I moved for (now Ex) H's job, giving up my own job, and was just bloody miserable at home with the kids. And then I got another job, I made friends, I explored the city and all was good again. It might just be that you need a bit more time - moving home/location is such a massive upheaval.

Yes. Sold a flat in a lovely part of south east London to move to a house in a well-known town in Surrey. Took on a big commute in the process but I wasn’t happy in London - I love the countryside and wanted more space.

I hate the town we’ve moved to. It’s well-known for being super posh but I find it dirty, crowded, polluted and seedy. I also find Surrey quite a strange place generally.

It is nice to be closer to the countryside though.

I moved from south east just outside London to the south 4 years ago. I hate i. People fantasise about living near the coast but it’s not all it’s cracked up too to be. It’s over crowded, full of pensioners (neighbours don’t move they die) there is nowhere decent to shop and don’t get me started on the snobbery! I have to be here until DP retires or sells his company then we will move back home. I’ve kept property there so I go back once a week to give myself a break

When I retired about fifteen years ago I moved from Fulham in London to a town in Buckinghamshire. While I love my home and garden the town is a huge disappointment, horrible architecture - the planners in the last Century were either blind or on the take, no interesting little shops or auction houses etc.

I have promised myself when I win the Euromillion jackpot I will move back to London - just need to remember to buy the tickets

I moved from London to a small town in the NW for work, just after getting married. It was a big mistake but at the time it felt that I had no choice. I had to stay in the job for two years or pay the company back the relocation expenses but then found a job just outside London and eventually moved back to my original area, near my family.

This was all pre-children so in some ways easier.

@CalvinTheCat Thank you, am checking out Nextdoor now. Also I am so envious of your removal company bargain!

I'm going to bed, as every night, devastated by this decision and going over and over the whole process that got us to this point.. I'm terrified I won't ever get over this mistake and in my heart of hearts I feel I knew it was a mistake and kept going because we were so far in and because DH refused to discuss and reflect on it together- it was something I always wanted and I think he was more 'We've house for sale now so decision made'.. I'm resenting him for refusing to partake in my pros and cons lists and my alternative suggestions-rebt, wait a year etc.. and I don't know now if he'll go back. The mortgage difference will be immense (if we could even get somewhere) Thanks for the comments, they help.

Yes. It never got better, although I did try.

It wasn't worth the unhappiness, so I cut my losses and moved. I would do it again and sooner, much happier now!

The feeling of not being at home where you live is really not a comfortable way to live.

How old are your DC? (Relevant to issues for them if you return). How long have you been living where you now are?

Yep moved out of London and regretted it ever since, I’m also considering moving to Scotland in two years for my daughters Uni but no debt opportunities.

OP, I'm in your position.
Moved 16 months ago a few miles away to my home area for school and a 40k mortgage increase.

I miss my old house every day and didn't realise how settled we were.

In the end we didn't need to move after all that as my DTs go to a grammar with no catchment.

My old area is only 3 miles away and I'd consider moving back but our move was very challenging and the sellers were vile, so it puts me off.

I recently moved from just outside a city I love to a small town.

I looked into it before I came did my research, all seemed well.

It's been six months and I feel like I'm dying. The main issue is how shit the public transport is, I was completely deceived by it and the sheer lack of any culture whatsoever or any decent shops.

When I think about how easy it used to be just to pop for dinner to Wagamama or call into John Lewis for something compared to the almost impossible ball ache it seems now I could cry. I know that's first world and pathetic, but I've lost a lot of my "little joys"

I don't know if I will ever settle here

OP I miss my old area so much too. My DH was also adament we moved when I really knew it was not right.

He loves the new house as it's much bigger so would not want to move either.

I really feel your anguish and regret.

Agree Mr Stark - transport and shops were on my doorstep before.

We moved out of the city when we had our first child. Ex had a very set view on what was an appropriate place to raise a child and good schools etc. We moved to an officially nice posh town in commuting distance but my heart was never in it. I went along with it to keep him happy but in hindsight I really resented him for it. Which was unfair as I did go along with it.

I knew it was wrong when after several years of throwing myself into it and having made lovely friends I still felt like I was living someone else's life.

We left it too long to go back to London - priced out. We did find somewhere else to live but we separated almost immediately after. I don't know the answer. I think if we hadn't moved out we would always have been considering it. I think where we've ended up after second move was the answer. I often wonder what life would be like if we'd done the second move sooner. I think we would have liked living here together.

Sorry that's gloomy. I hope you work out what to do.

I moved last year and hate where I am now. Am planning to move later this year to escape.

I moved and it had a majorly bad effect on me. I regretted it for 3 years, but I’m starting to come around to it now, 4 years in. I couldn’t go back to my lovely, vibrant city as it is too expensive. I’ve had to work quite hard at making a life here, rather than hankering after my old one. It’s not been straightforward but I’m getting to the point where I’m not sure that I would go back, given the opportunity.

Moved from city to rural market town. Hate it. Planning on moving back but it will be a slow process (logistical nightmare).