To ask if you've regretted a location move

[mikado1]

..have you moved back and in what time frame or have you accepted your lot/mistake and got on with it (and if the latter, did you eventually get over it?)

I think our move was a big mistake but I'm not sure where to go from here, if could turn back time, I'd not do it but it's not quite so simple to retrace steps now it's done. Schools and house to be found in a sought after area being the basic issue plus a £40k increase in mortgage.. am I mad to consider it? I'm awake at night berating myself and haven't gone a single day in nearly a year, without thinking of the place and life we left.

Should say move was to hometown, and was what I always thought we'd do but reality hasn't measured up and i didn't realise how much we'd settled in old place as years had passed.

Anyone with advice or experience, would really appreciate it.

[RoboticSealpup]

Yes we moved from London to Hertfordshire. Lasted for two years, which was two years too long, really. I thank my lucky stars every day that we're back in London.

[sleepingdragons]

We moved to somewhere I felt ambivalent about, for practical reasons.

Years later, I'm unhappy, we haven't made a proper community of friends. No jobs here. We're moving.

Not back to London - all my friends have moved out, but to an exciting new city.

[Luckystar1]

@Pp3000 ah where are you moving to? Are you from NI originally? I am, but my husband is English (and my 2 children have always lived in England although they are young so hopefully it’ll be ok!!

We got a quote yesterday from Pickfords which seems like a good one. We have a bit of a weird requirement once we’re home so we need someone who has a base in NI.

We exchanged on our new house yesterday! I’m so excited and nervous!!

[2018Already]

Sorry to start a mini conversation within your thread OP but I feel exactly the same @thelatestone, my view of myself and my self esteem is shot after everything that’s happened never mind the cost to my health. I used to marvel about how women would find themselves in abusive / controlling situations - more fool me.

OP I don’t know what to suggest for the best. I still have my old house in ‘home’ city and I don’t have kids so it would be easier for me to go back one day, but I didn’t realise how much of ‘home’ was tied up in my job and I can’t go back to that. I am becoming happier here, but I’m pretty sure I won’t want to stay forever. I can’t see my husband coming back with me.

[MinesaPinot]

I sympathise OP as I felt exactly the same when we moved years ago from SE London to Kent. I really struggled with the transport links, the cost of public transport (I still commute to London full time and DH does 3 days a week) and the fact that the train service isn't as frequent as what we used to have. We've been cut off in bad weather more times than we ever did when we lived in our old house.

DH settled immediately, but I have taken a lot longer. We've made friends in the village and we feel comfortable here, but it's taken a long while for me to feel like that. In fact, in the first 2-3 years, if DH had offered a move back, not necessarily to our old area, but closer into London from where we are now, I would have taken his arm off.

[Boredandtired]

I relocated from a rural location to a city suburb with a young family. I'd grown up in a tiny village and we wanted the children to have more independence and opportunities than we felt we'd had, husband had similar upbringing to me but even more rural. It was hard. I was depressed for years if I'm honest. I hated it. I craved the countryside and beaches. I missed my family. My husband loved it and the kids adapted well. It's been 10 years now and a mixed bag. For one daughter it's been amazing, she's had opportunities that she simply could not have had where we were before. For another child it was an absolute disaster and I will always wonder if the move was worth it.
For me I feel like I lost my home. Once we'd left I wanted to go 'home' so much, but realised after a few years that I missed the home that was and that if we went back it wouldn't be the same. Places change, people move, time passes. I missed what I had had but it was gone. I still am not sure where 'home' is for me, but I'm trying to make it where my kids are.

[Pp3000]

@Luckystar1 I think we're going to use B-line delivery! Still not booked anything yet though 😬. I'm from Belfast and so is my partner and we'll be moving to Holywood! We've got a 6 month old baby too and we're hoping it'll be a better environment to grow up in compared to London! How about you?

[bigKiteFlying]

Yes - last place we lived.

Move was dictated by DH work went from a city which we loved but been in only three years.

It was a small town which wasn’t so bad when we rented near centre but buying near a good school further out was harder. We tried really hard - used to list all the positives made most of everything we could.

But the locals were never very friendly and while we were near my family but didn’t see a huge amount of them.

Got stuck there 7 years in the end was a huge and surprising relief to move - and we've all benefitted with the new place.

Does take time to settle but sometimes it’s just the wrong place.

[mikado1]

It's taken me a week to find this as it dropped off my 'I'm on' section v quickly!
Anyway thanks for all replies and experiences.

I suppose I'm torn now between go back to where we were or stay and try to put more roots down/settle, as some of you successfully did, but how do I know whether I just need time or of it was a mistake. Dh now has job here if he wants it, we also have a house and school place offered in old place...! So both paths available but next day or two needs a decision and we've a foot down both paths. One is a lot more expensive, but manageable (ie old place) . Advice etc v much appreciated. We're cracking up!! Trying so hard to listen to gut but am not good at it..

[mikado1]

Another musing is, is your hometown always going to feel a bit small after 20years in a bigger place?

[Oliversmumsarmy]

We moved from London because of dps job.

He loved it. I hated every day there. I don't drink, I didn't have children and dont go to church.

Finally after 12 years dp agreed to move. We were sold and moved within 3 weeks. Didn't have anywhere to live, furniture put into storage. I was so happy.

[mikado1]

And did you go back??

[Oliversmumsarmy]

We moved back to London. Where we still are. There was no way I was going to return to that area.

Did move from my hometown as soon as I could. Couldn't stand the place growing up. We moved around the city in my early years. It ranged from deathly boring areas (have seen on here posters discussing areas referring to this one place as boring so I am not the only one) and poverty and crime stricken.
Moved to London at 18.

[mikado1]

Ok wow, after all that time. We really have to decide today... Don't know what to do!!

[GreyCloudsToday]

Interesting the number of Londoners who move and have regrets. I find life here hard and wish for a smaller, more manageable city closer to the countryside. But maybe I'm romanticising too much!

[freegazelle]

Moving from London to a Midlands town for work. Eventually really want to settle in a Scottish city!

I think lots of people move from London to the middle of nowhere countryside. Like some posters say, its good for kids for a few years but then you become a taxi, and its so isolating. I always regretted my parents moving when I was young.

I totally understand moving out of London, as sad as it is - but I say go to go to a biggish town with good transport, or try another city.

[freegazelle]

@Greyclouds

Moving to another city is good idea. I have friends who are very happy in Manchester, Edinburgh, Birmingham for example. I think its when people move to tiny villages its an issue.

[Oliversmumsarmy]

Personally I'd go. If you are not happy then move.

Life's too short to waste.

Imagine lying in bed 10 years from now feeling the same way.

Some places are great for some people. For others they have a different experience.

Even though we were effectively homeless for a few months and had no idea where we were going to end up. It was one of the happiest times of my life. I didn't realise how miserable I was till the removal van appeared and the excitement that we were actually moving started to grow.

[redfox0121]

I moved from all my family in the midlands. To gloucestershire small village. Nice schools low crime nice views. Ans I am sooooo isolated I feel I have lost myself it’s five years here this year. I hate it my husbands family are very close but they have all fallen out with my bastard of a husband. I feel stuck as my three children are doing so well here

[sum1980]

yep, lived abroad for decades. moved back to London (both sides of the family are here) before the lockdown - total mistake but not sure what to do now because of Brexit. DH v v v unhappy about it, am pretty upset but not sure how best to plan our next move. DC still young so in theory, we can move but havent figured out where to.

[BonnieDundee]

Yes. I didnt like new town so moved back to the old one. Regretted it ever since.

[iamyourequal]

Ghost thread- 2018.

[BonnieDundee]

Oh just noticed it's a Zombie thread. I wonder what the OP did.in the end