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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu Neighbour and Cat?

95 replies

ShadowHuntress · 14/06/2018 19:00

Named changed as I am a regular poster and do not want to be recognised

For context, neighbours moved in around 8 months ago and we get on very well. Their kids play with my kids. Kids have been over for movie night, we’ve helped them a couple of times on the school run when mum had her baby a few weeks ago

So I have a 1 year old cat who was only a few months old when they moved. The kids love my cat. We’ve always let them come over and play with her whenever they want. We had her neutered and started letting her out around 2 months ago. Since then, the neighbours kids have been actively encouraging her to go over to their garden. A couple of times I saw them actually pick her up and take her into their house. She didn’t seem best pleased.

Anyway, i had a word to the kids and told their mum that I have no problem with them playing with the cat in my garden or in my home, but please could they not pick her up and take her in their house. She has a condition where she is on lifetime medication that makes her wee a lot and needs contact access to her litter tray. I also mentioned this to the mum.

A few days later I call the cat to come in and hear her meowing. Look up and see her crying and clawing by their bedroom window trying to get out. I went straight over to knock, mum answered saying sorry but she didn’t realise the kids must have taken her up to their room and they’d shut the door so she couldn’t get out. I was a little annoyed but politely asked again to please tell her kids not to pick up the cat and especially not to take her into their house. Reminded her again about cat needing the litter tray.

So, a few days later I hear banging on the door. Mum from next door has come over to tell me that she’s come home to cat locked in their bedroom where she has peed all over their bed. She is now telling me I have to get her a new bed as she can’t get the smell out.

Aibu to tell her it’s her kids fault as not my responsibility to get her a new bed?

OP posts:
wonderfulwelshwench · 14/06/2018 19:04

Gobsmacked! What did you say to her when she came over, OP?

KinkyAfro · 14/06/2018 19:04

Remind her of your conversations, it's not your problem that her kids don't listen.

DoYouLikeHueyLewisandTheNews · 14/06/2018 19:05

Absolutely YANBU. I'd have thought she'd be apologising profusely and hoping your cat is okay not asking for replacement bedding considering the previous conversations.

Soubriquet · 14/06/2018 19:06

Serves her right really

Maybe she will listen next time and tell her kids to stop bringing the cat in the house.

Don't pay her a penny

MissConductUS · 14/06/2018 19:07

Of course it's not your responsibility. You've told her that your cat is not to be taken away like that, let alone held prisoner. It was her kids who catnapped the poor thing and locked it in.

Handsfull13 · 14/06/2018 19:07

Definitely YANBU tell her you spoke to her children about not taking the cat from your garden. You also spoke to her about it and made it clear it was because your cat pees everywhere. You won't be paying to replace anything as they were warned.
I'd reduce having her kids come and play for a while.

LeighaJ · 14/06/2018 19:07

She's a CF, only has herself and her kids to blame.

Racecardriver · 14/06/2018 19:08

What cheek! Tell her that it is a good way to teach her brats a lesson and her too! If she can't control her children then she should be letting them out unsupervised. Your poor cat.

SpaSushi · 14/06/2018 19:09

are you absolutely sure their children took or let the cat in? Years ago our neighbours kitten/cat would frequently wander into our house, sleep on beds etc. As their children have introduced the cat to her house whilst it was still new to the outdoors it may be the cat now considers it part of her range/home and got in on her own.

However i still wouldn't have expected neighbours to get me a new bed if their cat wee'd on my bed...

agedknees · 14/06/2018 19:09

Yanbu. Maybe she’ll keep a better eye on what her kids get up to now.

hidinginthenightgarden · 14/06/2018 19:10

Tell her to take it from kids pocket money. They are responsible for this not you.

Cornettoninja · 14/06/2018 19:10

Well that friendship may be at its end.

Try speaking to her again when the dust has settled. If she can't see that the issue is her kids then that's very much that.

Think you may have to keep the cat outside school hours for a bit though.

DingDongDenny · 14/06/2018 19:11

I hoped you laughed at her - so not your responsibility. She was warned more than once

Iloveacurry · 14/06/2018 19:12

How old are her kids? Are they old enough to be told not to do something and understand? If so, say sorry but you won’t be replacing the bed as they have been told not to take the cat into their house.

Nanasueathome · 14/06/2018 19:13

Even if the cat went into their house unattended I very much doubt she would be able to lock herself in a bedroom

LighthouseSouth · 14/06/2018 19:14

of course YANBU.

She's a one for the cheeky fucker of the year award!

PotteryLady · 14/06/2018 19:14

What did you say? Surely she will calm down and see it's her kids that are at fault.

SilverHairedCat · 14/06/2018 19:15

Her kids shut the cat in their room. Her problem, not yours.

Maybe now she'll make sure they stop locking the poor thing away.

GertrudeCB · 14/06/2018 19:15

Wow, what a CF!
You told her more than once and she still let her kids take your cat. Laugh in her face.

sexnotgender · 14/06/2018 19:15

YANBU. You clearly told her that her children needed to stop taking your cat into her house.
You can see where her children get their listening and comprehension skills from.

MrMeSeeks · 14/06/2018 19:15

Yanbu, id be telling her to tell her kids to leave your cat alone.

RestingBitchFaced · 14/06/2018 19:15

What did you say OP?

CatOwned · 14/06/2018 19:16

Bloody hell, I would have been tempted to smear the bedding on her face. Your cat's got the patience of a saint, mine complains when I pick her for a few moments!

Rocinante1 · 14/06/2018 19:20

Her problem. Stand your ground because you are not the one in the wrong here.

If she keeps on at you, just threaten to take the matter further the next time they steal your cat.

BlondeB83 · 14/06/2018 19:20

YANBU at all! It’s entirely her children’s fault! Tell her it will teach them to listen in future!