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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Aibu Neighbour and Cat?

95 replies

ShadowHuntress · 14/06/2018 19:00

Named changed as I am a regular poster and do not want to be recognised

For context, neighbours moved in around 8 months ago and we get on very well. Their kids play with my kids. Kids have been over for movie night, we’ve helped them a couple of times on the school run when mum had her baby a few weeks ago

So I have a 1 year old cat who was only a few months old when they moved. The kids love my cat. We’ve always let them come over and play with her whenever they want. We had her neutered and started letting her out around 2 months ago. Since then, the neighbours kids have been actively encouraging her to go over to their garden. A couple of times I saw them actually pick her up and take her into their house. She didn’t seem best pleased.

Anyway, i had a word to the kids and told their mum that I have no problem with them playing with the cat in my garden or in my home, but please could they not pick her up and take her in their house. She has a condition where she is on lifetime medication that makes her wee a lot and needs contact access to her litter tray. I also mentioned this to the mum.

A few days later I call the cat to come in and hear her meowing. Look up and see her crying and clawing by their bedroom window trying to get out. I went straight over to knock, mum answered saying sorry but she didn’t realise the kids must have taken her up to their room and they’d shut the door so she couldn’t get out. I was a little annoyed but politely asked again to please tell her kids not to pick up the cat and especially not to take her into their house. Reminded her again about cat needing the litter tray.

So, a few days later I hear banging on the door. Mum from next door has come over to tell me that she’s come home to cat locked in their bedroom where she has peed all over their bed. She is now telling me I have to get her a new bed as she can’t get the smell out.

Aibu to tell her it’s her kids fault as not my responsibility to get her a new bed?

OP posts:

BlondeB83 · 14/06/2018 19:21

Tell her you will be involving the police for them stealing your cat!

amyddss · 14/06/2018 19:23

Don't buy her a thing the CF!!!! You told her time and time again to tell her clearly mannerless children to leave your cat alone, that would honestly make me livid! You owe her nothing, it's up to her to keep her kids under control. If she wants a new bed she can buy it herself and maybe get her children sorted while she's at it.

Original poster

ShadowHuntress · 14/06/2018 19:23

Thanks for all the replies. TBH I didn’t really say much. I was quite shocked at what she’d said and then my lo started crying so I said I’d discuss it with her later and closed the door. Her kids are 12, 10 and a new baby.

I’m pretty certain my cat didn’t just wonder in because the time when I witness them picking her up, she was squirming trying to get away and didn’t seem happy about it. She doesn’t like being picked up in general. She doesnt really go outside of my front and back garden, mostly prefers the front where she sits in the sun. Shes only been going out for the last 2 months so isn’t very confident roaming yet

OP posts:

wormery · 14/06/2018 19:27

Even if your cat wandered over how did it lock itself in the bedroom, you have asked them several times not to take your cat into their house, tell her you did warn her, she can claim it on her insurance and I would keep out of their way for a while and make sure your cat stays in your garden. C.F..

LionAllMessy · 14/06/2018 19:30

You didn't even need the backstory and even your cat's medical problem is irrelevant. If somebody's kids take a cat from the garden (any cat!) and lock it in their bedroom and it pees on their bed, it's obviously not the cat-owners fault! Jeez

Tinkobell · 14/06/2018 19:34

Poetic justice isn't it?! Did she have wax in her ears when you'd had the previous conversation. Your poor cat must be really traumatised now and have a fear of doors being closed, right?! What a problem SHE has now made for YOU! New bed must a house insurance claim she has to make on her insurance ....not your problem. First class cheeky fuckery!

fatwatastic · 14/06/2018 19:35

Honestly, she is a cunty fucker of the highest order.

but

you really need to cat proof your garden so the cat can not get out. If she is on medication then it is not worth the risk of her getting lost or worse hit by a car.

Plus, cats destroy wildlife and persecute hedgehogs. Our hedgehog numbers are estimated to have plummeted to just 500,000 now and are officially classed as vulnerable. We need everybody to keep their cats contained.

Original poster

ShadowHuntress · 14/06/2018 19:35

I suppose I’ve been overthinking it. I just had such a bad experience before we moved here with the most terrible neighbours. I finally get some decent ones, I think I just wanted to hold onto them and not rock the boat. I know inbu but was thinking of maybe offering to have the bed professionally cleaned for her. After reading your replies, I think I’ll just stand firm and tell her it’s not my fault. I will send her off to the pet store where she can buy that enzyme spray that gets rid of the cat pee smell

OP posts:

Tinkobell · 14/06/2018 19:36

She must NEVER have your cat in her home with a new baby OP!!!! It is unlikely but cats can accidentally lie on and smother babies fgs!!! Stupid woman she is.

MorelloKisses · 14/06/2018 19:37

need to cat proof your garden so the cat can not get out

Cats are like houdini, this is not possible

Original poster

ShadowHuntress · 14/06/2018 19:37

I am just going to get her kids bathed and in bed then will go over and have a chat with her

OP posts:

Original poster

ShadowHuntress · 14/06/2018 19:38

I mean get MY kids bathed and in bed!

OP posts:

MorelloKisses · 14/06/2018 19:39

She must NEVER have your cat in her home with a new baby OP!!!! It is unlikely but cats can accidentally lie on and smother babies

fgs yourself!

The children should not be kidnapping the cat, the mother should be disciplining the kids not charging OP, but people can have a cat in their home with a baby - how do you think the millions of cat owners manage? They should not be in the same room unsupervised!

BiscayTrafalgarFitzroy · 14/06/2018 19:41

She must NEVER have your cat in her home with a new baby OP!!!

Eh? What am I supposed to do with my two cats when my baby is born then?

Chocolatedeficitdisorder · 14/06/2018 19:41

Cats are like houdini, this is not possible

It is possible and there are more and more people investing in the right kind of fencing.

MorelloKisses · 14/06/2018 19:43

Chocolatedeficitdisorder plants, trees, sheds, gates etc in most gardens would make that impractical/innefective

nottinghillgrey · 14/06/2018 19:43

She must NEVER have your cat in her home with a new baby OP!!!! It is unlikely but cats can accidentally lie on and smother babies fgs!!! Stupid woman she is.

Oh dear.

Original poster

ShadowHuntress · 14/06/2018 19:46

As I mentioned, it was the neighbours children who were actively trying to get the cat to come into their garden. The cat was very content sitting in the front garden under the windowsill. They picked her up from my front garden and took her into their house.

OP posts:

TwilightSparklePants · 14/06/2018 19:47

@Chocolatedeficitdisorder my parents have fencing like that. It's stops their cats getting out but the neighbours cat still gets in, then can't get out!

Thebluedog · 14/06/2018 19:47

I’d simply remind her of the two conversations you e had with her about her dc not picking up the cat and taking her into her house along with a reminder about you telling her about your cats health. I’d give her details of the spray you mentioned.

I understand you not wanting to fall out but there comes a point that you shouldn’t be a walk over either.

Yanbu op

JamPasty · 14/06/2018 19:48

She must NEVER have your cat in her home with a new baby OP!!!! It is unlikely but cats can accidentally lie on and smother babies fgs!!! Stupid woman she is.

Dear god, have you heard of urban myths?!

OP - I would go one step further and tell neighbour that you'll go to the police if her kids keep capturing and trapping your cat. I would keep your cat in too, to keep her safe from these idiots

Beaverhausen · 14/06/2018 19:49

It might be best to keep your cat in unfortunately.

steff13 · 14/06/2018 19:50

She must NEVER have your cat in her home with a new baby OP!!!! It is unlikely but cats can accidentally lie on and smother babies fgs!!! Stupid woman she is.

My husband's grandmother told me this when I was pregnant with our eldest. Since then we've had multiple cats and multiple babies, and none of the cats has ever tried to commit infanticide.

LighthouseSouth · 14/06/2018 19:52

OP "I am just going to get her kids bathed and in bed"

careful, that will be next on her list of asks

Original poster

ShadowHuntress · 14/06/2018 19:56

I have had quite a few cats over the years as I work for a animal rescue charity. I’ve had them when all 3 of my dc were babies without any issues.

OP posts:

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