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Original poster

When people say "oh I don't have time for that.."

85 replies

DontThinkTwice1 · 14/06/2018 16:44

I'm doing something creative for a competition at the moment which takes a number of hours to do. I was telling some people at work and they said "oh really that's good, I don't have time to do things like that.." in a rather superior tone.

It sounds so condescending as though I must have such an empty life that I have time to do extra things like that. I have kids and a job and do all the usual running around with s family etc so it's not as though I'm sat doing nothing all day.

I often hear this phrase a lot though which is fine because I know people have full lives but I'm sure they do things I "don't " have time for too.

Or people say it when what they really mean is they don't have the inclination/don't want to do it/ it's not a priority etc.

One colleague goes to the gym for instance but I don't say to her "oh I don't have time for that, I do have time it's just I can't be bothered! Wink

So I wish people wouldn't act superior about what they don't have time for! People seem to find time to use Facebook/Twitter/Mumsnet/meds about online which is fine, but I wish they wouldn't make me feel like I must have f all to do in my life other than a creative project for a competition!

OP posts:
SerenDippitty · 15/06/2018 12:55

I agree, what they actually mean by "I don't have time for that is that they choose to prioritise differently.

madeyemoodysmum · 15/06/2018 12:59

Agreed.

I was the same with exercise but now I'm in the routine I'd miss it if I stopped so I make time.
It's all
About
Priorities

NotTerfNorCis · 15/06/2018 13:03

Usually it means they don't want to do something. Like my OH doesn't have time for reading because he's too busy playing computer games.

BottleOfJameson · 15/06/2018 13:03

YANBU. If they're saying it in a condescending way. I probably say "I don't have time for X" when I really mean "I'd like to do X but not at the expense of Y Z and W". On the other hand I wouldn't say it in a condescending way.

MeYouWye · 15/06/2018 13:05

I wouldn't worry about them. I don't have any time for exercise - however I have loads of time for Mumsnet! All about priorities!

VforVienetta · 15/06/2018 13:07

Ha, I get this! All. The. Time. From DSis.
And to be fair, if I did all she does I wouldn't have time either, but I don't care that much about having a tidy house, and would be much more stressed than she is if I kept my house to her standard. So I faff about doing my stuff, and am messy but calm.

TheKitchenWitch · 15/06/2018 13:08

Oh I get this A LOT. I love cooking, and I take quite a bit of time about it, and put in lots of effort with the planning.
You would not believe how many people use that slightly patronising tone saying "oh I don't have time for that". Well no, you don't have time for it because it's of zero interest to you and you don't make time for it. You certainly do make time for things that interest YOU which don't feature in my timetable AT ALL.

Hengine · 15/06/2018 13:10

It’s similar to people saying they can’t afford it. I know sometimes it’s true but often it’s really
I can’t afford it because I’ve spent my money on other things
It’s about usually about priorities

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 15/06/2018 13:12

No, I really don't have time for that, unless it's between having lunch and picking the DC up. I'm doing this Disney thing on here, but I can just log the time we take walking places, running round the park, etc, we wouldn't have time to do anything extra.

Idontbelieveinthemoon · 15/06/2018 13:15

It's another way of saying "nope, don't like that" without having to actually admit that they wouldn't be good at/wouldn't enjoy the thing you're doing.

It's like when you exercise frequently and people say "I just don't have time". Yes, you do. You make time if it's important. It's just not important enough and you don't want to admit to it.

3stonedown · 15/06/2018 13:18

I used to do that with exercise too. Now I have time for exercise but no time for Netflix. All about priorities

MirriVan · 15/06/2018 13:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DuchyDuke · 15/06/2018 13:20

I cook from scratch a lot and always hear this. I’ve started replying back that it isn’t about time but about prioritization and that I don’t watch TV as much to compensate.

FloraPostIt · 15/06/2018 13:20

I once spent several lunchbreaks decorating our floor at work for Christmas, including making lots of stuff from scratch. It looked awesome (although in hindsight was probably something of a fire hazard). Cue sneery person from the ground floor - "you're so lucky that you have time to do that". It was meant as a put-down and she knew it and I knew it. Twat.

MyOtherUsernameisaPun · 15/06/2018 13:25

I HATE THIS! I do lots of baking and other creative things and I get so sick of people saying 'where do you find the time?!' in tones of amazement. The implication is that they could do the same if they weren't so busy (unlike me Hmm). I always smile sweetly and say 'I don't find the time, I make it' - it usually shuts them up!

liz70 · 15/06/2018 13:25

"Now I have time for exercise but no time for Netflix."

Get a mini trampoline and handweights and exercise in front of Netflix. Multitasking!

JobQuery · 15/06/2018 13:26

I'm doing something creative for a competition at the moment which takes a number of hours to do. I was telling some people at work and they said "oh really that's good, I don't have time to do things like that.." in a rather superior tone.

No, they're politely telling you they don't have the "time" (interest) to listen to you talk about something that you know doesn't interest them.

Or their time goes in to other things (that they find more interesting.)

dragontwo · 15/06/2018 13:26

hengine - I disagree. YEs there are cases whereby people have spent their money on different things, but often people don't have the money for luxuries or things beyond their basic living needs and may live very frugally already

Biologifemini · 15/06/2018 13:26

This is what puts too much pressure on people.
At some point you need to say no and have downtime.
Saying I don’t have time is just me being polite. I cannot do everything and you do not know what goes on behind closed doors, thanks....

Idontbelieveinthemoon · 15/06/2018 13:27

I used to do that with exercise too. Now I have time for exercise but no time for Netflix.

I watch Netflix sometimes when I'm at the gym, but when I was on the cross trainer recently watching Santa Clarita Diet (which is really very good) I fell off after laughing so much at Mr Ball Legs and almost got kicked in the head by the chap behind me on a machine. Don't Netflix and Gym, people.

MiddlingMum · 15/06/2018 13:27

I do something which takes a lot of time but I choose to do it and prioritise it over other things. When people say "I don't have time for that" I point out that we all have exactly the same amount of time, to use as we wish.

I think people are often jealous, or realise that they don't manage their time efficiently.

AynRandTheObjectivist · 15/06/2018 13:29

I really think you're reading too much into it. Everyone says they don't have time for stuff, sometimes they're right, very rarely do they mean they are superior. You are projecting.

Mousefunky · 15/06/2018 13:29

Agreed. I also dislike perpetually busy people. Oh but I’m just so busy. And aren’t we all so pleased you took time out of your busy schedule to inform us.

thecatsthecats · 15/06/2018 13:30

I do find it can be six of one, half a dozen to the other, sometimes when someone is showing off what they do and insisting that 'you could do this'!

I don't know if they think they're being encouraging, but to me it's just irritatingly persistent - as if I just go home and sit staring at the walls til bedtime because it didn't occur to me to fill my time differently. Like this woman who use to comment on me eating ready meals at work - "you could cook that, all you need to do, so much cheaper, blah blah blah"... I know how cooking works, thanks, and am aware that it's cheaper.

AynRandTheObjectivist · 15/06/2018 13:31

Why would anyone be offended by someone saying that they're busy?

If I say I'm a busy person, why would you think that was in any way a comment about you?

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