When people say "oh I don't have time for that.."

[DontThinkTwice1]

I'm doing something creative for a competition at the moment which takes a number of hours to do. I was telling some people at work and they said "oh really that's good, I don't have time to do things like that.." in a rather superior tone.

It sounds so condescending as though I must have such an empty life that I have time to do extra things like that. I have kids and a job and do all the usual running around with s family etc so it's not as though I'm sat doing nothing all day.

I often hear this phrase a lot though which is fine because I know people have full lives but I'm sure they do things I "don't " have time for too.

Or people say it when what they really mean is they don't have the inclination/don't want to do it/ it's not a priority etc.

One colleague goes to the gym for instance but I don't say to her "oh I don't have time for that, I do have time it's just I can't be bothered!

So I wish people wouldn't act superior about what they don't have time for! People seem to find time to use Facebook/Twitter/Mumsnet/meds about online which is fine, but I wish they wouldn't make me feel like I must have f all to do in my life other than a creative project for a competition!

To say you don't have time is socially acceptable.

You can't be honest and say what a waste of time it is training for a marathon is or crocheting (for exmaple).

I don't think it's always horrible... can be more like "I don't know how to make time for things like that" b/c they feel swamped with the commitments they have, so a genuine statement about them & not at all the person they are speaking to.

Findo this week there's no way I could have managed my time better. London's a big place and buses are slow.

Monday: psychotherapist's appointment
Tuesday: doctor's appointments for DC and myself
Wednesday: pay in cheque (bus and tube to the nearest bank)
Friday: tour of secondary school for DD

Then I got back, did shopping which always takes about an hour, put stuff away, then straight back out to pick up the DC, then the relentless afternoon/evening routine.

And the only TV I watch is World News and breakfast news, then children's TV, before school.

I find people react the same to what they ‘can’t afford’. It’s very frustrating.

Just about any published author, including me, will have had people say, 'Oh, I've often thought I'd like to write a novel if I had the time .'

They say it as if implying that it'd be so simple if they didn't have far more important things to do - just write one, send it off, and have publishers falling over themselves to buy it. Ha!

Perfectly I could have worded that better - I didn't mean to imply that everyone who feels overwhelmed has a time-management problem, just that some people do (I know I sometimes do). My main point was that I don't find people patronising or condescending when they ask how others find the time to do things.

It's all right, I've just felt overwhelmed this week, with so many extra places to be, and if I had free time, it'd be in the morning, I'd feel guilty and think I should be doing something that needed doing. More busyness tomorrow, at school early so DD can go on the school trip, hang around for 40 minutes until DS2's allowed in the playground, as soon as he's in the building, straight on the bus to the psychotherapist again. Bastard autism.

I could have swung for DH on Monday when he said he only ever sees me lying on the bed.

Hmmm the people with other hobbies seem very superior to those who spend time watching tv. People can spend their time how they like.
And lots of people have no time. Lots watch television while ironing, feeding babies, cooking dinner.
But it’s up to everyone to spend time as they like. Personally I’d love to train to run a half marathon, do another masters degree, see more of my friends, see more of my nieces and nephews, go for more walks with my children and cook more. I genuinely would love to do these things. But nobody has the time to do everything they want.
They are still allowed to wish they could.

I have a friend who is always banging on about how busy she is....she doesnt work and her kids are older but everytime i see her i get the 'ohhh im sooo busy speech'....not sure why it annoys me so much but it does