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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Would you allow your DC to drink at this party?

150 replies

PyongyangKipperbang · 14/06/2018 15:33

DD is 16 and her friend is having an end of GCSE's party. Friends mum is allowing them to have alcohol, but she is sensible so I am sure it wont be gallons of the stuff. Even so I have said that DD is to have no more than 3 drinks on the basis that she will probably have 4, so if I say 4 she will have 5....!

I am happy with this but due to a couple of raised eyebrows after I mentioned it to friends, wondering what others would do.

OP posts:

LoniceraJaponica · 16/06/2018 15:33

Fruitbat DD is the one who looks after the drunks at parties.

Original poster

PyongyangKipperbang · 16/06/2018 16:04

Well for the pearl clutchers and the "She will be plastered" ones amongst you....sorry to disappoint!

She had 2 stubbies and a WKD, I have no reason to doubt her as she showed no signs of being drunk at all. Quite talkative mind, which is how I get after a couple of drinks! I walked to meet her as her friends had had to leave earlier and she was fine. Up earlier than me this morning and no sign at all of a hangover.

I am happy I trusted her and she repayed that trust :)

OP posts:

LoniceraJaponica · 16/06/2018 16:10

Good result

BigSandyBalls2015 · 16/06/2018 16:12

Glad it went well OP, you have to let them do these things and hope that some of the advice you've given over the years has sunk in.

I have two teens and one genuinely hates the taste of booze, has tried diff things but hasn't found anything she enjoys. However her sister more than makes up for it

SomeKnobend · 16/06/2018 16:21

Yes at 16 for a post gcse party where the host mum is going to be there, absolutely. It's good to introduce alcohol in this kind of supervised scenario imo, before they go out unsupervised and completely ignorant of how alcohol affects them and have a skinfull (and a shocking hangover) at 17 or 18.

throwawayagain · 16/06/2018 17:02

My DD 16 year old DD did this on NYE.
I stupidly gave her a Smirnoff Gold with lemonade, so she'd feel grown up. It looked pretty, and she was thrilled.
DP, at the time, was gravely ill. We had called an ambulance, but they were too busy, despite 101 insisting he needed one.
I spent the whole evening dipping between my 3 children, and DP. I was worried sick.
I went to the DCs to celebrate midnight, and noticed that half of the bottle was gone.
Let's just say I had a memorable night, sleeping on the landing between paralytic DD and very ill DP. I had to shower the vomit off her. Was grim.
My DD was then up at 8am, laughing at the whole thing.
DP lost most of his bowel in surgery a few days later.

What a fucking ride that was.

19lottie82 · 16/06/2018 17:13

I would be shit faced after 3 drinks,
comatose after 4. 3 drinks is really a
fukton of alcohol.

It really isn’t. It sounds like you just have a very low tolerance to alcohol.

LoniceraJaponica · 16/06/2018 17:16

I hope your DP has recovered well throwaway

longtallwalker · 16/06/2018 20:22

Glad it went well. She deserved to have some fun with her friends after GCSEs. X

TakemedowntoPotatoCity · 16/06/2018 20:24

Good to hear op. She sounds a lot more sensible than I was.

Original poster

PyongyangKipperbang · 17/06/2018 02:01

She sounds a lot more sensible than I was

This X 1000!

She puts me at 16 to shame :o

OP posts:

SleepingStandingUp · 17/06/2018 03:00

The main thing that age can call you.

I was the only one who could call a parent when we ask drank too much after gcse's and one girl went really drowsy and we needed to get her home. DDad drive her, me and two mates across town to deposit friend with her mom then took me back to the party. He knew I'd call if I needed him

Monty27 · 17/06/2018 03:37

Op i used to let dd have a bottle of my cheapest wine when she was going to parties at that age.
She's nearly 25 now and I call her Saffie so it didn't do her any harm

Bettyfood · 17/06/2018 06:33

I wouldn't specify a number of drinks at all and trust her to be sensible.

I find kids today are a lot better around alcohol than my generation were at their age.

Bettyfood · 17/06/2018 06:35

Ah you did. Well done.

lljkk · 17/06/2018 06:44

"DD is to have no more than 3 drinks"

That OP can dictate that behaviour without even being at the party is so bizarre to me that I can't comment on anything else.

Etymology23 · 17/06/2018 06:49

Sounds more sensible than my 16 year old self by some margin!

Bunchofdaffodils · 17/06/2018 06:53

You sound sensible. My 5 (very square) friends and I after the prom at sixteen shared a bottle of red wine and tried some of someone’s dad’s scotch. Don’t think any of us had really drunk anything before.

BedtimeTea · 17/06/2018 14:29

LoniceraJaponica. I agree with you that it could happen, but I guess I never thought of looking at it that way.

NC4Now · 17/06/2018 19:08

Glad it worked out OP. I was having exactly the same debate with myself on Friday. Trusted my gut, sent him with three bottles of beer, picked him up happy, chatty and able to function properly on Saturday.
I’m not saying he was sober but he was far from legless.

Aragog · 17/06/2018 19:17

DD will be having a drink or two at the post prom sleepover. I know that - infact I have the fizz for them - two of the girls actually won it at an event recently. dd and another friend will have a glass before prom too. There will be no alcohol at the prom itself, so several hours between.

DD has the odd drink at home with us now, and had the odd beer and a couple of cocktails whilst we were on holiday earlier this year - Caribbean and way more relaxed drinking rules)

But there is one alcohol she likes (fizz, fruit ciders, cold lager) and some she really doesn't (spirits, most beer, etc) And she has, so far, proved herself to be sensible. She will usually have one or two drinks max and then switches to either alcohol free or onto soft drinks/water.

I trust her to make the right choices for herself on the whole, but equally know that things can go wrong and they can make the odd daft decision too - and dd knows that whatever happened we will ALWAYS go and get here, always be available at the end of the phone and will come and help her out regardless of day and time, and reason.

Not all teens go out and get completely out of it. There are many, many sensible ones out there. Infact, so far my experience is that these younger teens are often way more sensible than their parents are!

Aragog · 17/06/2018 19:22

@PyongyangKipperbang

That sounds great. Glad she had a lovely evening and proved some of the previous posters wrong too.

sluj · 17/06/2018 19:30

Glad she had a good evening and handled it fine.
Just a note of caution from me though.
My DS16 drinks beer and lager now and then at home and we are fine with that and how much he drinks at parties etc. What I didn't realise, though, was that he had no idea that things like vodka should not be poured out in the same quantities as beer. He genuinely thought vodka would be served in a pint glass too.
I have had him pouring my gin out ever since just to reinforce the message 😉

Original poster

PyongyangKipperbang · 17/06/2018 20:19

That OP can dictate that behaviour without even being at the party is so bizarre to me that I can't comment on anything else.

Care to explain what is so bizarre about discussing and agreeing a drink limit and her sticking to it? I did not "dictate" anything.

OP posts:

lljkk · 17/06/2018 21:18

bizarre = Outside my experience
tbf, most of what folk talk about on MN is like listening to aliens talking about their lives on a different planet

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