Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it’s all very well all this ‘bottle feeding is a Mother’s right’

61 replies

FormulatedR · 13/06/2018 21:31

But when it actually comes down to it, it’s actually a baby’s choice
Bottle feeding may be the ‘norm’ but what if you WANT to ff and CANT

My baby is a total bottle refuser. Short ofwalking out for a few days I can’t see he will ever take a bottle
I also feel the nhs advice about waiting to introduce a bottle is deliberately misleading saying to wait till 4-6 weeks when conveniently a baby then prefers breast. Is nipple confusion really just a myth to stop combi feeding ?
All I know is I’m knackered I stink of milk I have leaky boobs and never any time to myself. I say I’d have to leave due a few days but in reality he would prob still refuse and need iv fluids he’s so stubborn with the bottles
It has just irked me seeing this week in the news about this
It may be my right but can somebody please tell my child that

OP posts:
LittleRen · 13/06/2018 21:32

Have you tried different bottles? I found mam brilliant. Be prepared to be bombarded.

MissusGeneHunt · 13/06/2018 21:36

13 years ago my DS got on well with Dr Brown's bottles. He was/is tongue tied so couldn't BF. Might be worth a go?

YorkieDorkie · 13/06/2018 21:36

Same here OP. I was doing an evening course twice a week at college when DD was born. I dutifully expressed several oz of milk and filled the freezer ready for my evenings away from her.

Would she take a bottle? Would she hell.

She clamped her mouth shut for 4 hours each time. Hmm

I must have a dozen different types of bottle in my kitchen!

Original poster
FormulatedR · 13/06/2018 21:37

I’ve tried Minbie, mam, nuk, chicco and have an advent for next round of trying
Started at 4 w he’s 5 m now and he refuse if I leave the house even
He’s the most stubborn baby ever and I love him but I need a break. Maybe weaning will help but just seeing all this ff stuff has made me angry i feel misled the mw and he were so anti combined feeding and I feel if they’d supported that ‘half way deal’ I’d be happier now but it was all the stress telling me about nipple confusion etc and damamging the gut with even one bottle

Now I have guilt because he screams for me and I end up giving in as it’s easoer but not what I want and if I have another I’m actually out of bf at all

OP posts:
Caspiana · 13/06/2018 21:38

Sympathy OP, that must be so tough and you’re quite right, not everyone can breast feed but it’s good to remember not everyone can formula feed either.

KatnissMellark · 13/06/2018 21:41

My DS was the same. The only thing he'd take milk from that wasn't me (and we finally got there after 11 months and as many different types of bottle) was a lansinoh straw cup. Bought it off Amazon. Best. Thing. Ever. Recommended to me by another mum with a bottle refusing baby. Good luck. It's bloody hard being your baby's only source of food. I'm sure you're doing an absolutely brilliant job Flowers

GummyGoddess · 13/06/2018 21:43

Have you tried a cup at all? Or could you try nipple shields for a bit to get baby used to the feel and then maybe sneak a bottle there in place?

I'm with you, I think nipple confusion is a load of crap to increase breastfeeding rates a bit longer. I'm also breastfeeding dc2 so not against it, just think that the way it's 'sold' to mums is awful and full of half truths.

MuddyForestWalks · 13/06/2018 21:43

DD was the same. The only time she ever took a bottle was at 3 months, I was emergency hospitalised (anaphylaxis) and she stayed with DH. She went eight hours before she gave in, drank a bottle, threw most of it up, went to sleep, and never drank from a bottle again. She waited until I was discharged for her next feed (AND the gap between feeds gave me mastitis). Tried every bottle milk cup and teat on the market. She refused all dummies too.

MuddyForestWalks · 13/06/2018 21:44

Oh and an early bottle might not have helped, DS got a dummy and EBM from early on then one day just point blank refused, no warning.

NewYearNewMe18 · 13/06/2018 21:44

Get a wet nurse?

Wallywobbles · 13/06/2018 21:47

I hated breast feeding. I was smacking the furniture with pain when they clamped on. I mix fed with mine pretty much from the get go. DD2 I managed first and last feeds and bottle fed the rest. At 5 weeks just Ff.

DrWhy · 13/06/2018 21:47

I had exactly the same, we started with a bottle at about a week but stopped for a few weeks when I just couldn’t be bothered to pump from 8 weeks he never took another bottle. When I went back to work when DS was 9 months he still wouldn’t take a bloody bottle, reverse cycled and fed all night instead.
I am pregnant now and this one will have a bottle at least every other day from week one and if I don’t have the energy to express it will have formula! My SIL gave an expressed bottle every evening (or rather her DH did) and it meant that when she returned to work she had already transitioned him nicely to formula.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m very glad I breastfed DS and we kept it going until 16 months but that 3 months when I was working before he went onto cups of refrigerator cold cows milk at a year (he wouldn’t have expressed milk from a cup!) were just hideous.

anothergreentomato · 13/06/2018 21:48

Same happened here with my first, so much so that I haven't been bothered trying with the second. Sympathies, it is hard losing your freedom. I agree there are a lot of myths around, and I just naively assumed that I could just express some milk (turns out not so easy!), or leave some formula and give in a bottle when I wanted a break. Not true at all for me or any of my friends either. I'm sure if I'd persisted and it was absolutely necessary it may have been achievable but the amount of effort which would have been required to get a couple of hours off once a week just wasn't worth it.

SandyY2K · 13/06/2018 21:48

This is why I used breast and bottle from week 1.

I didn't want to be forever saddled to my kids and I wanted DH to feed them if I wasn't around and hadn't expressed milk.

Having said that Dsis did the same, but one of her DC just refused the bottle...she would scream till she went red (and she's not white)... one day I dragged Dsis out and said her DH would have to give her the bottle if she woke up... as I believe he caused the problem.

SandyY2K · 13/06/2018 21:49

Typo...

as SHE believed he caused the problem.

Foodylicious · 13/06/2018 21:50

I don't know if this is any reassurance OP, but I know a few babies that have taken a bottle early on, then refused to agsin around 3-5 months...

peanutbutter310 · 13/06/2018 21:50

I told midwives and HVs throughout that I wanted to mix feed, and got the standard advice and scare stories to wait 4-6 weeks. Then when it got to 4 weeks, and of course she wouldn't take a bottle, they just shrugged it off 'some babies get used to bf, and then won't take a bottle'. I asked for help at baby clinic but got absolutely no advice, mostly just lots of questions about why I didn't want to ebf.

Luckily, DD finally relented around the 6 month mark. It just seemed to click with her one day. But it was a real struggle. You poor thing.

cadburyegg · 13/06/2018 21:51

Sympathies op. I have heard simply persevering can do the trick. If it doesn’t then it does get better. In a month you will be introducing solids and a couple of months later you’ll be able to leave him just with solids for a few hours. At 9-10 months babies who are eating solids well can cope without milk if Mum goes back to work. It seems endless at the time though, I know.

spugzbunny · 13/06/2018 21:51

I know everyone will suggest different bottles but try a NUK with a latex teat.

cadburyegg · 13/06/2018 21:53

Also wanted to say that DS1 took a bottle well from about 2 weeks old. I went out for several hours with friends when he was 6 months old. Got back to find that he had totally refused the bottle, he never took one again!!

EveMoneypenny · 13/06/2018 21:53

Same here, nearly 8 months in and every single feed has been bf since he was 10 days old. He thinks a bottle is an interesting novelty and he's willing to chew the test and very slowly take 10-20 ml but he will not take a proper feed. I've pretty much given up trying as I hope he should be down to just morning and bedtime feeds by 12 months. We shall see...

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 13/06/2018 21:54

Yep we have a bottle refuser. She teased me for 3 moths before deciding never again. I think in an emergency my husband would have to feed her 5ml at a time with a calpol syringe. My first was the same and while it was afull at the time...by 10 months she was down to 3 feeds a day and by 12 months just 2 and i could miss one out without harm and as soon as I wasn't tied to her baby more it was all forgotten about

user1495490253 · 13/06/2018 21:56

Cup feed. Perfectly safe from newborn. Try a Doidy Cup, but any cup will do. Otherwise, a syringe is a good bet.

Original poster
FormulatedR · 13/06/2018 21:56

It was just soul destroying the night I felt so bad and beat myself up that I wanted to stop bf and really tried to get do to give formula and no wouldn’t work and that big decision that I needed to work didn’t and I feel trapped so much so that I’d ff from birth any others I love ds but it’s relentless
Really hoping weaning helps. Literally sitting on my hands for another month but v tempted to start early

OP posts:
fourandnomore · 13/06/2018 21:57

My first was the same. It's all consuming. I went out for a day when she was about 4 months and had expressed for weeks to prepare and she did take it in the end as I wasn't there and she was hungry. Also, I used breastflow bottles which have two layers and work similarly to breastfeeding. Look them up and see what you think. I bought a pack of four, sterilised them for my youngest twins but they didn't take them at all, so three are completely unused. If you want them I will happily post them to you as soon as I can find them, just pm me. It will get easier once weaning starts too as the time between feeds might increase so you will feel slightly less stuck if you know what I mean. I totally sympathise though.

Swipe left for the next trending thread