To think it’s all very well all this ‘bottle feeding is a Mother’s right’

[FormulatedR]

But when it actually comes down to it, it’s actually a baby’s choice
Bottle feeding may be the ‘norm’ but what if you WANT to ff and CANT

My baby is a total bottle refuser. Short ofwalking out for a few days I can’t see he will ever take a bottle
I also feel the nhs advice about waiting to introduce a bottle is deliberately misleading saying to wait till 4-6 weeks when conveniently a baby then prefers breast. Is nipple confusion really just a myth to stop combi feeding ?
All I know is I’m knackered I stink of milk I have leaky boobs and never any time to myself. I say I’d have to leave due a few days but in reality he would prob still refuse and need iv fluids he’s so stubborn with the bottles
It has just irked me seeing this week in the news about this
It may be my right but can somebody please tell my child that

No harm in starting to wean at 5 months.

Op, I hope you are getting decent support. Or even half decent support. I hope you find a way that works.

I had to use a cup. Neither of them ever took a bottle. It was ok once they got used to it. :)

Oh, OP, my massive sympathies. That was my DS2 (after ‘whatever the milk arrives in is fine by me’ DS1). It’s so relentless. And everyone has their pet favourite bottle for you to try, as if you haven’t already spent £100 on EVERY KIND OF BOTTLE EVER MADE.

DS2 finally cracked at 9 months. It was a long 9 months, especially in the early days when he had a latch that left bruises.

I really feel for you. I had this and it was so claustrophobic. We managed to trick dd into taking a bottle once in her sleep. Thought we’d cracked it, but no. I think she caved around ten months in the end. The straw bottles were what did it. She finally took a baby bottle when she was old enough not to need one.

Sympathies OP, tried FF and dummies with all 4 DC (with less effort with each subsequent dc) different brands of bottles/formula/expressed, cups, spoons, different times of the day/night, diffferent people and nothing worked. DSis mixed within the first week and DN took to it no problem even with tongue tie. DH and family were so keen to help as well. Yes I wanted to BF but it would have been nice to have had the option/breather to hand baby over to someone else once in a while and let’s face it the enormity of being the sole supplier of your baby’s nutrition can feel suffocating and daunting at times!

If it helps, after a major temper tantrum (mine) a friend told me to remember that it really is just for a short time and it goes quickly. It did sometimes help to remember it would end sooner than I’d think.

I had one of those babies who happily bottle fed until 4m and then just refused. Never did it again. I went back to work at 6m and he reverse cycled and fed all night for the next 5 months until I started night weaning him (which was horrendous).

I used to scream with frustration at all the welll meaning advice. He. Just. Would. Not. Do. It. The longest we left him was 30 hours at about 8 months and he had about 2 oz of milk that whole time.

Sympathies, op. I look back on it and wonder how I didn’t go insane.

If it helps it probably doesn't but neither of my dc took a bottle. I wanted them to, to give me a break sometimes but they refused. They are 8 & 5 respectively now and I've forgiven them. And I enjoyed bf in the end. I like your stance that it's baby's choice - so true!!

Are you near London or Home Counties? there's a private breastfeeding counsellor/midwife called Claire Byam-Cook who is able to get bottle refusers to take milk - not sure if she's still working or has retired but PM me if you'd like her number. Could be money well spent!

Bless you. Some of them are bloody stubborn! And TBH it doesn't seem to make much difference if you introduce a bottle early or not. If they decide they have a preference they just go for it. Other babies are totally chilled out and don't care even if they've never had one before. I don't think it's anything you've done.

One of my NCT friends tried everything and finally had success with using old fashioned latex (brown) teats. That was the only thing which worked.

I've been where you are, and very recently too. The cup worked a treat, and then for convenience sake I got MAM cup spout teats where the baby can control the flow of them and hey presto, happy days. There was a battle as I reduced the feeds but by having lots of other people feed her and if I had to feed her I faced her away from me, we got there in the end. Good luck.

Lots of sympathy. My DS also refuses a bottle point blank, I have every make and model stuffed in a cupboard in the kitchen. I wanted to stop bfeeding so badly. Once he started weaning, I got a bit of a break and eventually had success with cow's milk in a doidy cup. This moved to milk in a munchkin 360 which he loves. He's 13 months now and I'm preparing to stop feeding him completely by cutting back feeds and putting in more cups of milk. I never thought I'd get to this point but it's looking like we can finally stop in the next couple of weeks.

We started at 2 weeks as was concerned baby would refuse. My HV just said wait till bf was established, which we were around day 10.

I think the 4-6 week guidance is way too long

My eldest was like that. Only stopped when I couldn't produce any more milk. I'm pretty sure that ff isn't the norm anyway if that is any comfort.

Sympathies OP.
And fair play for being brave to say this.

I have only had the option to ff both of mine (though originally wanting to bf both but it didn’t work out that way!). I can honestly say though that I still stink of milk (although not so bad since introducing weaning - 3/4 meals a day and only just gone 5 months!) but if I left the house, I had to have at least 5/6 bottles for haunts of around 3 hours as both mine were so hungry! I wished I could just BF but I wouldn’t have produced the milk that both needed. 4 oz at 3 weeks old😂 and a feed every hour on the hour....and the prep and the cost and the worry of running out of milk (especially with all the bloody storms that we had this year and shops running out of stuff-I’m in Ireland btw!)

I’ve heard it does get easier but teething is probably playing a big part right now and the comfort and knowing you’re there. Weaning May lessen it- we’ve seen a massive change and it was on recommendation of gp and health nurse over here, but whether FF OR BF, it’s hard both ways but in different ways. And we all end up covered in milk and spew. My eldest never took a bottle past 16 months, and this one won’t take a cup- just a bottle and usually only me! So each kid is different. There is light at the end of the tunnel

My DS has had one bottle of formula in his entire life and he vomited violently for 24 hours afterwards. I felt so guilty that I didn't try again. He's still EBF and I'm looking forward to weaning so I'm not the sole feeder!

Dd was a bottle refuser, but she had to take a bottle because she needed extra high calorie formula for a heart condition. In the end we got something from America called playtex which was the only thing she would take. Will try to post a link.

www.playtexbaby.com

Incredibly environmentally unfriendly but they worked.

I've had two bottle refusers. Second time was easier having already survived the first, and knowing how happy they can be within their stubborn zone. I also had a better breast pump for dealing with engorgement, even though all that milk went to waste!

First time had some rough moments. I struggled to express, and DS's CMPA wasn't identified until he was 1 so it turned out I'd been trying to force feed him an allergen (insert big dollop of maternal guilt). The lowest points were the 5 month growth spurt/ sleep regression. I did manage to give him a bottle as a once off there in a desperate attempt to sleep for more than 90 minutes... with hindsight that was the cause of months of head to toe eczema.

The other low point was about 9 months when we attempted to introduce a bottle ready for nursery. Total fail. We tried only offering a bottle all day but he miserably held out until I was crying too and suffering with engorgement. I vowed never to repeat that with him or any siblings again. He did not care for any of the bottles in the collection, warm milk, cold milk, the paltry amount that I could express...

But... it does get easier as they wean and feeds space out. If you're not there, they are less tempted to have milk and can hold out longer. Taking to cups when we started weaning was handy. I managed to spend 4 days away from DS2 when he was 12m. Despite still being a milk monster (directly from source only), he was happy enough in my absence. It was me and the breast pump that suffered! I did manage to return to work and have some independent life around their needs.

Oh this sounds incredibly tough op .

We have the opposite problem, as ds now refuses to breastfeed . So I’m pretty much exclusively pumping now . I don’t want to stop giving him breast milk yet, as I’ve spent this long establishing a good supply for him. But oh, the pumping! So much pumping. He’s 20 weeks old now and I am hoping that when he tries some food in a few weeks, he might need a bit less milk and therefore fewer pump sessions for me!

Good luck!

I have no personal experience, as dd (dc1) was pretty easily pleased (“I don’t care where it comes from as long as it’s milk”). But some friends of mine swear by doidy (sp?) cups for determined bottle refusers.

Mine was the same but changed at about 6 months (luckily as I had a weekend away booked!!) I went on a bit of a diet so I think my milk changed and he didn't like it, then he couldn't drink the formula fast enough! 5 years on I actually feel nostalgia for all those breastfeeding months!!

I don’t have anything new to add except solidarity. Exactly the same here. Also with dummies. I now (looking back on it) think nipple confusion is a fucking lie made up to make you feel more guilty about things. I reckon weaning will help as it’s something else to distract them!

My second was a bottle refuser you have my sympathy. We tried every type of bottle, fomrula (spent a fortune) breastmilk, water, various temp, different people, different positions, me in different rooms, me not in the same house, me away for a couple of hours. She just point blank refused.