To be effed off at a friend's Facebook status

[BuggedLife]

Gushing about how hard her partner provides for her and their child, they receive no handouts and how even though he works a lot, the time he has with them is quality time.

Innocent in itself however what is hidden here is that she doesn't mention the fact that she also has DLA for her child and a DLA car (with her driving lessons and test recently funded by the DLA) and that only last month a case against her benefit fraud was dropped - benefit fraud to the tune of £11,000 over the space of about a year which although the case was dropped, she had claimed the fraud (I know this for a fact).

She lives on a newly built housing estate but only got that because she left their private rented home when they split up and got social housing which was a rubbish house but then managed to get a new build social housing house on a new affluent private housing estate due to her child's needs.

In this status she had the cheek to say they don't get any handouts! So what was the extra benefits they claimed!!!?!!!

FWIW I believe DLA is a right no matter what a persons income? I don't begrudge that & she is a good Mother to her child and meets the childs needs well. This is not bashing DLA claimers.

because she is implying that the top of the range new registration car she has and the swanky house on a coveted private housing estate are down to her husband working hard in his career.

Does it really matter if this is what she is implying? People lie on social media. It's basically a big PR platform that lets people try and present the image they want to present. Think of all the happy couple pictures people post while behind the scenes they are anything but.

YABU to care so much about this.

Just unfollow her. I unfollow people if they post anything annoying/smug. My feed is largely news and memes now.

Ignore it.

Someone on my friends list posted a gushing post about how she's just traded up to a £500k house, thanks to all the hard work she and her partner have done to improve previous homes, having had no training in this except Youtube videos.

What it doesn't mention is the fact that both her father and her husband's father have done a lot of the labour on every one of those homes for free, and both are trained professionals! She also had serious help with her deposit!

Boasting about wealth or a 'hard-earned' lifestyle are seriously classless things to do. Implying that other people can have the same thing if they just try harder when you are the recipient of a ton of help is still more tasteless. Many people work very hard their whole lives and have very little to show for it.

The sheer lack of reading comprehension in this thread is fucking frightening.

You sound like a bunch of halfwits! Baying and shrieking in outrage because the word "handout" was used by the OP

CONTEXT IS ALL.

@colditz

It wasn't even my choice of words, it was the word used in the status!

I tried to point this out. Got nowhere.

She’s not married, a SAHM with a DC with additional needs and receiving benefits. Her financial and personal situation should her relationship end again would be difficult. Think you’re being harsh OPz

Yes @strangelookingparasite , it's really fascinating to see how many sub-arguements can come from one person explanation of a situation!

Yup, so many people are missing the point of the op completely.

passing off gains from DLA

You sound like you do begrudge her these payments. DLA is not a gain - it's designed to cover the additional costs of looking after a child with additional needs. Costs which wouldn't arise if the child was able bodied/NT.

I used to be the person that was proud of not receiving "handouts" because my exh has a good job. Then we divorced and I had to claim full benefits.

Pride always comes before a fall. I've learned my lesson.

Handouts have negative connotations here, but dla is a handout. A right and justified handout; it is as it should be, as are many other benefits. But the point is why would you post it and scorn other people for getting their right and necessary handouts/benefits too? Very few people abuse the system. What was the point in her posting on Facebook other than to try to convince others/herself that her handouts/benefits were better and more worthwhile than others? Maybe the woman didn't indeed to insult other benefit receivers but she has inadvertently done so, by posting that it's because of their hard work - by implying that others don't.
That's what the op is moaning about. Not the benefits themselves.

Bitchqueen - My friend used to work in the job centre. She said that one of the most common phrases she heard was "I never thought this would be me". People who have come from secure lives and backgrounds without significant setbacks or ill health often don't realise to what extent they are basically really lucky.

I begrudge someone passing off gains from DLA

In what way is DLA a gain? DLA & carers allowance combined make up less than 10% of what I would be earning if my child was not disabled. Over a lifetime I have lost a staggering amount of money. Over ds’s life time he will have lost far more.

I’m not grateful for DLA.