To be effed off at a friend's Facebook status

[BuggedLife]

Gushing about how hard her partner provides for her and their child, they receive no handouts and how even though he works a lot, the time he has with them is quality time.

Innocent in itself however what is hidden here is that she doesn't mention the fact that she also has DLA for her child and a DLA car (with her driving lessons and test recently funded by the DLA) and that only last month a case against her benefit fraud was dropped - benefit fraud to the tune of £11,000 over the space of about a year which although the case was dropped, she had claimed the fraud (I know this for a fact).

She lives on a newly built housing estate but only got that because she left their private rented home when they split up and got social housing which was a rubbish house but then managed to get a new build social housing house on a new affluent private housing estate due to her child's needs.

In this status she had the cheek to say they don't get any handouts! So what was the extra benefits they claimed!!!?!!!

FWIW I believe DLA is a right no matter what a persons income? I don't begrudge that & she is a good Mother to her child and meets the childs needs well. This is not bashing DLA claimers.

We live on "handouts", My H is disabled with MS and I'm his carer. We have an amazing life in our council flat (not). Don't be such a cow.

Anyone who has to boast about their life on FB or in RL is actually very unhappy.

People who are happy with their lives don't go around boasting as they don't need to.

People only boast because they think that if they say the same thing over and over again that they will start believing that they are actually happy.

I don't understand why people are making a point that the woman deserves benefits, obviously she does. The op was saying that it's awful that the facebook post claimed that the woman did not recieve hand outs (implying benefits) when she does recieve benefits, I don't see the problem?

Hmm I'm not sure why people are jumping on the DLA bandwagon - I clearly stated I do not begrudge the DLA. It was only mentioned to provide information on the overall financial picture.

I have NOT referred to it as a handout. My reference with the handout is the benefit fraud, which was fraudulently claiming as a single parent (nothing to do with DLA).I'm not going into why they have DLA but yes that is a genuine need and I don't dispute it.

I'm still baffled at how anyone reads that first post and comes to the conclusion that I begrudge the family their DLA. Perhaps what I need to add is her partner brings in a good income however they still committed benefit fraud. Even without the DLA they would have a good income.

Hope that clears things up.

PS if someone is investigated for benefit frauds, tells you they committed it and provide details of what they claimed and when as well as how they finally got away with it, then chances are they committed benefit fraud!

Must add, they didn't set out to claim fraudulently at first but let the claim run on. There was regret when caught and it caused a lot of stress but in black and white she did commit benefit fraud and therefore had 'handouts/venefits' and THAT is my issue.

But hey if some of you think you know my feelings better than me regarding the legitimate DLA claim then who am I to argue...it is a bit boring though that you pick out the easiest and most basic arguement you can which is generally not actually what this post is about. Hey, it probably makes you feel good though even though you actually don't know anything about MY personal circumstances. How do you know that I don't also get DLA? Maybe I do, maybe I don't. Doesn't change the point or purpose of my post.

No I never reported the fraud, I didn't know about it until I was made aware of the investigation.

likelyLilac

"I don't understand why people are making a point that the woman deserves benefits, obviously she does. The op was saying that it's awful that the facebook post claimed that the woman did not recieve hand outs (implying benefits) when she does recieve benefits, I don't see the problem?"

I wasn't really referring to her handout as the DLA - it's the benefits claiming fraudulently, they were an illegally obtained 'handout'

The op wouldn't be moaning if the friend was not posting anything. It's the self satisfied denial that the op is pissed off about. If they hadn't have said what they had, there wouldn't be an issue. But why say what the friend did, when it is blatantly so factually incorrect?

Yeah there would be way more housing for the poor and vulnerable if anyone could just have one.

Sure there would.

Yes, there would.

Because everyone would have a stake in social housing, not just the desperate. Not just those whose lives have collapsed. Social housing used to be a step up to a better life, not an alternative to the street.

The introduction of waiting lists by need, was the beginning of stigma. And stigma is the beginning of the end of anything positive.

@snewname

Younahve just explained beautifully what I was trying to explain. It's not what she has or why she has it that bothers me, it's the fact that she is trying to present it all as something earned by her partner working hard.

I never understand why anyone feels the need to share such detailed private information about their family lives / finances on social media, it’s weird.

Original post said - you don't think her posting that her husband supports there family without claiming benefits when they do recive benefits because, they have hs house in nice part of town, mobility car, lessons and driving test paid for, dla, and commited £11k of fraud.

That reads to me you begrudge her getting help to support her disabled child and feel the disabled child is what's helped them financially, as well as the fraud. It sounds like you also feel they should reject some or all of the help - you admit you think she shouldn't get the house.

Just because you put that caveat at the end you think it looks like your not begrudging her gov help. If you didn't you would have only mentioned the fraud.

In my honest opinion, it's none of your business.

it was a bizarre post.

I'd be tempted to do a scratchy head emoji ''em you alright there? hate the term handouts, not like you to say something so unpleasant''

Oooh this sounds so mean!

Not good. Drop it and stop reading her posts.

You sound jealous.

@Disco2018

Or what if I actually don't begrudge the DLA and that's why I wrote the 'caveat'🙄

I can't say it any simpler -

I begrudge someone passing off gains from DLA and benefit fraud as something earned by working hard, making others feel bad about their situation when they only divulge the flattering information.

I'd say something if I were you. So she can fuck you off.

You sound like a nasty piece of work.

What is DLA?

I know someone who gets £1600 in dla a month for her and her kids plus working tax credits,carers allowance and etc lives in a housing association house and all that...but she is exactly the same constantly going on about "I pay my rent I don't get hand outs" I work I'm not a scrounger yada yada yada...it's annoying as yes she does get handouts yet she is slagging off everyone else for it like she is better.

Sounds like she’s saying they don’t qualify for any means tested benefits because her oh is on a good salary. Not something I’d put on Fb but meh.

I begrudge someone passing off gains from DLA - as something earned by working hard

So you don't think caring for a disable child is working hard?

DLA is not gains, it's money to help you support a disabled child. Most children with disabilities can't go into child care so the parent can't work. Disabled children are also very expensive.

DLA is not a nice top up to your income, as you seem to think, it's to cover the expense of a disabled child and to make life a bit easier and more bareable for the family.

I know someone who gets £1600 in dla

Unless she has 3 disabled children I think that's unlikely. Are you sure the £1600 is not the total amount she gets from all her various benefits.

Disco no she gets it and 3 of her kids £440 each a month so it's more than £1600 really

Her kids aren't physically disabled though.