To be effed off at a friend's Facebook status

[BuggedLife]

Gushing about how hard her partner provides for her and their child, they receive no handouts and how even though he works a lot, the time he has with them is quality time.

Innocent in itself however what is hidden here is that she doesn't mention the fact that she also has DLA for her child and a DLA car (with her driving lessons and test recently funded by the DLA) and that only last month a case against her benefit fraud was dropped - benefit fraud to the tune of £11,000 over the space of about a year which although the case was dropped, she had claimed the fraud (I know this for a fact).

She lives on a newly built housing estate but only got that because she left their private rented home when they split up and got social housing which was a rubbish house but then managed to get a new build social housing house on a new affluent private housing estate due to her child's needs.

In this status she had the cheek to say they don't get any handouts! So what was the extra benefits they claimed!!!?!!!

FWIW I believe DLA is a right no matter what a persons income? I don't begrudge that & she is a good Mother to her child and meets the childs needs well. This is not bashing DLA claimers.

Ok @Disco2018 I think most people could summise I meant that as 'working hard in a career not related to being a parent of the disabled child' 🙄

Why do you continue with this when I have stipulated time and time again I have no opposition to the families claim to DLA? Are you prejudice against people who don't have disabled children?

Jeez there are a lot of threads on here today, from women who are jealous and spiteful and mean about other women, and are bashing and berating and being horrid. WTF is wrong with the women on here today? Get out the wrong side of bed did ya?!

she gets it and 3 of her kids £440 each a month so it's more than £1600 really

Which suggests agree gets Hough rate care and low rate mobility which would suggest the kids have quite complex needs. So you think they should only pay out for the first one and the rest can just be less disabled and less expensive?

Her kids aren't physically disabled though.
And?

Why didn’t you leave the DLA part out of your OP? It’s like the opposite of drip-feeding. It’s irrelevant detail that detracts from your apparent point (fraud, she’s admitted it to you and then said her DH provides everything).

I think the state is getting an absolute bargain with £1600 a month for care for 3 children who qualify for that level of dla.

@PandaPie because she is implying that the top of the range new registration car she has and the swanky house on a coveted private housing estate are down to her husband working hard in his career. So the information was needed for context.

I do get you OP. I'd never go online and talk about how my husband provided everything we have because I'm fully aware that between the DLA, carers, tax credits and CB he doesn't and it's rather disingenuous to suggest otherwise and rather tacky to brag about anyway.

I get you OP, but I think most people would have understood your point if you ddnt mention DLA, because all they're thinking about now is the poor disabled child instead of the actual point you're trying to make.

This seems to be a common occurance on MN whereby you start a topic discussing cats but everyone comes on and changes the topic and starts discussing dogs. it's annoying !

You should have just said your friend is also claiming benefits and left it at that.

I understand what you were saying in your first post. Her post isn’t very nice about others because it’s based on comparisons and reminds me of the two Ronnies sketch, where the characters said something like “I’m decidedly better than you”.

You really lost me on the housing bit. Her house is likely to have needed adapting, which not many private landlords allow. As for buying her home, that’s hardly going to be possible unless her partner is on mega bucks. As others have said, she’s sending a message to whomsoever grassed her up and it isn’t about society in general.

I understand your frustration about her supposedly committing benefit fraud and boasting about it but it isn’t the way to go about it.

The friend was being objectionable in using the word handouts and if she thinks people should be looked down on for claiming benefits.
You were objectionable in bringing up her child getting DLA and gaining from it. She won't be "gaining" from it because it only goes towards the extra costs of disability. It doesn't make you better off financially than someone who isn't disabled.
You don't get extra DLA for driving lessons or to pay for the test and the car comes out of the DLA money and is not an extra.
You do seem to begrudge her having a house suitable for her child's needs.

Oh tbh that wanky, Braggy Facebook status would have irritated me straight away. There's just no need for it

"Her kids aren't physically disabled though?

Here's some information for you. Disabilities don't have to be physical to be disabilities.
Disabilities don't have to be physical to be severe disabilities.

Spikey
Totally agree with both your posts.
I assume by this the children probably have ASD or similar.
I am also disabled. It wax and wanes. A lot of waxing atm. But I don’t use walking aids as they’d get in the way. People are so very ignorant.

Well said spikey. There's so much ignorance on MN about disability. I'd like to think threads like this would help educate people, but I'm not convinced anyone listens.

@BuggedLife people like that make my bumhole itch. If it was me and I have done in the past, I would just post something sarcastic and remove them from my friends list. She is a fraud plain and simple.

I have had to cut someone like that out of my life. She sold her family home got over £50,000 out of it and then had the audacity to make herself homeless because she managed to hid the money from the DWP etc. They gave her a lovely new flat in an area which did not suit her, she complained and got rehomed to an even better one.

I swear to god sometimes i just shake my head at how the government allows these people to get away with this.

You are not a dick. In fact, she sounds like one because she wants to be seen as better than what she classes as scroungers. Just because your child is disabled does not make you a saint. Some MNers here think they are untouchable if their life is hard. Fucking bullshit.

I get you OP. There are lots of other posters getting their knickers in a twist here. The DLA and motability is a bit of a red herring that everyone is focusing on and I think it's confusing them. I suggest you unfollow her and move on.

Why do you continue with this when I have stipulated time and time again I have no opposition to the families claim to DLA?

Because the things you say show otherwise. Your clearly jealous of her house and car which in your words she didn't get from working hard. Again you don't think caring for a disabled child is working hard? In employment you get to clock off, she doesn't. It's 24 hours mentally physically and emotionally draining.

I bet she would rather not have those things and have a normal child and be able to go out to work. But she can't, can she. She's not won some life lottery that's got her a free car and house.

I'm not predudice against people that don't have disabled people, I'm pissed off by inconsiderate, ignorant people that have no empathy or consideration for what it's like living with disability, people that don't know how lucky they are to have normal children, people who have been blessed in life and then begrudge those who have disabled children getting help from the state.

And you can keep saying you don't have a problem with the dla but you clearly have a problem with the house and car which are provided because of her child's disability.

you can get DLA (if your child qualifys for it) regardless of in come , you could still get it if you are a milllionaire , my child is disabled he gets DLA , through him i know lots of disabled children i dont know anyone who gets free driving lessons from DLA though?

my child isnt physically disabled either he can run like the wind jump , climb etc, how ever hes severly autistic and has learning disabilities he cant talk and wears nappies hes eight , are you suggesting that he isnt disabled then Lola?

My child gets DLA and I was all for defending you until this:

'I begrudge someone passing off gains from DLA and benefit fraud as something earned by working hard, making others feel bad about their situation when they only divulge the flattering information.'

Really?? If you have a disabled child you do work hard. And 'gains'? You're just a GF aren't you?

Op her posting gushing messages on her Facebook page doesn't make her have the perfect life she's obviously craving.

She doesn't own the new property, never will and there's no guarantee her partner will stay supportive of her and his child.

If she claimed the £11k in income support as a single mum even though she was back with her partner she should be made to pay it back. If the DWP have dropped the case the details must be too sketchy for a strong case against her.

What is her child's condition?

Her life must be pretty miserable for her to post crap like that on Facebook!

When will people realise you don't get the extra money and a car.

You get awarded DLA (only for higher rate mobility) and then the DLA payments (for the higher rate mobility) goes straight to the car people.

You can't have both

The DLA is to help with the additional cost of having a disability, what ever that disablity maybe.

It's not a "free" car and never has been.