To be effed off at a friend's Facebook status

[BuggedLife]

Gushing about how hard her partner provides for her and their child, they receive no handouts and how even though he works a lot, the time he has with them is quality time.

Innocent in itself however what is hidden here is that she doesn't mention the fact that she also has DLA for her child and a DLA car (with her driving lessons and test recently funded by the DLA) and that only last month a case against her benefit fraud was dropped - benefit fraud to the tune of £11,000 over the space of about a year which although the case was dropped, she had claimed the fraud (I know this for a fact).

She lives on a newly built housing estate but only got that because she left their private rented home when they split up and got social housing which was a rubbish house but then managed to get a new build social housing house on a new affluent private housing estate due to her child's needs.

In this status she had the cheek to say they don't get any handouts! So what was the extra benefits they claimed!!!?!!!

FWIW I believe DLA is a right no matter what a persons income? I don't begrudge that & she is a good Mother to her child and meets the childs needs well. This is not bashing DLA claimers.

All those posters having a go at the OP for using the word 'handouts', you do realise it was the 'friend' that used the term, that she didn't?

Why do you begrudge her child living in a suitable home for the disability and DLA? It’s for the benefit of the child ffs.

She quite explicitly says she doesn't grudge them anything to do with DLA.

But strange her last para about not begrudging doesn't make sense in light of what she says before. Where she says the friend 'doesn't mention' the DLA or 'DLA car' - and says this is 'hidden'. That suggests the OP has a problem with these things, in light of the friend saying she doesn't receive handouts. How else to read it?

DWP, the LA and HMRC all drop, stop pursuing or write off some fraudulent claims including some of 11k and more. Not because the person is innocent but because proof can be difficult and staff have not got the resources to investigate, gather evidence or produce a well prepared case.

As for the Facebook post it’s probably meant to make a point to the person who reported the fraud, but these type of posts are only ever an edited snapshot of someone’s real life.

Completely missing the point but do people get lessons and tests if their child gets higher rate mobility DLA?

No of course they don't.

It's part of the fantasy that poor people are living it up.

Yes they can, through some motability schemes and some disabled or Carers grants.

It sounds to me like a case of self-hatred. She's reliant on benefits and has probably absorbed the message that mainstream media has fed her for at least 3 decades, that people like her are scum.

She has a psychological need to protect herself from her own internalised negative messages about herself. Her FB post is her (ineffective) self-defence tactic. Poor woman.

You sound like a right nasty cow. She has a disabled child who is deserving of DLA and house etc. Maybe she is proud of her DH. Maybe it's none of your business

And yes ya completely u for thinking that if you can afford not to live in social housing, you should give up your social housing.

All that does, is stigmatise and ghetto-ise social housing. Everyone who wants one, should have a council house or HA tenancy, whether they can afford something better or not. That way, there would be proper mixed communities and housing would not be a crisis.

crunchy the Family Fund used to pay for driving lessons, if you were on a low income and qualified for their help, but I don't think it does any more. Nothing to stop a parent using the mobility allowance to pay for lessons, and then once they've passed their test using the allowance to pay for a Motability car. (Which is what I assume the OP means by a DLA car. The cars aren't free - you can choose to spend the mobility allowance on funding a car, or spend it on something else.)

doubt life is all that easy for her, she's probably trying to make herself feel better. Don't begrudge that.

Don't begrudge her the right to belittle others to make herself feel better?

I can tell from the comments to the OP calling her vile and terrible that people are actually drawing a distinction themselves between people who claim benefits for "good reasons" (people with disabilities) and people who don't.. like those feckless single mothers who want to you know, feed their kids.

The OP isn't the one calling benefits 'handouts'..she's saying the friend said people on benefits are getting handouts (benefits) WHEN THE FRIEND IS TOO. That's not hard to understand unless you want to be a dick, or draw a distinction between the deserving and non deserving or just don't want to refuse to read the Op.

YANBU OP, she sounds like a dick

It's really just her business.

You could just comment with "I'm not sure exactly what you mean by a handout. If you mean a welfare benefit for people in poverty or who are chronically ill then I'm not sure that's something to be proud about". I wouldn't mention her child's DLA.

Everyone who wants one, should have a council house or HA tenancy, whether they can afford something better or not. That way, there would be proper mixed communities and housing would not be a crisis.

Yeah there would be way more housing for the poor and vulnerable if anyone could just have one.

Sure there would.

All those posters having a go at the OP for using the word 'handouts', you do realise it was the 'friend' that used the term, that she didn't?

Reading the thread isn't as fun as sharpening your pitchforks to make yourself look like you care.

She quite explicitly says she doesn't grudge them anything to do with DLA

Then why do you think the op mentioned those things? Why mention DLA or the house that is because of the child’s needs?

It doesn't clear it up at all OP (have you name changed mid thread?), given paras 2 and 3 of your original post where you talk specifically about their disability benefits.

i would rather not have to receive DLA for my DC - because my DP cannot be a WOHP, they have to be at home to look after DC...

Investigated for fraud - and it not being found to be fraud is completely different to being fraudulent and convicted.

It doesn't clear it up at all OP (have you name changed mid thread?), given paras 2 and 3 of your original post where you talk specifically about their disability benefits

^^ yup.

“Everyone who wants one, should have a council house or HA tenancy, whether they can afford something better or not. That way, there would be proper mixed communities and housing would not be a crisis.”

Really agree with this, and just wanted to add that that was the original purpose of social housing. This mentality of people turning on each other fighting over the scraps while the welfare state and general infrastructure is systematically dismantled, social mobility grinds to a halt and the wealth gap widens absolutely sickens me.

It sounds like you're looking down your nose at someone you find doesn't live up to your lofty standards so yes she would be well rid

I don’t get this -

The woman publicly slags off anyone on so-called ‘handouts’ yet the op is the bad guy here??

What am I missing?

Completely missing the point but do people get lessons and tests if their child gets higher rate mobility DLA? you could use the money from the DLA to pay for them