to wonder why some posters on MN are so nasty?

[user1485342611]

All up for a good debate, and a disagreement about views and opinions.

But some posters are so nasty. Either overtly - personal insults, comments like 'every road has someone like you' which I saw on a thread recently and so on; or deliberately doing the 'look how tolerant I am and how I'm very intolerantly insulting you whilst beamingly being tolerant' type posts.

I've seen a lot of this lately and it's beginning to really put me of MN.

If you see someone being a prick, have the balls to say so to the specific person at the specific time you see it

Honestly 98% of mn these days is people moaning about others behind their back when they just need to handle their business like an adult: wah wah my sil is a nobhead wah wah my friend has a council house and a big telly wah wah my neighbour parks like a tit

Either say something or get over it, jesus tonight

Onr persons rude is another's truthful... i see some posters i would say are rude and some goady, repeat offenders at that but i have also seen people called rude names when they've just been honest or asked a good relevant question to the OP.

Far worse imo is when someone assumes something incorrect about the OP, runs with it and then a bunch of people pile on and join in- taking the assumption as truth. Leaving the OP to constantly correct and get visibly pissed off.

I have a cousin who is just like a rude mumsnetter! Those comments that are just bad tempered and rude for the sake of it, I attribute to “Tracy” lol!

I agree OP, it has certainly put me off, and I’ve had quite a few ‘breaks’ from MN because of how hostile it can be sometimes. I’m far from confrontational in RL, but some posters just like to goad I think, until they get a reaction. It can really be quite unpleasant.
Posters who constantly nit pick at individual comments or make sarcastic, hostile comments in response to other people’s opinions, not to mention the grammar / fact check police. It really is quite tiresome at times. Having said that, there are also some lovely supportive people on here too, so it’s not all bad

I find this exactly the same as Facebook community groups. It's not community at all it's just another way to be horrible to one another, make overly catty comments and bully people. Wouldn't catch them saying It to the persons face either.

You soon get to the know the ones that are just plain bellends.

If you don't like it, press the little X in the top right hand corner. We will miss you dreadfully but shall no doubt survive.

People are cunts. The anonymity of the internet allows them to bestow their cuntishness without consequence.

One person's different viewpoint is another's being nasty

I disagree. It’s really not difficult to disagree with people without being obnoxious about it.

I think some posters genuinely enjoy being nasty. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Hehe just realised my new username is apt for this thread ...

BTW. I report posters who are nasty. MNHQ will sometimes remove their posts even if they have tried to be clever and avoided direct personal attacks.

I blame the daily mail. My theory is since they started up liftng stories from mn some of the trolls that posted in their comments section have drifted over here. Not that I'm saying nasty mners didn't exist beforehand, they absolutely did, but not in quite the same numbers.

I think for a lot of women they just get sick of being (or appearing to be) nice all day, so they enjoy the release of being straight talking with other straight talking women. It is freeing, blame the patriarchy. Some take it too far though, there are arseholes everywhere.

Are you talking about all boards or just AIBU where to be fair is probably the most visited board and so people very quickly realise needed the skin of a hippo or fast feet or a real AIBU to escape unscathed.
However I do get annoyed when the grammar police hoover board and when latter down a subject people who have not read the thread weigh in and derail.
There is some downright nastiness though but maybe due the size of the site and that people move onif the change is not for them.
The nastiness isnton.mist boards though so it would help if AIBU stopped being the focus board

Because they hide behind their keyboards .. yeh mumsnet is rife with these keyboard bullies

Some people enjoy being arseholes under the guise of being "sassy".

It's normal bullying tactics and best ignored!

@Vanillamanilla1 "People on MN wouldn't say this in real life.. I believe they hide behind a keyboard and say thing online they'd love to say in RL but don't have the balls to say"

Completely agree.

ive noticed this..if you don't agree with the majority you must be a fool..and i hatè plain rude replies..simply no need..find it funny too when some OPs post gets slated on and on by 1 thing they wrote instead of reading the whole pist properly and just answering the question they asked in 1st place.

They're just people trying to let off some steam for whatever shifty situation they're currently going through. So they want to pull someone else down to make themselves feel better

..sad situation !

I've been on MN for many years, and there has always been an underlying tone.

It's a huge site - if you go into smaller forums where perhaps people 'know' each other a bit, then you will probably get people being nicer to each other.

What happens on MN is no different from what happens everywhere else on the internet.

Anonymity means people can say exactly what they think, and it turns out that what many people think, is doused in vitriol. People are angry. People are pissed off, but whereas in real life they nod and smile ... on t'internet, they let rip. Kinda like road rage, within the safety of their moving car.

Personally, I find coming onto MN as a reader - and categorically not a thread-starter - makes it an enjoyable place to hang out.

You couldn't pay me enough to start a thread on AIBU. And you do have to admit, that some people really do have an astounding lack of self-awareness, and so sort of deserve to have their arse handed to them. Not all, by any means, but definitely some.

I think most people are just normal people and things can easily be taken the wrong way when seen written down and escalate quickly.

On the “community” thing though there are a few incredibly sad and pathetic people who seem to see themselves as part of a MN clique and they are nasty for no reason all the time. Then they go to their pathetic reddit thread and carry on being arseholes. I assume they have no friends in real life hence their need for a weird clique here.

I find I reply to two types of threads - some that interest me and some that annoy me. I’m always nice if I’m interested but if someone is being incredibly stupid or awful I do tell them so - they asked, right? I should add, if the OP seems vulnerable I do soften it or just say nothing.

I do tend to try stay off AIBU. Chat is nicer and I’d prefer to hear about homemaking and books rather than the 50 billionth MIL/why won’t my boyf propose type thread of the day.

Honestly 98% of mn these days is people moaning about others behind their back when they just need to handle their business like an adult: wah wah my sil is a nobhead wah wah my friend has a council house and a big telly wah wah my neighbour parks like a tit

This ^

And there are always people jumping at the bit to imagine some kind of toxic psychological formulation from the briefest of encounters so someone complains DH hasn't put the bins out again and you'll get 'it's clear he doesn't value you, he thinks he's more important than you and this demonstrates a sense of entitlement that is a red flag'.

It's just as valid for someone else to think this is a total non-event and the OP sounds like she's picking a fight. I don't think that's nasty but many say it is.

If someone has a thread about not being able to sleep alone in the house or is panicking that someone rang the doorbell at 8.30pm then some people are going to think the OP needs to get a grip. And I'm sure most would say the same in real life.

You know, trying to blame a perceived posting standards on a group yon can safely 'other' isn't the answer, ever. There are now three Reddits, and the main one isn't populated exclusively by troublesome posters.

If you want different attitudes in posts on MN, the answer is at your own fingertips. And I don't mean by joining in to slag off other (unnamed) posters on the latest iteration of 'MNetters are horrible' thread. I mean by posting the advice and attitudes you think are more appropriate on the actual threads in question.