to think these children ARE overweight?

[OkMaybeNot]

The schools in my area have just sent out the results of the National Child Measurement Programme.

There are a number of acquaintances/friends on my social media who have posted their child's result online, along with a picture of their child and an angry rant about how their child is as skinny as a rake, not an ounce of fat on them, 'stocky' not 'fat', perfectly healthy etc etc.

But they are. Some of them are very overweight and plainly so. Others may be a little bit chubby and due for a growth spurt or something, but clearly not slim, either.

There are streams of comments underneath these posts agreeing and expressing their disgust and anger. And I'm wondering if everyone's lying, or they genuinely believe that these children are slim?

I know BMI is notoriously squiffy when it comes to kids, and I have seen genuine cases of it being so totally wrong it's laughable, especially when it comes to strong, athletic children. But that isn't the case for these children, at all.

AIBU to think that you owe it to your child to at least consider the results before going on the defensive?

Um Branleuse a lot of people posting here will be mothers or fathers of said children.

Of course they're concerned about the health of their DC rather than how they look. "Faux-concern"? What a strange thing to say to anyone who has DC.

Posting FB pics for others to comment on the weight of your children is disgusting.

Our perception of healthy weight in the UK is totally skewed. I've lost count of the number of times people have called my child skinny. She looks like I did at her age and her height/weight is pretty near as average as you can get (47th centile). We have forgotten that children should look like beanpoles with ribs showing. This means they are using up the energy from their food not storing it as fat.

Unfortunately the problem isn't going away because its not in the food industry's interest for it to do so and government is in its pocket. Jamie and HFW are hitting their heads against a brick wall. The clothing industry follows suit with vanity sizing. My DD has to wear age size down and put up with shorter length skirts just to get something that won't fall down on her).

Almost everyone gets sucked into believing this is new normal. On the odd occasion the NHS steps in (such as the Reception/Yr 6 checks) to remind us of our skewed vision, but then there is no follow through or coherent support so we tell ourselves they miscalculated and go back to doing what we were before.

I agree that perception of weight is distorted now.

If I look at my mother's generation and older there are very few overweight people but there are loads of women of my age and younger who are much bigger than is healthy but it is completely normalised.

I have one Aunt who was always known as being terribly fat but when I look at photos of her from 30 years ago she'd be considered average now.

The health system here (NZ) is struggling same as UK and it will continue to get worse due to loss of mobility, diabetes etc.

I feel really sorry for the big kids at school - the senior syndicate camp this year they did a 3 hour walk in a National Park and some kids couldn't complete it.

Um Branleuse a lot of people posting here will be mothers or fathers of said children

Um so what?

My own father was absolutely instrumental in creating my eating disorder.

Ive watched my own cousin project her own eating issues onto her overweight daughter, making an issue out of everything she ever ate. Doesnt make the blindest bit of difference She was a chubby child. Shes now a chubby teenager on fad diet after fad diet. Shes currently on carb free at 13.

My kids eat loads and they have sweets and snacks and icecream etc and yet are all healthy weights.
Noone gives a shit about kids that have terrible diets if theyre slim. Noone gives a shit about health issues that dont make a person fat

Noone gives a shit about kids that have terrible diets if theyre slim. Noone gives a shit about health issues that dont make a person fat

That's just ridiculous. There are hundreds if threads in breakfasts and lunch boxes and screen time and sports clubs and schopl and allergies and diets etc vitamins or no vitamins . Breast or bottle. Smoking in pregnancy. Worms , head lice, mental health etc

People care about pretty much everything

I remember watching Friends as a kid and thinking flashback Monica was huge.

And then I saw it recently again as an adult and realised that she just looked completely normal. Fat yes, but not extremely so. And it really stood out to me how much being overweight and obese has been normalised. As a child I had barely seen anyone of that size anywhere! But as an adult the ‘comedy’ of it had been lost because the shock value of her size had disappeared as every second person seems to be that large now.

Just a silly little anecdote I know but it did make me think.

I just want to say that not all children who are overweight are constantly fed junk food and sugary snacks. I have 4 children / 1st and 3rd put weight on easily and have rugby legs ( thankfully they are boys and do play rugby) - they follow me. The other two ( one girl one boy) are taller and thin - like their dad.
Of course you can do damage by a constant stream of high calorie snacks but genetics DO play a role and you have to be extra careful.
My eldest is not overweight because he spends his life at the gym or playing rugby. My 2nd and 4th are thin like their dad - even though DD is now 17 and eats crap with her friends and does no excersize. My 3rd is overweight by about a stone and he eats exactly the same as no. 4 who is thin.
So go easy on the moral high- horse. Some kids have a genetic predisposition to being heavier or lighter, it doesn't equal bad parenting and my kids are testament to that.

People care because it’s visible. It’s impossible to miss. You can’t care about something happening that you can’t see (like a slim child being fed absolute nutritionally empty crap to the extent where their health is damaged). Plus most people have experience of weight issues one way or another, and we all eat, so people have an opinion often coming from personal experience.

You say the odd child being at isn’t an issue: it’s an issue to that one child! Focusing on acceptance is basically writing them off. Self hatred isn’t exactly gonna not appear if a child is enabled to remain large and get fatter and fatter as they grow older.

I agree there needs to be caution around eating disorders but as stated before, binge eating to the extent where you’re taking in so much food you’re literally harming your health and bloating yourself up to an unhealthy and shocking size IS an eating disorder. These kids need support, writing them off for fear of encouraging an ED ignores the fact that at the stage of already being fat they already have a disordered relationship with food.

There does need to be much more promotion of how parents can facilitate helping their kids lose weight in a safe and healthy way, keeping their mental health in mind and watching out for signs of an ED, whether one which is fixated on fast weight loss or maintaining a dangerously low weight, or one which is making someone obese.

It was only when I saw a nutritionist saying that we (I include myself in this) don't appreciate that a healthy weight for a primary aged child is what we now perceive as too skinny, that I understood fully that the journey to obesity starts early. My 7 year old swimming class all looked fine to me until then. Now five years on the ones who were marginally 'well covered' or 'chunky' are overweight.

We should be aiming for lean and wiry children (always allowing for frame and body proportions). Crowd scenes from the 1980s compared to now are quite an eye opener.

Most children aren't overweight. You do not see loads of fat kids waddling around. This isn't America.

Loads of children have puppy fat but now waspish women even go on about that. Pretending to be concerned but really just picking on overweight people

Majority of your 'i know a child/someone who is' stories are about girls/women. Surprise surprise.

You want to feel important/ superior so you drone on about weight as if you're gurus, nutritionists etc. Probably round at friends and relatives sticking your beak into what's on another's plate

The epidemic here will be ever more old people sitting home entirely alone or slung into nursing homes because they won't stfu and stop making their (female) kids and grandkids feel like shit

But it’s very difficult for anyone to try and develop or implement such a programme to tackle weight in young people because the current climate of body positivity and fat activism is growing, vocal, and surprisingly powerful. We’re in a weird post-knowledge space where actual medical evidence about weight is being ignored and torn down by people who aren’t doctors or nutritionists, they’re just people off the street with an Instagram account who know how to write an engaging post and get their message across. And people believe it (see prior post about people doctor shopping for ‘fat positive’ medics who won’t breathe a word about their patient’s weight despite it endangering their health)

It's far easier to over-eat if you are eating lots of little meals a day.

It doesn't help that kids clothing is so huge! Seriously, vanity sizing for toddlers.

My almost 2yo is 75th centile for height and varies between 50th&75th for weight and his size 18-24mo trousers and shorts fall down. He still fits into 12-18mo waist size (although they're too short) and he's bigger than average!

So no wonder parents have a skewed sense of what's normal.

Mistress:

www.gov.uk/government/publications/childhood-obesity-applying-all-our-health/childhood-obesity-applying-all-our-health From April 2015:

more than 1 in 5 children are overweight or obese when they begin school
almost 1 in 3 children are overweight or obese by the time they leave primary school

And the figures keep going up.

A third isn’t most, no. But it’s getting there. And it’s not a tiny percentage.

Are you really saying that this is puppy fat that will melt away? Or that it just doesn’t matter and shouldn’t be tackled?

That might be true, but that still doesn’t make three meals “right” @barbarian. Nobody should be overeating, but for very young children who have small tummies, I think it’s natural they split their meals over more than three sittings a day. I think forcing preschool age children (that’s the age group I’ve been posting about) to stick to three meals only is counterproductive. I don’t think it’s a good plan to encourage little children to firce down meals so they don’t snack. I encounter this all the time irl and I personally wouldn’t do it with mine. I want them to learn to stop when they’re full, and so far they do. I might have to change tactic later obviously.

*force

Wtf is firce autocorrect?

As a society, we don't seem to register that the baby/ toddler chubbiness should be grown out of by the time a child starts school. Overweight in a primary age child is quite subtle, and it doesn't look like the near 2/3s of adults who are overweight and obese (subject to localised variations).

It only takes a small consistent excess of calories to gain weight, so it's a slow transition of weight gain for so many children to build up from the cute, chubby toddler look to an obvious overweight/ obese look by the y6 checks by which time puberty may well be affected.

As other PPs have commented, I have issues with clothes sizes for my "skinny"/ low end of normal DCs. My slim, average height 5 year old is wearing age 2-3 school trousers with hems dropped down for length yet still with some buttoning done up to keep them up his hips. They rarely look smart as clothing is either too short or sagging off them. At the same height, they need spare inches around their waists to fill their clothing out. If children's clothing is out of synch with a healthy build, and children being flagged as overweight look "normal" amongst their peers, it's not going to help parents accept that there is an issue, particularly when many of the parents concerned have their own difficulties with healthy lifestyles themselves.

There needs to be an additional check about y3 to follow progress on the cohort in the long gap between yR and y6. Many children are still in the healthy range at yR and become overweight before y6. Initiatives such as the daily mile are simple and effective at raising activity levels for all without singling children out. Start it young before self conciousness kicks in.

Shaming doesn't work, but we do need to state facts and be honest about the problem. Do we really want a significant proportion of a generation facing premature health problems and finding daily life difficult and having to learn a healthy lifestyle completely from scratch in adulthood? There's enough challenge in maintaining a healthy lifestyle in adulthood, let alone dealing with baggage established through childhood.

Most children aren't overweight. You do not see loads of fat kids waddling around. This isn't America

Having briefly read the first page of this thread I glanced at the children coming out of an infants school yesterday - I was surprised to see how many 'chubby' children there were. One boy of 5 or 6 was carrying a giant, double scooped Mr Whippy ice cream with green sauce all over it (ice cream van parked outside the school). He was wearing a smart uniform - dark grey shorts, white shirt, tie and cap but he looked ridiculous - the shorts were obviously age 10/12 as they reached halfway down his calves - age 5/6 shorts were never going to fit round his waist.

But on the other hand my average (varies between 25 and 50th centiles) child is called tiny, and we struggle to find trousers that dont fall straight off him. Wearing shorts 3 years below his actual age (smaller ones are too short!)
So the kids at the lower end of overweight probably dont look much bigger than their peer group, and fit the clothes labelled for them.

This is both my girls.

I get told y friends how "slight/dainty/small" they are.

They're both in their correct age bracket for clothes, length wise, but I really have a job a lot of places with the waists. Even adjustable ones I have to tighten to the smallest which can really make the clothes look all bunched and weird.

My DD2s best friend (in reception with her) is in 7-8 clothes. While DD is in 4-5. Height wise there isn't loads in it, but so many children are so much bigger around the middle than my girls.

Sometimes I wonder if it starts at formula/bottle feeding? I saw friends forcing the "correct" amount of ounces down their children and stressing if they hadn't had x ounces in a day. Be it expressed milk or formula.

I never knew what my girls were having so I guess they learned to eat to their appetites more? And because I grew up overweight having to finish my plate I never make my two do that either. I'm also quite a sugar-Nazi.

I know what you mean OP.

DS is right smack in the middle of the healthy weight and BMI range for his age and height (which is also very boringly "average") yet he is one of the slimmest in his class and I am constantly told "oh god he's only a skinny thing isn't he?" "Oh there's really nothing of him!"

No Sandra, that's coz your kid is fat, but if I say that to you I'll be no doubt told I'm being offensive so FUCK RIGHT OFF!

Same parents also seem to like to brag about how their child wears bigger sized clothes than their age because they're growing marvellously (like it's some kind of competition)

Not all parents of overweight kids are "deluded fatties". DH is underweight if anything and I'm BMI of about 21.

DS isn't overweight but is just under the threshold. We walk to school, he runs around or does physical activity nearly every day after school, we try to eat super healthy veg, fish, good fats, fruit, limited carb diet. We never buy sweets, very occasionally will have cake eg on someone's birthday or an ice lolly. He just eats and eats though given the chance and is also short in height. He is the only child to clear his plate at school dinners without fail every day. He says he's hungry almost constantly. Friends of ours take the piss at our healthy eating habits but it's the only way we can think of to stop him from becoming overweight.

It's incredibly stressful and difficult to manage and all of you judging parents of overweight kids have no idea.

On these threads, people always come up with these complicated theories about why children are fatter now. Oh it’s because they are ff - hardly a modern phenomenon, my dad and all his siblings were ff, as was my mum and her sibling. All were skinny as rakes growing up! My dad’s family especially so. They look emaciated in photos.

Or the other theory; We used to only have three meals a day and no snacks. That must be it!

Well, I grew up in a three meals, from scratch family and were all bfed for ages. My siblings and I all struggle to stay a healthy weight. I am a healthy bmi now, but haven’t always been and was a massive teen. One of my siblings is constantly, very overweight and the other is always a bit overweight.

Yes, I know it’s just anecdata, but children aren’t data, they’re individuals, so you can’t just condemn a whole generation of bottle fed babies to being lost causes because they’ll never be able to regulate their appetite like my bfed little darling. It isn’t as simple as that.

I know it’s more complicated than calories in, calories out and I agree that more needs to be done to get children active, but I also think that the sheer number of calories is a huge part of the problem. I think children need to learn more about what they’re eating and how much they need considering how much or little they are burning off with exercise.

I went to primary school in the sixties. There was ONE child in our class who was considered fat. She was often called fatty by other kids. I recently looked at our old class photo and was shocked because she looked slimmer than most kids today who are considered normal size.
Parents should really look at what they do and stop being in denial or defending the way they deal with their kids diets.
My son and daughter in law have biscuits and sweets and chocolate readily available and my grandsons age 10 and 5 can help themselves...which they do.
When the kids stay with us they have to ask if they want something and are not allowed free reign.
My DiL will tell me the youngest won't eat all his lunch and dinner and that's normal for him but he always does at our house because he is not snacking!
They are allowed to eat meals in front of the tv or iPad a home...at our house we sit at the table and no screens. The kids love staying here.
I really don't think a lot of people really know what's possible where their children are concerned or realise they behave differently away from them where the options are different.
As for one poster saying their child 'doesnt eat breakfast so lunch is the first meal he has' How the hell have you let that start and continue? That's awful!

DDs (12 and 9) are both slim/healthy in terms of BMI and appearance and I still worry about the volume of sweets, crisps and biscuits they eat and they always seem hungry, especially the nearly teenager. DD1 is 7 stone and 5'2", DD2 is 5 stone 5 or so and 4'9".

I can only put it down to:

• Being very active, trampoline in the garden, always clowning around and running about and dancing for several hours a week, doing lots of sport at school
• Portion sizes and mostly cooked-from scratch meals, hardly any takeaways.
• Always letting them regulate their own appetite. They have never been made to "finish their plate" before having dessert.
• Hardly any fizzy drinks and they mostly drink water and the odd cup of tea or hot chocolate.

I am actually overweight myself though have lost over 30lbs recently, BMI isn't too bad now at 26, so I do empathise and know how hard it is to lose weight.