to think these children ARE overweight?

[OkMaybeNot]

The schools in my area have just sent out the results of the National Child Measurement Programme.

There are a number of acquaintances/friends on my social media who have posted their child's result online, along with a picture of their child and an angry rant about how their child is as skinny as a rake, not an ounce of fat on them, 'stocky' not 'fat', perfectly healthy etc etc.

But they are. Some of them are very overweight and plainly so. Others may be a little bit chubby and due for a growth spurt or something, but clearly not slim, either.

There are streams of comments underneath these posts agreeing and expressing their disgust and anger. And I'm wondering if everyone's lying, or they genuinely believe that these children are slim?

I know BMI is notoriously squiffy when it comes to kids, and I have seen genuine cases of it being so totally wrong it's laughable, especially when it comes to strong, athletic children. But that isn't the case for these children, at all.

AIBU to think that you owe it to your child to at least consider the results before going on the defensive?

primary aged children do not need a snack at 3:30 when they’ve had lunch at 12/12:30

I agree that children are being allowed to snack far too much, but I disagree with that ^

My very slim DS would be the hangriest child alive after school, especially in reception and year 1. They burn calories so quickly at this age. A nearly 4-hour gap between food isn't unreasonable at that age imo.

Too large a percentage of parents refuse to accept their child is fat. They are more concerned about their own feelings than the health of their child.
People are terrified of being honest with them and won't call them on it.
If you are not bothered about being overweight yourself, that's fine. You are an adult and can do what you want. If your child is fat it's your responsibility.
Harsh, May be but I'm fed up of listening to the pathetic excuses and denials of stupid parents.

Fair enough, maybe I'm reading it wrong (almost as another way of excusing 'bigger boned' or heavier kids).

'Muscular' conjures up quite a different image - if you mean skinny kids whose body mass is essentially sinew, then fair enough.

My classmates from the 1970s who were only slightly chubby kids are all morbidly obese now. What will today's obese kids be like in their 40s? Kids don't tend to lose weight as they grow- fat kids=fat adults, in most cases. It's worrying.

"Why are they posting pics of their children online to discuss their weight? How embarrassing for the poor kids."

Agree wholeheartedly with this. Whether these children are overweight or not is NOT a subject for general discussion among the parents' friends and acquaintances. I get furious about what so many parents feel is appropriate to share online about their kids. It's seriously fucked up.

DS1 is on 91st centile for height and 25th for weight. His ribs and sternum are clearly visible, and he's long-limbed. There is no way he needs to be any bigger than he is currently. OP I agree with you, these parents are in denial.

I also agree that kids do need snacks. Your brain alone uses an incredible amount of energy and DS1 especially has a tender by to get 'hangry' if he doesn't snack regularly.

When I was 18-21 ish (30 years ago) I weighed 10 stone and was absolutely traumatised by how fat I was. I was at least a stone maybe 2 stone more than my slim friends. I was a size 14 and felt like a freak.

We are definitely a bit blind to how fat we are becoming as a nation. But still there is no excuse for fat shaming anyone, ESPECIALLY children.

I think there is some element of "Food is love" for some people.

I have a bad relationship with food, which means I'm fat. I dont want DD to be that way. It also helps that her dad is tall and naturally slim.

DD is slim and athletic, I want her to stay that way.

Depends on the child. My kids aren't overweight but develop a huge belly just before a growth spurt otherwise they are both skinny. They haven't been said to be over weight but id ignore if they had been and was expecting them to say that. Remember one little boy we know being called obese, must been something wrong with their scales because he really was skinny.

Yanbu, our letter put our tall slim boy in the healthy section (he's 7 and wears age 8-9 clothes for length usually just with the adjustable waist tightened slightly etc for perspective) and when a few people were chatting about the test one parent with an overweight letter even had the frigging nerve to start shouting theirs must be wrong as clearly my ds was very underweight, not healthy . There are lots more chubby children nowadays and no one seems to want to accept it. I'm not sure the schools are much help if you are in that situation, mind you. School lunches still seem as unhealthy as ever, just with a bit of re branding on the wording - couple that with more sedentary lifestyles and more convenience foods and packaged snacks etc at home and it's a bit of recipe for trouble.

My boys are both what people would describe as skinny. Twig like arms and legs, knobbly knees and can see ribs a little. They are both very fit, strong and great at sport. I have to take all their waistbands in or use shorts 1-2 sizes smaller. At sports day my eldest was sprinting at the front while the overweight ones were visibly tired and struggling.

I remember when I was young my friends and I being shocked rigid that someone weighed 10 stone.

Now retired, but when weighing and measuring height of children in Y6 was first introduced, parents were given the option of opting out of the survey. Guess which children were omitted from the screening?

Deluded fatties

Is this just England? Never heard of this in Scotland.
I feel sorry for the kids whose parents are plastering them on fuckface!
There are kids at dgds school that are clearly overweight. It's tantamount to child abuse (providing there are no medical issues).
If a child is too fat to run then that is entirely the fault of the adult!
Some people obviously need a wake up call if they're unable to see what's under their nose.

"Now retired, but when weighing and measuring height of children in Y6 was first introduced, parents were given the option of opting out of the survey. Guess which children were omitted from the screening?"

My guess is hardly any, if you go back to the very first introduction which was in the 1940s.

I think the art of cooking from scratch is being lost , far too many ready meals and jars of sauce are used. My friend thinks frying some mince and bunging a jar of Domio over it is 'all home cooked'.

People say they haven't t got time to cook from scratch , which maybe sometimes they haven't but not every single mealtime.

My mum worked full time, came home and cooked a meat and two veg dinner every single night , we had a pudding of either yoghurt or fruit and never ate between meals . We didn't have crisps or biscuits and I can never remember being hungry until just before the meal we were about to have. We weren't fat.

My DC have all been called skinny, you could slightly see their ribs when younger, but that is how children are meant to look.

I have an acquaintance who is morbidly obese, her husband is obese and both of her sons too. She recently posted an old picture from when her sons were young and commented that they were so skinny then, I looked at the picture and saw two overweight boys, it's just now they are massively overweight. She has been big all of her life and has no idea of what normal size is.

The norm is now for children to be overweight so our perspectives are skewed. It’s amazing how this varies from region to region though. I live in a prosperous part of London and you just don’t really see fat children or adults.

I don't see many in DDs school in Brighton and most adults are okay too but if you go down the road to Hastings or Littlehampton it is a very different picture.

Katherine2626 that is truly horrifying.

Was anything done by the school?

To enable a child to become that fat and suffer the consequences at an age where what she eats is completely in her mother’s hands is neglect, bordering on abuse.

Please tell me the school intervened directly or at least referred the child to social services?

I know it’s an unpopular view in these days, where it’s such a taboo to acknowledge someone being overweight and the effects on their health, but any school that does not intervene somehow in the interests of a child whose mother is failing/hurting her is complicit in its failure to protect.

People being overweight as adults is one thing, innocent children to that extent is completely another!

I was fat as a teen. Bullying at school was a major factor to me over eating but my dm didn't help either.

She would constantly tell me I was fat and needed to lose weight. I did but all I heard was her criticizing me (nothing new there) and thought fuck you I can do what I want.

She also couldn't cook or even make a sandwich properly. Think boiling Brocolli till it's white and nothing anywhere near the crust. Yet I was never allowed to cook anything other than what SHE liked or the way SHE liked it so ide go get takeaway etc.

Thankfully when I had ds1 I dropped a huge amount of weight and have hovered around 10stone ever since.
Yes I have a bit of a belly but I wouldn't say I'm fat. I COULD be in denial though I honestly don't know what is Normal?

I agree things you think would be healthy are actually not. Cereal, yoghurt, low fat.
You think your making a healthy choice when you might of well of had the mars bar.

I also wonder when children's weight starts to become a problem. Ds1 was my smallest born and I've never not been able to see his ribs despite him eating like a horse. He is fantastic at making good eating choices and I don't worry about his relationship with food.

Dd was a big baby but it soon dropped off when she started toddling. Then in year 3 started hiding her lunch because she thought she was fat. Ever since then she's not eaten alot at all but apart from that makes good food choices.

Ds2 is a different build entirely. He's always been stocky and you can't see his ribs but his diet isn't any different to the others and walks to school, plays football, tears round the garden after school and will actively make good food choices.
He MIGHT be overweight but just telling me isn't going to help coz I'm pretty confident I'm doing all I can.
Like a pp says guidelines that aren't swap cola for water would be helpful.

My DS is a genuine string bean (If 26" waist, 36" inside leg trousers were made, that would be his size. He gets by with 30", 34-36" with a belt).

We have class / school pictures of all my father, my elder brother and DS.

My father was much taller than his peers, but exactly the same build. My brother was tall, but not THAT much taller than his peers, and seemed slim but not skinny. DS is not unusually tall - many more of his peers are taller than him than was the case for my brother - but he looks very, very skinny compared with his peers.

All 3 are EXACTLY the same height (6'2") and build at the same age. What has changed is the height and build of the peer group - who have got somewhat taller and MASSIVELY heavier over the intervening 60-65 years.

*TheDownager, I don't mean muscular as body builders but as visible muscle instead of covered by fat. Trim, wiry. I was like can that as a kid. Not from sports but from running and playing outside. A bit fat now unfurtanetely but not in denial