In laws will not come to 1 year olds birthday without giant dog

[Leggs11xo]

Firsy bit of back story my in-laws and I do not get on great for alot of reasons, when DD was first Born MIL came round and complelty rearranged my house calling it disgusting and FIL is very agressive and seems to fall out with everyonealot. Basically the bring alot of drama having said that we have never actually fallen out as I try and keep the peace.

So I am doing a low key first birthday for DD just family mainly. I obviously invited everyone including the in laws. They replied saying they would have to bring their dog, I love dogs but this dog is not child friendly he is very large ( just smaller than a great Dane ) and when we introduced him to the baby ( only in the same room together with him on a lead) he did not respond well. He is a lurcher type dog and so has a strong hunting instinct. I do not at all feel comfortable having him around my daughter. Beside they fact it's a birthday party and our house isn't massive I would prefer if people didn't bring their pets!

They are now saying they have will not come without the dog and how unreasonable we are not letting them bring him. I feel like this is just an excuse to cause trouble again.

Don't worry if they turn up and don't speak to you OP. Wait until they are leaving and explain that not only is their dog never welcome in your home, if they cannot be civil to you, then they are no longer welcome in your home.

The problem I have now is if they do decide to come they will spend the whole time not speaking to me! Thats what happened last time they visited 6 months ago they just sat their ignoring me !!

Not just cheeky fuckers then, but rude fuckers as well. They sound really unpleasant.

My dog is small, doesn't shed, fine with kids but quiet and not boisterous, and when we take her to visit family she either tucks herself away in a corner if things are hectic or lies down next to whoever is mug enough to rub her tummy for hours on end. Despite all that, I wouldn't dream of insisting she comes along on visits.

She has a dog flap and we have a secure garden, so we can leave her for a good few hours. If it's overnight, one of us will stay home or she will go and stay with a friend, or MIL (who would happily keep her forever if we gave her a chance).

People who expect their dogs to be welcome in other people's homes are BU, imo, and if they get petulant and insulting when they're not welcome then they're rude and VVU.

I don’t understand people having to take their dog everywhere with them, I think it’s rude to take your dog into other peoples houses, even more so if they are not dog owners themselves.

This.

Sounds like a result either way.

Either they don't come

Or they come and you don't have tk talk to them

Why would anyone bring their dog when visiting someone elses house? Do people really do that?

SIL & MIL insist we take the dog. If we turned up without her, they'd send us back home to get her.

I think it's just that we tried the dog and the baby in the same room with the dog on a lead and he went absolutely crazy looking at her like he looked at pheasants on a field. Me and my partner straight away realised he wasn't child friendly but in laws insisted that he was fine. I think it's the fact they don't recognise that not all dogs mix with baby's. I like dogs alot and I have put alot of effort into making sure my dog and my baby have some boundaries and respect for eachother and they are no problem together. Obviously I would never leave them alone together.

I would stop engaging . Sounds like they like the drama

I just want to enjoy my daughter's birthday party ! Why can't they just be normal turn up with a present have some tea and cake and go home that's all I ask

You can enjoy the party though. Let's face it, she's 1 so she won't exactly remember much about it will she? Is it really worth all this aggro just for a present?

I think you are flogging a dead horse with these people. They will never be the pil or grandparents that you wish and including them just leads to drama.

Ah...happy memories of my two when they were little, and the dogs (dachsies). The dog was OK, but the bitch was sure that the nappy was the most wonderful thing on the planet, when DD1 would be crawling around Jenny (the bitch) would follow with her nose glued to the nappy. Both DDs learned very quickly that if their rusk wasn't held high overhead it would be removed very quietly from their hand. They'd stagger around the house with an arm held aloft, trailed by dogs that had eyes firmly fixed on the rusks. Happy days! DDs are still besotted with dogs and animals of all kinds.

Just keep checking that your DP is on board then ignore. I adore my dog, but there’s just no way I’d dream of trying to take incontinent old mutt him to someone else’s house. It’s weird! Just walk it, feed it, stick it in the kitchen, boom, done. Why are people so weird about having to bring their bloody dog??

The dog issue is irrelevant, it’s just an excuse they’re using to stir up drama to get attention and cause tension, so don’t engage, continue to let your husband deal with his shite parents and if they do attend and act like wankers, remove them from your property and your life.

They don't come? Win
They come without dog and ignore you? Win

Yep, it's a WIN/WIN outcome!

Had same with my Dad. He initially refused to back down until I advised him he's chosen a dog over his GC and he'll have to live with the choice HE made. Dog has never been and we're all good 😊

Just wondering @Leggs11xo if your inlaws decided to show up and if they did was it with the dog or not? I'm guessing that the party has taken place by now. Apologies if not.

That's a big nope from me. I wouldn't have a dog in my house and am yet to meet anyone who has a problem with that.

Yeah they decided not to come ! We had a lovely day celebrating so it actually worked out for the best.

Now you know where their priorities are don't feel obliged to include them in your plans in future.
Glad it went well!!