To think I'm not a scrounger for getting "free" furniture

[GuessImAscroungerthen]

I have 2 young kids have had to completely move area while escaping from abusive ex. Left everything behind and was homeless for weeks before (v luckily I know) being offered a small council house which I'm extremely grateful for.

I'd already been working with women's aid and social services mainly for emotional support but women's aid also gave me some laundrette vouchers when I was homeless as I was struggling with the costs of doing washing at a laundrette (£4 to wash and dry a load adds up quick when you've got v little money). Anyway, women's aid offered me a Argos voucher when I told them about getting a home which I took and social services also gave me an Argos voucher, IKEA voucher and B+Q voucher. Added together I have a bit over a thousand pounds in vouchers which has gone a huge way towards getting everything we need, I bought the cheapest things I could and budgeted to the wire to get everything, but have still spent a few hundred on top... but I have almost everything now.
I am extremely greatful for this and plan on making a large donation to several charities to pay it forward, so to speak, when I can.
I've also recently been friendly with someone in my new area, we were chatting for a bit and she asked me how I was managing to furnish my house and if ex had given me money I said no I just had some vouchers given to me by women's aid and SS, she then acted a bit miffed with me so I went home, I tried to speak to her today and she said "I don't talk to scroungers" I was very upset and asked why she said that and apparently I'm a disgrace and have no shame allowing other people to pay for my furniture? I feel very guilty now, and embarrassed. I can't believe this has made her think so little of me.
Aibu to hope I'm not a scrounger? I feel awful!

its rude of her but i cant help but wonder why you told her?

She should think herself lucky that she has not needed to escape an abusive partner with 2 children. She is not a friend. You have done absolutely the right thing. Your children need a home that is safe and comfortable. Don't bother with her anymore.

Great idea to make a donation when you can to enable someone else to receive the support that you needed.

the only advice I can give you, is that when you move to a new area, don't tell people your business.

No you are not a scrounger, and she sounds like a cunt.

Sadly there are a lot of them about. x

You dodged a bullet. She is not someone you need in your life. Find better friends.

Take it as a lesson learned and maybe don't share personal information until you know people better. You aren't a scrounger. I'm really glad that the vouchers exist and that they helped you. I'd gladly pay more taxes to fund more schemes like that.

She sounds very... well. Not the brightest bulb in the box.

I imagine she told her because she asked.

It’s great you were able to get help when you needed it. Ignore the nasty woman, and I hope you make better friends soon.

well next time dont tell strangers your business?

You're not a scrounger. She's very rude.

You are not a scrounger. Until recently women leaving refuges would often be entitled to a community care grant for furniture - it was a state entitlement which was unfortunately cut. Setting up a new home can be really hard when you've had to flee.

It's absolutely none of this woman's business

It’s not scrounging, it is help for vulnerable women and children. She has shown you who she is though. I would listen, why would you even want to be friends with someone like that? Steer well clear.

Of course you aren't a scrounger. Women's Aid is a charity and that is what charity is for. Emergency funds from Social Services also exsist exactly for situations such as yours. Ignore this strange person and make some different new friends.

She's a horrid twat.

You are amazing and very brave to get free. Starting again isnt easy.

No, you're not a scrounger, you've just had a bad run and need a little help, which we all do sometimes. Well done for getting yourself out of a bad situation with two DCs. But I really recommend you don't tell people your business - people can be strange - jealous, petty and sometimes unkind.

Best off without people like her around you. Bullet dodged.

You've found out very early on what type of person this woman is OP. Consider it a lucky escape.

Have some cut off phrases to use if she decides to be a knob in the community and you have to defend yourself though. People who are utter cocks to your face can be worse behind your back.

Shes no loss to you as a friend .She only wanted to be nosey and find out all about your background. .
Next time dont let yourself be caught in this trap. You dont have to tell everyone the truth. You could say you got the lot from a catalogue or took out a loan. I expect thats what she wanted to hear and then she could empathise with you. But no. Youve got a houseful of new furniture that you dont owe anything for.She probably cant relate to that so has come down hard on you to protect herself .
Enjoy your new house and the peace it brings to your life.You arent a scrounger but you dont owe this woman any explanations.

What kind of person even thinks to ask someone how they’re paying for their furniture?! She’s an arse, don’t give her another thought.

Ignore this horrible women. You got away from an abusive ex, and I’m sure you walked away with hardly anything. Please enjoy what you’ve got and I’m sure you’ll make better friend than her.

Bear in mind: this person asked you about your personal finances and then judged you on the answer.

She sounds horrid. Don’t judge yourself based on her opinion.

Do judge people who ask you personal questions though. Next time, simply say
“Why do you ask?” and let a silence fall.

This woman was not a friend, she was nosy and nasty.

You're better off with someone like that having no part in your life.

You needed a hand up, were given one and as you said you'll try to pay it back in the future.

I imagine the vouchers were provided through charitable donations and not her 'hard earned money' via tax.

I've been at the bottom, destitute and with very little. I donate monthly to charity now, I give away stuff for free and I'm sure you'll do the same.

Good luck in finding nicer people to be friends with and don't give her twattery another thought

You are no scrounger and she is no friend!
Best of luck for the future xx

I agree with PP, you are absolutely NOT a scrounger! She sounds completely foul and you're better off having nothing to do with her. You're very brave starting over and you'll soon meet lovely supportive people who will recognise that

I didn't tell her for the sake of it, just because she asked. It wasn't something shameful to me, and I didn't specify amounts or places just said "I got some vouchers from social services and women's aid" that's all, I don't see that as personal information. Maybe I should've lied, I don't see it as anything to be proud of but not something to keep secret either iykwim

Sad that there are people like this out there.

Well done OP on your new start, hope it works out.

“ I'm really glad that the vouchers exist and that they helped you. I'd gladly pay more taxes to fund more schemes like that. “

This 👆🏻