To think I'm not a scrounger for getting "free" furniture

[GuessImAscroungerthen]

I have 2 young kids have had to completely move area while escaping from abusive ex. Left everything behind and was homeless for weeks before (v luckily I know) being offered a small council house which I'm extremely grateful for.

I'd already been working with women's aid and social services mainly for emotional support but women's aid also gave me some laundrette vouchers when I was homeless as I was struggling with the costs of doing washing at a laundrette (£4 to wash and dry a load adds up quick when you've got v little money). Anyway, women's aid offered me a Argos voucher when I told them about getting a home which I took and social services also gave me an Argos voucher, IKEA voucher and B+Q voucher. Added together I have a bit over a thousand pounds in vouchers which has gone a huge way towards getting everything we need, I bought the cheapest things I could and budgeted to the wire to get everything, but have still spent a few hundred on top... but I have almost everything now.
I am extremely greatful for this and plan on making a large donation to several charities to pay it forward, so to speak, when I can.
I've also recently been friendly with someone in my new area, we were chatting for a bit and she asked me how I was managing to furnish my house and if ex had given me money I said no I just had some vouchers given to me by women's aid and SS, she then acted a bit miffed with me so I went home, I tried to speak to her today and she said "I don't talk to scroungers" I was very upset and asked why she said that and apparently I'm a disgrace and have no shame allowing other people to pay for my furniture? I feel very guilty now, and embarrassed. I can't believe this has made her think so little of me.
Aibu to hope I'm not a scrounger? I feel awful!

Ignore her, I wouldn't be so quick telling any new friends your business. It's true only share information with a new friend if your comfortable with everyone else knowing it.

Best of luck in your new home.

Avoid the weirdo. Lesson learnt!

Good luck.

There is absolutely no need to not tell someone about this, anyone with an ounce of sense/compassion will understand. It is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of so why should you have to keep it quiet.

Op you should be proud of how far you have come and all you have achieved and continue to tel people (you never know, knowing help like this is there might help someone else) if you wish to.

yanbu - I agree with others, you have dodged a bullet here. At least you found out early on what a cow she is.
This, with bells on.
You've escaped a very shitty situation, I'm glad you were able to be helped out.

letterZ there is absolutely a need not to be telling people in a new area stuff, whether it is that you earn £100 an hour, or that you got vouchers for your new furniture.

A lot of people are total cunts, that is all there is to it.

Wow. What a rude woman
was she expecting you and your kids to drink out of jam jars and sit on wooden pallets !
No. This scheme was there when you needed help - no shame in
that

You have done fantastic op. It’s not easy to leave a violent man and start over
I agree with pp. she’s shown her true colours You dodged a bullet

So well done for starting over

From a Boundary perspective I would be very careful as you shared personal data with someone who is a complete and utter arse

How anyone would even begrudge you a starting foot up / well only a cunt with no empathy

Choose your friends with care and watch out

I also did this in my neighbourhood and no trauma - it happens sadly

Nice. I was given fuck all when in your situation not bitter much

What a lucky escape from getting yourself enmeshed with another abusive person. Vile woman.

I tried to speak to her today and she said "I don't talk to scroungers"

She's a stark staring loon. Clearly you hit on a topic which triggered the crazy, fortunately before you'd become too familiar with her. You had a lucky escape.

What the actual fuck? Your new 'friend' is an arsehole.

Don't feel guilty. You've removed yourself from a shit situation, kept your children safe and improved all your lives in one swoop. You should feel proud, not ashamed.

I have a regular donation set up to women’s aid and this is exactly how I want them to spend it! I think you’re amazing for getting your kids free of a bad situation. Really brave. If you had shared this information with me I’d voiced my admiration for you and probably bought you s nice moving in gift. You have nothing to be ashamed of at all. The shame is your ex’s and his alone. I hope you find worthwhile friends to share your new life with!

Well done to you for turning things around for yourself and your kids. It can't have been easy.

I would just let it and her go she has no room to judge having never been in your position. The vouchers are there so you don't have to worry about one more thing when in a dire situation. I would also add that I am very pleased you talked about it as I have a very good friend in precisely this situation at the moment and she is worried sick about making it out and having a) no where to live and b) nothing to put in it. Long term she will be much better off both financially and in terms of situation but getting out of a completely financially controlling relationship which has turned emotionally abusive for both her and her daughter short term she will have nothing at all, in fact less than nothing as she has solicitors bills that she has no way out of. I will be telling her this when I walk the dog with her later - i.e. get her out of the house for a bit in a way that is acceptable to "him"

You are not a scrounger,you are very brave & you have put your children first.This woman sounds an absolute bitch & you are better off staying well clear of her.
I wish you & your children the best of happiness in your new homexx

I'm sorry you faced such horrid comments from a horrid person. Huge well done for everything you've done, you must be a very brave person. Chin up, be very proud of yourself xx

As someone who has left everything behind I understand how it feels to be able to build a home for your dc.

I managed to findsome things via free cycle and some bargains via eBay. I also had some donations from people at work and my mum. You have nothing to feel ashamed or embarrassed about.

People don't really understand what it's like to leave everything.

Would she rather your kids sleep on the floor and have no hot meals unless they came out of a microwave? She's a cunt, and you're better off without friends like her. Lucky escape that she showed her true colours fast.

Well done for starting over, hold your head up high and two fingers up at shallow shits like her.

She sounds like a right chav, I mean who reacts like that? She is a total idiot and no, you're not a scrounger!

I must be a total scrounger then. When I fled my abusive ex I furnished my flat almost entirely off Freecycle, and my JobCentre coach organised a new stove for me. Because I had nothing - fuck all.

You're not a scrounger OP, you're making the best of a bad situation and accepting the help offered to you.

That ignorant 'friend' has no clue, and I wouldn't waste time worrying about her.

GrannyGrissle
Did you have SS etc involved? Maybe it varies by area.
Very sorry anyway everything would've been so so much harder without this help and I admire you for pulling it off.
Thank you for the kind words, I won't be speaking to her ever again...

This is why people donate to Women’s Aid - because we want women to be able to leave abusive partners and be given a little bit of a hand in setting up.

I hope you’re proud of yourself, and I wish you the best. You’ve nothing to be ashamed of and aren’t scrounging. Some people are rubbish. You don’t need them.

Hold your head up high OP! You are not a scrounger at all!! Change your username as well!!

Onwards and upwards for you xx

You are the very person I want to be helped in such a situation. You're so brave to start again but why should that mean you have nothing. Ignore the jealous hag.

Enjoy your house and your freedom