To think that "wetting the baby's head" is bollocks.

[Fuckballoons]

DH was informed recently that he'd be "wetting the baby's head" with his family and friends the weekend after our baby is born. DH informed them that he had no intention of doing any such thing, and you'd have thought he'd shit on the carpet. Horror. Comments about me "not letting him". DH hasn't been drunk in years and I can count the number of times he's been in a pub in the last two years on one hand. He's not a fan of that kind of socialising and can't be bothered.

I will be having a csection. We also have two large dogs and lots of stairs in our house. We intend on cosleeping. They're totally expecting DH to go out on a bender, just days after I have abdominal surgery, leaving me alone with a newborn, having to get up to let dogs in and out etc. I mean I'm not so precious that I couldn't do it l, but why should I have to? On what planet is this seen as normal or OK?

I really think it's old fashioned, sexist nonsense. A bunch of blokes going out to celebrate a baby by getting pissed, while the actual baby and its exhausted, bleeding mother are left at home to get on with it?

DH totally agrees with me. I said an afternoon pint would be one thing, but we both know that won't be enough for the in laws. They don't drink a lot regularly, but any sort of event seems to be a green light for getting pissed. Maybe OK at weddings but surely not in the first days of having a newborn?

I also feel resentful that even though DH has no interest and has never been a big drinker, for some reason I'm being cast in the role of boring old spoilsport!

People really do treat you differently and have weird expectations once you start to have kids, don't they?

What, is it just your house then Aaron?

If not then you can't not 'allow' him in for going on a bender. But yeah, a bender in that circumstance is a dick move. What confuses me is all these spouses that don't trust the men to have one or two and assume they'll get absolutely wankered. Are they all teenagers that bow to peer pressure and automatically down shots put in front of them?

My hubby wet our daughters head by having a few friends over when I was still in gl hospital recovering from my section, could your DP compromise and do this?

Here it’s geberally when the father is sent home from the hospital still buzzing with adrenaline and wonder and doesn’t want to go to bed early on his own. His best mates will meet him in the pub to celebrate but also process the whole crazy thing.
Mothers get together with their antenatal group for daytime tea and cake for the same reason

This. I've got four children, DH delivered the last one. This is a man who hates an kind of blood or gore, he was fantastic and supportive at all the births but I know he found it stressful and emotional.
He went for a drink and a chat with his mates after each baby while I was in the hospital. It didn't affect me or the babies in the slightest but it did help DH.

Nobody on here has said going on a bender is an ok thing to do.

Many of us have said one can 'wet the baby's head' without it being a bender, and often before the mum is out of hospital.

If your DH doesn't want to then fine, but to be honest you sound a bit controlling OP. I suspect if he did want to that he wouldn't be 'allowed' to anyway.