AIBU for hating the Pampas advert thanking midwives.

[ToadsforJustice]

I didn't have a positive experience with any of the MW I had the misfortune of seeing whilst having my DC.

I find the advert really triggering. I don't think I would thank anyone for the misery and pain they caused me.

Wow anxious. I didn't hurl anything at you. It's a debate. I'm taking a stance. My stance hasn't been created as a reaction to you personally.
Also, I'm not a midwife.
There is an assumption that anyone defending midwives is one.

Ye gods, chewedup You're really scraping the barrel now.

Do I have to specifically engage with the minutiae of every post? Or can I just take a stance on the main issue, like everyone else?

And I have not called any individual people misogynists.

I'm describing the culture that underpins the system.

Why so defensive? You're not personally responsible for the centuries of female oppression are you?!

Are you going to answer my question about whether you acknowledge that some people on here are exaggerating or lying?

Don't "wow" me mila.

You insisted I defend other people's comments. I pointed out how absurd that was. Now you're annoyed.

I can't acknowledge that anyone's lying, can I chewedup? Because I don't know.

I am inclined to believe the vast majority. Why on earth would they lie?

Anxious, you aren’t making any decent points, you are back peddling and being facetious instead of engaging in the debate

Why would three medical proffesionals rape a women who dared question an inappropriate swab - no idea

Why would someone lie about it? - no idea

Which seems more likely to be occurring?

Chewedupcucumber

I do actually. I'm a hcp and see some equally shit nurses. As I do within my own profession tbh.

However, the point is. Over a course of 4 pregnancies. One being ectopic, I met maybe 12 midwives ( possibly more)
And only 2 were lovely. One was community and one on a ward who helped with breastfeeding on the ward.
That's not good enough.

I'm overworked, underpaid, been physically assaulted by patients/relatives and I'm verbally abused regularly. I don't go around treating my patients like shit due to the above.

"Are you going to answer my question about whether you acknowledge that some people on here are exaggerating or lying?"

In your opinion. But how would she know if someone else is lying on here or not?

Everything I have described happened to me as I've described it, I have no reason to think anybody else is lying either.

There's been a frankly horrific story in the news very recently about a gynaecologist in Dundee that I wouldn't recommend anybody google if they are unaware of it. It is horrendous. That story sounds like it can't possibly be true, yet sadly it is.

And as a sidenote chewedup. My profession is extremely autonomous and female majority. We don't get 'picked on' Because of it.

In fact some might say we are the forgotten branch of hcp

I guess it feels like the benefit of the doubt is being distributed incorrectly.

Some midwives will be horrible and have delivered poor care. To say they ALL do is unfair.
Some of the stories on here will not be an accurate representation of events. To say they ALL are is unfair.

Earlier in the thread Anxious asked me who I was to question a story. Well, that works both ways, who is anyone to question the motivation of a midwife or healthcare professional?

It’s not fair to assume that all the stories on here are the lords gospel truth and anyone questioning them is evil, but then call into question the inner workings of HCPs mind and motivations with impunity.

chewedup

What points have you made? That I should call out each and every poster who says something off? That midwives are beyond reproach? What?

My points are clear.

A shocking number of women have horrifying birth experiences.

These are downplayed due to our deeply misogynistic culture. It's hard to change that culture, even with women at the forefront of midwifery.

That's not remotely controversial.

I didn't slag anyone off. I didn't call anyone a liar.

Yes, I've been facetious to you. But that's because you're being obtuse.

Menarefrommars - ooooh what is it?!

And no one is saying ALL midwives deliver poor care. You're all over the place.

@Devon123 I think you'll find it was the appalling lack of any sort of understanding or compassion for the 'patient' in Balthazaar's posts.

It's the utter lack of acceptance that the 'patient' has any sort of a point; the dismissal of their thoughts and feelings on their own personal experience which are treated as being invalid........ and they just need counselling to see that for themselves.

It is actually possible for HCPs to deal with the difficult circumstances listed by Balthazaar which are apparently "a massive pain in the arse doing [those] sorts of procedures" with kindness, concern and good humour and to behave with understanding and respect when 'patients' have a bad experience (though you'd never know it from Bathazaar's posts....)

You insisted I defend other people's comments.
I said that it was an oxymoron to claim to be a feminist and at the same time call other women who happen to be midwives bitches.

I pointed out how absurd that was
You said you could only comment on your own words (fair enough, but I didn't blame you for anything including what other women say) and said I'd hurled stuff at you-I hadn't

and now you're annoyed
I'm really not, it's a social forum discussion, I'm quite chilled

It is hypocrisy to claim to be a feminist and use the word bitch.
That doesn't mean you used the word bitch.
HTH

If anyone can, with a straight face, say natal care in the UK is fine and dandy, and dismiss the hundreds of horror stories that are freely available - well, enjoy your fantasy world.

Night all.

Chewedup I'm a sonographer and before that I mainly worked as a radiographer (and sometimes still do)

Flatearthersphere Mon 11-Jun-18 22:15:56
Thank you for not making us endure you as a patient cheesey.

Yes, that's about the level of professionalism and dignity I've experienced of your "profession". There were nine involved in the "care" of my first child and two were struck off, the others reprimanded. You sound just like them, smug and rude and dismissive.

That describes my experience of mws too cheesey.

In which case then what can be done with this anger which isn't personally attacking but which instigates change?
What are you arguing for-midwives to be shown as being smug rude and dismissive or for better funding and conditions or both?
It just seems like there is a lot of fury on this thread, which is doing nothing where it is. Why not use it to push for an outcome? What is it, pragmatically, you would like to be the outcome specifically? (Not just for midwives not to be smug etc)

midwives are dealing with women who are at there most vulnerable when in labour.
They should be treating every woman with respect and helping them at a time when they are most afraid of the pain or how her baby is and not treating them like an inconvenience.
Unfortunately midwives are overworked and are probably underpaid but its not the fault of the woman in labour and if the midwives cant be professional and do their job without showing some sort of compassion they are in the wrong job.

Better training and monitoring for midwives would be a start. I would have liked to have given feedback on my midwives (I'm a lecturer, my students do this all the time).
I also would have liked some consequences for the times I was not treated competently. Doctors just rolled their eyes, whereas what should be done is the mw concerned be called up for retraining.