Okay, so I actually joined this group just to post this as I wanted some advice off people who aren't emotionally attached to either myself or my partner. We've been together 4 years this year and are really happy - we get married next April and we are expecting our first baby this December. There's one thing which constantly causes arguments in our relationship: his mum.
I moved to where he was from (60 miles away from my home town and family/friends) as he was worried about his mum being alone. We rented an apartment for a year just under a mile away from her house. She is single - split up from her husband (and partner's dad) for over 25 years now and hasn't been with anyone else since. She has no friends and no social life. My partner moving out would hit her hard which I knew. I invited her round every week for Sunday dinner and she would regularly pop in unannounced - I was fine with this as thought it would stop after a few months. It didn't. We then got a dog a few months later and she asked if she could walk them when she finished work. We gave her a key to our apartment so she could. What a mistake that was! She then used to just let herself in whenever she fancied... even coming in one Saturday afternoon when my partner and I were in bed! There was no apology whatsoever.
After a year we decided to buy a house, again, Just round the corner from her so she wasn't alone. She was given keys to the new house so she could continue seeing the dogs. However, a couple of weeks in, I realised things in my bedroom were being moved. I asked her outright if she goes into our bedroom and she said she does - she also says she goes into the second bedroom to clear the clothes dryer and puts my partners clothes away in OUR wardrobe! I asked her not to go into our bedroom and certainly not into our wardrobe and I got back about how ungrateful I am. My partner stayed quiet and said that his mam was just trying to p. It got to a point where if I was off work, she'd just walk in and sit herself down. Something I would never do to her. When we announced our wedding, her response was "I'm certainly not looking forward to it and I won't be going". She has refused to come to our wedding - she has stuck by this decision for almost 2 years and will not change her mind. I am furious as she has broken my partners heart. She refuses to come to any social event, even if it's with her family... She doesn't bother with anyone but thinks it's acceptable to barge into our home whenever she feels like it. I am currently pregnant with our first baby and her first grandchild and she's not at all bothered. She never asks how I am or how we are doing... She just doesn't care. My partner had a big argument with her recently and essentially told her everything that she has done and how it has affected him. He also said how embarrassing it is that she makes no effort with me. Her response "She doesn't like me because she doesn't get her own way with me". I am so angry!! What the hell does that even mean?! She has keys to my house and has been round my house for dinner most weeks. She's been invited every week but she picks and chooses when she can be bothered!
I despise her and wouldn't miss her if I never saw her again. I've never met a woman who I hate as much as her and it upsets me more that she's in my life for good and less than a mile from my house! I don't want to make things awkward for my partner but I don't want to be anywhere near her right now. What can I do? Has anyone experienced anything similar?
Aaaargh!