Help!!!! Moving house today and DH is sick

[honeybeeq]

Help! DH has said he feels too unwell to drive to the new house. He does look shite. But what do I do?? It's a 2 hour drive, hes been asleep since 8pm last night and he's still in bed. The moving people are coming at 10.30 and the bed hasn't been taken down, as he's in it still.

Please help me work out a plan of action. I think I might have to leave one car here and come back for it tomorrow?

senioritabonita Sat 09-Jun-18 09:14:09
A cold???? I had pneumonia when I moved but still got on with it.

Lucky you. When I had pneumonia I was hospitalised as so ill. I couldn't have just 'got on with it! I tried the first couple of days but I couldn't even manage to get from the sofa to the kitchen to get a drink without having to it down on the floor to recover from the dozen steps I'd taken.

The man is being sick and has what the OP thought were heavy cold like symptoms. We don't know what the DH has got. But, as the OP says he is normally fine when a bit ill, and that this is very unusual behaviour for him, I think its clear the man really is ill this time.

You can't always just get on with it. Sometimes illness really does make you unable to do so.

Its simply unfortunate with the timing.

Hopefully his parents will arrive soon and be of use.

It's threads like this that make me really dislike MN. There's such vitriol against men sometimes, and the 'man up' attitude is really horrible to see. If women treat men like that in real life, they need to be stopping to think about the issues surrounding male mental health and the barriers to them seeking help.

Plantlover
He's not usually like this but you've packed the whole house on your own?

If you read up a bit OP mentions he's been working loads of hours and has probably 'overworked himself again', so I would assume he's been working, rather than playing golf and PS4

I packed our house when my DH was working. I think a lot of people end up doing quite a lot of that stuff alone to allow it around work/kids etc

I packed up 95% of our last few moves as DH was at work, not that unusual surely? He certainly wasn't slacking off.

Hrs just been sick very loudly. And has rung his parents to come and help us move hmm all he needs to do is drive the car and take the bed apart even the OP here was suggesting he's pulling a fast one! Its only later she realised that some people thought it was harsh that she changed her tune!
My vitriol has nothing to do with it being a man, its about a grown adult needing to get up and make a contribution! I've no doubt he feels awful, but tough tits. We have all been there, he can sleep once he gets to th other end. If he can't drive fine but he needs to contribute something, seeing as OP said she did all of the packing too.

Good luck, OP. My DH was ill the last time we moved house - he felt awful (physically, obviously, but also because he knew everything was falling on me), I felt awful because I had to do everything and was worried about him and the removal men felt awful because they had to tip him off the sofa. Bad feeling all round and the only time removal men have ever made me a cup of tea instead of the other way round.

Just get yourselves sorted the best you can. Keep an eye on him. It’s hard not to feel cross, even if you also feel sorry for him, but it will be ok. Main thing is you move and he recovers. Do what you need to do around him, and keep a bag of sweets to hand - you need the sugar to keep going.

I am really enjoying the competitive martyrdom here.

‘Well, when my leg FELL OFF I still managed to skydive whilst cooking Christmas dinner for 18 because you JUST GET ON WITH IT.’ Etc. Etc.

Wow, there are a lot of unsympathetic, dismissive people on this thread!

If your DH would normally soldier on with minor illness as you have said, the fact that he’s said his too ill to drive and can’t cope with doing the packing (moving house is something you WOULD make a big effort for if you could - an important and unchangeable date), suggests to me that he could be properly unwell.
Actual flu or acute infection- maybe a good idea to keep a close eye of him over the next few days, for example, high (or low) body, cold hands and feet, high pulse rate (maybe read up on the signs of SEPIS), and seek medical advice if you are concerned.

Poor bloke. If it's what I went down with, then he's got my sympathy. I was too breathless to talk, coughing uncontrollably until I vomited and ended up in A+E with pneumonia.
I hope that all goes well op 💐

The last two times I moved I did not have a second to go on mumsnet all day.

It does sound like your DH is really not well to me. If he's generally not the 'man flu' type, to say he's really ill on the day you move house sounds most unlike him. Also vomiting isn't normal with a cold. Has he checked his temperature? Any other symptoms?

Fuck me. Poor bloke.
'Tell him to man up' how is that an acceptable thing to say?

If this was the other way around and the OP was a guy he would be being torn apart for suggesting his partner should be able to help if they are that ill. But no. Cos it's a guy he must be faking.

Double standards on MN are more alive than ever.

And while I'm at it, OP you can't be that busy given you're on MN. And yes, I have moved house - 8 times.

Oh gosh, poor you! I do hope he recovers quickly. He probably is best kept out of the way, as a weak person being sick in the middle of a move is actually just a hindrance; trying to help when you have the ill brain fog - well, just no.

Glad you're getting help from his parents, and good luckin your new home! 🥂 Hope he's well enough soon to join you in a glass of bubbly to celebrate.

Bad timing! My dh had really bad toothache when we moved but thankfully ok to drive etc although think he went to the dentist morning of the move (thankfully going a mile down the road). If your dh is being sick then he’ll just have to go somewhere to be ill and collect car later on. Tbh the movers do the lifting and shifting - it’s the unpacking which is the faff, but do the essentials and wait til he recovers. My dh has his wisdom
Teeth out a few months after we moved btw!

If he's so very ill he really can't get out of bed on house-moving day, I'd call an ambulance and get him carted out of the way...

Good luck!

Moving house is one of those times you can't just give up and go to bed. I'd suggest he takes some strong painkillers with coffee, and goes to crash on a friend's sofa if he really can't help. Then you can drive or if he's unable to sit in the passenger seat, get a hotel and drive tomorrow. I once moved house with a chest infection that was making me sick, I'd just started antibiotics but felt terrible. We couldn't delay so I just sat in the car with a bucket on my lap while DH drove. We laugh about it now!

Sorry, only joking. I hope he feels better very soon and that you manage to get something sorted. Good luck!

Is it some posters default to jump to the conclusion that men are lying toads that are trying to weasel out of their responsibilities?!

The guy is ill! The timing sucks but seeing how some posters would treat their partners who they are supposed to love is really sad.

rhiannon Really? You would waste emergency services time for this?

Oh and it was a 4 hour drive! We hadn't been married long so I was mortified being sick in a bucket in the car! When we got to the new house he put a mattress down for me and I slept on that.

Tbf the op did say he had a cold.

A cold????
I had pneumonia when I moved but still got on with it.

Phaaaaa! Pneumonia?? A doddle. I had both arms amputated and still manage to shift the 3 piece suite onto the removal van with my teeth.

Any advances on that, anyone?

He only needs to drive?

Personally I'd rather that if he's feeling too unwell to be out of bed, and throwing up, that he didn't attempt to use the roads. He sounds in no fit state to drive and nothing you've said suggests he's likely to be faking it.

Hope the move went well OP?