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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Help!!!! Moving house today and DH is sick

124 replies

honeybeeq · 09/06/2018 08:28

Help! DH has said he feels too unwell to drive to the new house. He does look shite. But what do I do?? It's a 2 hour drive, hes been asleep since 8pm last night and he's still in bed. The moving people are coming at 10.30 and the bed hasn't been taken down, as he's in it still.

Please help me work out a plan of action. I think I might have to leave one car here and come back for it tomorrow?

OP posts:
WalkingOnAFlashlightBeam · 09/06/2018 09:02

Obviously it’s crap being unwell but there are times you just have to keep going regardless and this is one of them. He needs to pull himself together and collapse at the other end.

And yet sometimes as humans we do get ill at inopportune times, and can’t always ‘just get on with it’. Do you really believe that no matter what’s wrong with you or how you feel you can always just pull yourself together and carry on?

ChasedByBees · 09/06/2018 09:03

If he’s being sick it doesn’t sound like a cold. He may actually be too ill to help.

Get him into the car with his duvet and you’ll have to sort things.

Can you drive? If not, you’ll have to leave the car behind. You could get him to a local hotel in a taxi or to his parents and you go to the new place to meet the removers. You may need to go by train or beg a lift.

It sucks, but I’m assuming here he really is too unwell to move.

ShowOfHands · 09/06/2018 09:03

Walking, this is AIBU. Your common sense and compassion isn't wanted here. Unless you are prepared to screech LTB at the OP, you don't belong here.

MumofBoysx2 · 09/06/2018 09:04

Get everything out of the bedroom except him, his bed and a bag of clothes/washbag etc. and put it all in another room, so that when the movers come they don't disturb him. He can get up when they're ready to actually leave and get in the car, you can drive him to the new house, bed being last thing in can be first thing out, assemble it so he can go back to bed then go back for the car next day or whenever he feel better. Such rotten timing! Good luck!

Lottapianos · 09/06/2018 09:04

'Christ, people are cunts on here at times!'

Totally agree. Men are not allowed to be ill on MN apparently. Sod off with your 'man flu' Hmm

OP, move him to the couch with a duvet. It sounds like he's in no fit state at all to drive so leave his car behind. It's totally shit timing but good luck!

WalkingOnAFlashlightBeam · 09/06/2018 09:04

It’s funny how many people are dictating ‘paracetamol and he just needs to get on with it’. If a man posted here and his wife was sick and she was herself saying she couldn’t do it, how many people would stand for encouraging him to try override her own assessment of her own health, forcing her to ‘just get on with it’? This is a really weird double standard going on here.

WalkingOnAFlashlightBeam · 09/06/2018 09:05

Haha thanks Show and lotta.

I swear people seem to be taking a bit of glee from vicariously chastising a random man for being ill and trying to force a sick person into acting beyond their own stated capacity. Maybe projecting issues from their own lazy partners or something.

Rachie1973 · 09/06/2018 09:07

If his parents are coming, could you get his Mum to take him back to her house for now, so he can rest there out of your way?

I was inclined to say 'man up' at a cold, but sickness as well.... sounds fluey to be honest and a bloke in the way is probably more stress you don't need.

MsHomeSlice · 09/06/2018 09:08

I'd be very hmmm about the vomiting starting as he has been told to man the fuck up.

Leave him in the bathroom with a change of clothes, cleaning products and some immodium if you are sure he is not faking it!

You are too busy to be Florence Nightingale and tell his mother that too...it's all hands to the pumps getting everything to the new house and THEN he can be relocated, sick bucket and all, preferably in his parent's car to the new house to continue any malingering illness.

AjasLipstick · 09/06/2018 09:08

My friend's DH did something like this and she was very annoyed. Turned out he had Sepsis. He nearly died.

Just be careful.

Original poster
honeybeeq · 09/06/2018 09:08

He really is unwell. He's not one to stay in bed ever, his parents will be coming to help which will be a relief, I'll take the dog to get the keys and sort out the bed when I get back. Even when hungover he's up and goes for a 15k run to 'clear his head'

OP posts:
Lottapianos · 09/06/2018 09:09

'I'd be very hmmm about the vomiting starting as he has been told to man the fuck up.'

What a pathetic thing to say

flumpybear · 09/06/2018 09:11

Vomiting will likely be from excessive phlegm 🤢 if it is just a cold - does he have a fever?

Like others I'd say dose up on paracetamol and ibuprofen and crack on - unless it's Ebola then he can move to the sofa Wink

liquidrevolution · 09/06/2018 09:12

Can you not just leave him there forever

MumofBoysx2 · 09/06/2018 09:12

Some pretty nasty comments on here, poor guy - I bet he would rather not be ill! If my husband were like that (and he has been) I would look after him and he would do the same for me. It's called caring!

WalkingOnAFlashlightBeam · 09/06/2018 09:12

I'd be very hmmm about the vomiting starting as he has been told to man the fuck up.

You are too busy to be Florence Nightingale and tell his mother that too...

I feel immense pity for anyone who has the misfortune of being in a relationship with you, MsHomeSlice. Vile.

nogreenfingers · 09/06/2018 09:12

Poor guy. What crappy timing but nothing you can do. Hope he feels better soon and the move goes ok.

WalkingOnAFlashlightBeam · 09/06/2018 09:14

It’s a shame your thread about logistics of moving has turned into a bunch of posters slagging off your husband and assuming he’s faking his illness based on literally no evidence.

I missed why you can’t make the drive you want your husband to do?

senioritabonita · 09/06/2018 09:14

A cold????
I had pneumonia when I moved but still got on with it. The movers were extremely kind and concerned and I'll never forget the sight of 2 young men putting my duvet cover on my bed and instructing me to get in!

givemesteel · 09/06/2018 09:14

If his parents are coming and one of them can drive then ring up your insurance company to get either mil or pil insured on the second car just fir the day. Will cost about 30 quid but save the hassle of having to come back for the second car.

Get the removal men to dismantle the bed, leave him in the floor with duvet and pillows and leave him there to wait for his parents to drive him in the second car. You need to go ahead with the removal men to be there at the other end.

WalkingOnAFlashlightBeam · 09/06/2018 09:16

If he's being sick I would be much more sympathetic

Do people really feel this way about their partners? That it’s not enough for them to say they are feeling terrible and can’t do what they had planned to do, there needs to be a certain threshold of physical evidence met first? What about if it were your friend, relative, child?

BitOutOfPractice · 09/06/2018 09:16

A heavy cold? Ffs. That's pathetic

WalkingOnAFlashlightBeam · 09/06/2018 09:17

I had pneumonia when I moved but still got on with it.

Lucky you!

My mum had pneumonia but sadly it killed her. I wish I’d have known she could have just gotten on with it if she’d been made of stronger stuff like you, you legend!

mollyblack · 09/06/2018 09:18

Walkingonaflashlightbeam

My comment was typed before the sick comment was posted- op said he had a bad cold. I can’t remember the last time i got to stay in bed when i was ill- life with kids and big events like moving goes on. Op is not asking for much- she will
Obviously be doing waaay over 50% today but she needs him to stand up and get dressed. If he cant drive then thats a separate matter but he cant just opt out of the day.

bonnyshide · 09/06/2018 09:21

I think it's more than just a heavy cold, keep an eye on him, it sounds pretty bad.

Good luck with your move

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