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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Help!!!! Moving house today and DH is sick

124 replies

honeybeeq · 09/06/2018 08:28

Help! DH has said he feels too unwell to drive to the new house. He does look shite. But what do I do?? It's a 2 hour drive, hes been asleep since 8pm last night and he's still in bed. The moving people are coming at 10.30 and the bed hasn't been taken down, as he's in it still.

Please help me work out a plan of action. I think I might have to leave one car here and come back for it tomorrow?

OP posts:
Alabamazero · 09/06/2018 08:52

I have to agree that if it's just a cold (however bad he feels) he has to get on with it and, if not help, at least get up and not be in the way.

Just a thought but do you have any Travelodges or similar near you? Could he simply decamp to another bed for the day and let you get on with it? At least he wouldn't be under your feet all day.

mollyblack · 09/06/2018 08:52

Ffs. This is not your problem. Do all you need to do and let the removals men find him- hopefully that level
Of humiliation will get him moving.

honeybeeq · 09/06/2018 08:53

Hrs just been sick very loudly. And has rung his parents to come and help us move Hmm all he needs to do is drive the car and take the bed apart

OP posts:
Alabamazero · 09/06/2018 08:53

…. and when he's feeling better and YOU have moved yourselves into your lovely new home, make sure he wines and dines you and spoils you rotten!

Ellie56 · 09/06/2018 08:54

A cold?? Is that all?? Shock

He needs to get up and stop being such a twat. He can go back to bed when you get to the new house.

Hmm
FatCow2018 · 09/06/2018 08:54

Oh for fucks sake,I couldn't be arsed with this self indulgent crap at all.

stripesandsilver · 09/06/2018 08:55

Ffs what a pathetic creature. Tell him to man the fuck up and shift his ass.

adaline · 09/06/2018 08:55

Sorry but he doesn't have a choice! It's a cold - he's not throwing up every twenty minutes or delirious with a fever. Tell him to have a shower, take some lemsip and bloody we'll get on with it!

UrsulaPandress · 09/06/2018 08:55

Unless he has broken something tell him to put his big man pants on and get bloody moving.

Actually no, leave him there and move without him.

GetInMyNelly · 09/06/2018 08:56

Come on! The guy is being sick.

It's clear he hasn't got a bloody cold.

There is no way I'd muster any energy if I'm being sick.

Aeroflotgirl · 09/06/2018 08:56

Oh god, only a cold. Tell him to man the feck up, give him some ibuprofen and paracetamol and get mucking in. Bet if you were in the same position you woukd still be expected to function. Thought he had D&V ir something like that.

Childrenofthesun · 09/06/2018 08:57

If he's normally ok when unwell and he knows this is a big day for you but can't get out of bed then I would be thinking he might have flu. I think you will just have to leave the second car. If it is just a 24 hour virus you could both drive down tomorrow to get it, otherwise you could get public transport or leave it until next weekend? Very bad timing but can't be helped.

WalkingOnAFlashlightBeam · 09/06/2018 08:57

Christ, people are cunts on here at times!

None of you know OP’s husband, she’s said herself he’s usually good even when he’s ill, so perhaps we give him the benefit of the doubt that he actually is able to judge himself too unwell to do anything?

Is there anywhere in the house you can make a bit of a nest on the floor for him? Not ideal, but he might prefer that to nothing. So he can stay laying down.

Alternatively I think I’d be looking for a cheap last min hotel nearby if I could afford it, driving him there and leaving him to rest while I sorted everything else out.

But I’m in a relationship where I have empathy and compassion for my OH and I know he would only be out of action if he was genuinely really poorly, he doesn’t have form for taking the piss. Some colds can be really bad (I always crack on if I can and don’t take time off work if possible but I’ve had the odd one so bad it came with all sorts of issues that meant I couldn’t work), maybe it’s the beginning of flu.

I just can’t believe people are so quick to call her husband lazy or childish or whatever, have you never been so ill you just can’t face doing whatever you were supposed to be doing?

Alwayslumpyporridge · 09/06/2018 08:58

It sounds like more than a cold, timing sucks but it’s not his fault.

ShowOfHands · 09/06/2018 08:58

If he has never, ever done this before and is usually okay when ill, it does sound like he might have flu.

It's great that you have movers and possibly in-laws to help. If he's genuinely very unwell, it can't be helped.

Excited101 · 09/06/2018 08:59

RTFT!

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 09/06/2018 08:59

Hope the cavalry arrive soon. I’d send him to the bathroom with a duvet and keep on packing.

Gillian1980 · 09/06/2018 08:59

God, that would annoy me so much!

Obviously it’s crap being unwell but there are times you just have to keep going regardless and this is one of them. He needs to pull himself together and collapse at the other end.

Funny how mums seem able to keep going through pretty much all illnesses but dads are able to stop. Sorry, massive generalisation, but I see it so often!!

Rubberduckies · 09/06/2018 09:00

Can you not drive Op is that the main problem?

I'm sure removals men will help take down the bed when he's out of it!

Will his parents agree to drive you?

mountainfalls · 09/06/2018 09:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PiggeryPorcombe · 09/06/2018 09:00

I had to pack up our three bed house and supervise two preschoolers once - whilst vomiting - and one of the preschool dc was vomiting too. We came down with it the day before we moved. I literally had no choice so just had to get on with it. I survived.

WalkingOnAFlashlightBeam · 09/06/2018 09:01

Ffs. This is not your problem. Do all you need to do and let the removals men find him- hopefully that level
Of humiliation will get him moving.

Why the instant animosity? Why be so combative? Why is everyone apparently so quick to jump to ‘tell the fucker to get on with it he’s being pathetic’ when all we have to go on is that he’s telling OP he’s too sick to do anything, and he’s not normally like this?

Taking a bed apart is a pretty physical job and driving isn’t a great idea if he’s feeling that bad (and now being sick too).

This is one of those times in a relationship where you are gonna have to step up and do more than your 50% because the other person you love is incapacitated. That’s what being a partnership is about.

bobstersmum · 09/06/2018 09:01

Sick very loudly? In the bathroom with the door shut? Could he have faked that? If not it could be flu. Mil had flu this time last year and she had sickness along with it.

AltogetherAndrews · 09/06/2018 09:02

Last time I moved house, DH was blue lighted to hospital with pneumonia at 5am, removal men came at 8am. I coped but longest day of my life.
He needs to get out of the bed. If genuinely ill, set him up with a nest of cushions and a duvet in a corner out the way. If man flu, then a lemsip, and he gets on with it. Family help is your friend here, accept all you can get.

adaline · 09/06/2018 09:02

X-post.

If he's being sick I would be much more sympathetic. What's wrong with his parents coming to help if he's unwell? I wouldn't want to be lifting stuff, taking a bed apart and driving/sitting in a car for long if I was vomiting.

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