To have had enough with today's self obsessed culture

[cablewable]

I feel like all we see now is people taking pictures of themselves on every opportunity, speaking about how they feel, what they did, why they did it, where they are, what they achieved, where they went etc etc.
What ever happened to doing something because you wanted to or just enjoy it.
Who are we proving ourselves to? At we really ever doing anything for ourselves?
Does anyone ever just look at things and say -why?!?!!?!?!??!

For me- gym pics and hospital tags are the worst, along with selfies for no reason what so ever!!!

I think its more complex than that. In our patriarchal culture women are valued for their youth and looks end result being some young women keen to display this. Just not the same for men hence why its mostly women doing these displays. I think its quite sad tbh and wish our culture were different.

Oh yeah - I forgot the "I've never taken a selfie!"

As if it's an achievement.

DD went through this phase in Year 8 where everyone's trying to be "cooler" than the others and it was "special" to be transcendent of photos!

On a 12 yo it was silly but understandable. Grown wo/men who have seemingly never grown out of the "I'm so hipster" phase I find much more irritating.

I find people who take selfies all the time vain and irritating

What gets me even more than the selfie is the the actual effort and preparation that goes into getting the profile worthy selfie. I have teenage nieces who spend a fortune on expensive make up, ages getting it all on their faces and then another age getting the right angle for the selfie!

On what planet does never having taken a selfie making you a tedious hipster?! Bizarre. I have never taken one I don't think. Thrilled I am now a hipster

I haven't read the whole thread yet, and probably not good etiquette to post first read later BUT:

YANBU and it seems lots agree. I have been thinking about this a lot lately. I will say, I am very lonely. I feel there is so little human interaction, and whatever interaction I do have it is so shallow that I am not making any decent true friends. I think society is now based on the superficial, and no one knows anything about any one anymore.

Where I live we have something called 'Airspace gallery' where art is displayed for local artists. There was one recently that explored how social media was designed to connect people, but as a society we are so disconnected now.

I want to meet people where I can have a good natter and moan, and share life with. I don't care about what you had for lunch or the most recent drama that would have been avoided if we all spent a bit more time getting to know each other.

I forgot to add, online you either get all the good, or all the bad. There is nothing real any more. Life is never just one or the other, and I wish people would stop trying to pretend to be perfect.

But selfies are never au naturel, they are primped,filtered,posed and taken to show off.

I've never taken a selfie or posted one because I think they're false. It's not about being cool.

Don't think I've ever seen a selfie of anybody looking like shit and feeling like shit,proclaiming reality. If selfies really celebrated women you'd have huge numbers of realistic pictures but you don't.

I think teens are growing out of it. My 3 and their friends rarely if ever post selfies unless it's humorous, they also seem to scorn self absorbed feeds.Ive noticed less of the continual selfie/ bragging in my feeds too. Not surprising as it is immensely boring.

On what planet does never having taken a selfie making you a tedious hipster?! Bizarre. I have never taken one I don't think. Thrilled I am now a hipster

It's not the actual never having taken one. It's the fact that people say it as if it's somehow indicative of personality. I know plenty of people who don't post selfies. About a third of them have told me so at least twice!

This is almost always paired with statements about the good ol' days, how sad it is what society has become, etc. etc. It's all about proving how above it all you are. Add slut shaming, internalised misogyny and a bit about the patriarchy to say no, you're totally feminist and you've got your very own, transcendent of modern society and thinks they're better for it hipster queen.

Perhaps it riles me up so much because I used to have a best friend like this but it just makes me want to gag.

I enjoy having a FB account. It's mine to adjust and use as I want . I add people I like and who interest me . I hide or delete people who constantly post selfies or whom I am not interested in but don't want to offend.
Selfies don't bother me but are a bit pointless unless the background is interesting....like the person is at a beauty spot, museum, art gallery....etc.
What amuses me is couple or selfies of people at an event and no sign or glimpse of the said event , just their smiling faces . They could be at home to do that !!

I take selfies for two reasons

1. So I can actually have some pics of me and DD.(main reason)
2. When I dye my hair (especially in the summer holidays when I can do whatever I want to it).

I'm on FB,MN and WhatsApp. Some of the best friends I've made have been on online forums.

Completely agree, I will do a selfie a couple of times a year normally when I've changed my hair or something I like to have an up go date Facebook picture. Other than that really no.

Sorry Roses but your friends sound entirely reasonable and you just sound as if you've got a massive chip.

Sorry Roses but your friends sound entirely reasonable and you just sound as if you've got a massive chip.

Haha, nope.

The friend (singular) started receiving lots of rolling eyes when mentioned to my other friends. I thought this was very strange but as she didn't like them much either we began to hang out separately.

It started with the selfies thing. She's never taken a selfie before - she used to mention this at every event and outright refuse to join in group pictures, but only if the camera was in selfie mode. I thought this was odd but ignored it. I figured she was old-fashioned; she always made comments about the old days and said she'd like to live in the 1960's.

One of my biggest problems with her had always been internalised misogyny and slut shaming. She was lovely otherwise but good God, did she adore being "not like other girls." She used to just make comments about random girls in the vicinity which I'd ignore but this soon transcended into those cringe worthy memes and posts.

After that, I started noticing she began avoiding shops when they became "mainstream". She'd see an outfit she liked when we were out shopping but wouldn't buy because it was from a fairly mainstream shop chain. Then you would see her with very similar clothes from [insert less mainstream brand here] a week later. Yes, she'd actually go up and search different shops with similar clothing just because they were less popular instead of buying them where she saw them!

Refused to read books because they were too popular, or watch TV shows. Some of her comments started sliding to me and I realised just how draining her presence was and cut contact massively. Still follow her though; lots of pictures of so and so shop, often captioned with "I can't believe anyone would be so basic to buy..."

I realise not everyone is extreme as her but IME everyone that brags about not taking selfies is a toned down version.

@roses I get it. It's the virtue signalling that annoys me.

I am not at all bothered by people taking selfies. It's good to celebrate if you're happy with how you look. If you're seeking validation it's nice there are kind people happy to provide it. If someone posts too many and annoys you, unfollow.

My selfies are normally with a horse or a dog

Ooh also I like selfies where someone's makeup is amazing because I'm rubbish at makeup!

Why not try to see the good not the bad.

But I am guessing you see all this on social media?

I don’t see it on social media. I see it everywhere I go.
The other day I was sat outside a local restaurant in a fairly picturesque location. A woman came in looking as miserable as sin. Ordered. Took some selfies with the picturesque background all grins, smiles and pouting, then went back to looking miserable. She might have been perfectly happy but it struck me that she was putting on a front of ‘look at me having a great time’ while actually not having a great time.

Go to any tourist attraction and all you will see is people taking selfies in front of it. I remember when we used to take the piss out of people doing that.

Likening selfies to having your portrait painted is madness. A handful of people would have their portraits done once, perhaps twice in their lives.

That is nothing to do with taking selfies though. Hoards of people don't buy into the selfie culture and aren't like that.On my feed I get about 5 who continuously do it. None of the remainder are like your friend.

Roses I hope the "friend" is no longer your friend as you obviously cannot stand her!

I haven't knowingly taken a selfie not sure why I would ever mention this to anyone though.

Yy Simon. The luvin life posters who are actually not loving life. It's so sad people feel the need to do this. Why can't social media just be more honest?

YANBU. I'm on a FB fitness group and some people seem to overshare far too much. Even about what exercises (extra) they are doing that day.
I feel like I've achieved by just turning up at the scheduled classes lol!
The worst FB statuses are from richer friends.
I had one simpering about her 'present'. It was a £80K Range Rover FFS!
And then she moans about having to fork out £20 for new gym kit...

Oh yes. I know someone who is late 40s but she posts selfies like a 20/something - filtered up to the eyeballs. She doesn’t look like that irl believe me. She got so many ‘gawjus’ replies that I wanted to like.
I have just changed my profile pic on fb after being bored of the one that was there for 2 years!

Agree

I expect there's an awful lot of banality in all of these people's lives, same as there is in ours (those of us who don't post a lot), but they only show what they want us to see. They want to control their image and make it look like they have the "perfect life" when in reality, they've got a rash of massive plooks on their chin, they've spent the morning clearing up dog puke and their boyfriend is shagging the babysitter.

GoneAreTheDays "There was one recently that explored how social media was designed to connect people, but as a society we are so disconnected now."

I wouldn't know anyone local without social media as I commute for work

It's really helped form local community

Footnote - based on Simon's story....I wonder how many of these people are actually suffering quite deep depression, and are trying desperately to keep their heads above water? It might not just be about shallow lives and being self absorbed....