To get sick of hearing how much like DD looks like DH

[MysticMeggyMoo]

The comment really winds me up. It normally comes from people who didn’t know me as a child. If you actually look at photos of me at the same age you would be hard pushed to say who is who....
Anyway, it’s not really any wonder she looks like her father. It’s almost as though they are surprised.
I really want to reply that its such a relief she doesn’t look like the milkman’s!

I get that all the time with DS2, he is DPs double. I also get it about me and DD (also true). What I find very funny is when they say DS1 looks like DP (he’s his stepdad)

Surely people are just being nice? I get this all the time and yep, she does, so I smile and say yes, she’s his double! I like that people see it.

She probably looks a lot like both of you.

People say this all the time about my niece and BIL, it actually hurts him as they had to use a donor.

We've produced three mini dh's. Honestly, there's nothing of me in any of them looks-wise at all, I was just the vessel that grew dh's mini clones. All I hear is how much they're all like him.

Pointless being cross about it! 🤷🏻‍♀️ Yabu to let it wind you up so much, it's not like you can control if your dc look like you.

I really think it's a strange thing to get wound up about unless your husband's looks are grotesque.

I only say it to women i dont like

@butlerswharf no, I actually think he looks very attractive and manly 🤣 but I can see why you might think that.
I think it’s the stating the obvious that irritates me.

It’s just saying something to fill silence usually.

@wizzywig you may have a point (in some instances!) but may I ask what is behind that?

People always say my 2 dd look like my dh. I can't see it - they both look unique to me - but it doesn't upset me. I'm no oil painting so I never really wanted them to look like me!

It’s just conversation. Don’t you converse OP.

I think it's irritating if it comes from IL's, in a tone which suggests that you were nothing more than the incubator, but on the whole, I think people are just making conversation. After all, there's not much you can say about someone else's child - for many people they are just not that interesting.

It's just something people say. Like I hear "your DD is so tall!" over and over again. People aren't very original - they tend to pick up on one characteristic and mention it.

@IWannaSeeHowItEnds that is exactly it. I don’t find it irritating from friends but when ILs say it I feel like a mere vessel... and they have no idea what I looked like as a child!

I say things like that all the time! Mostly when babies look like their siblings. So, one sibling more than the other.

My ILs say that both our dcs look exactly like my dh...and my parents say they look exactly like me. I think there’s probably an element of unconsciously looking for similarities to make the kids part of the family and bond with them, almost like an evolutionary thing that they will care more for kids that look like they belong with the family, which may be why you get it said to families with adopted dcs or who have used donor sperm/egg or are blended. Don’t worry about it and try to see it as them trying to see something of themselves in your dcs and connect with them.

My first is a clone of her dad.

The second has popped out looking identical to the first. I am just an incubator for DP clones

Will be interesting to see if they have inherited personality traits or skills from me or if they are like him in other ways too.

I hear all the time how much DS looks like me - he's adopted! I even get it from the Social workers and health visitor who obviously know he's adopted. It's true (he really does look like me, and spookily is the spitting image of me at the same age) But for the most part it's a harmless observation. People say it but don't mean any harm. Your DD obviously looks a lot like her dad or people wouldn't mention it, but if she looks like how you did at the same age then chances are she will look a lot like you growing up and you'll hear plenty of it.

I got it from inlaws about ds. Constantly. And when you have just been bruised and battered through labour and they are sat there for hours on end, going on and on about ‘how is just like holding baby mr lemonsherbert again’ I felt they came across as very smug tbh.

When I was out with my gran when young people would say “ooh she looks just like her mum”, my dads family would say I looked like him. I look very little like my mum and I resemble my dads side far more! My daughter looks like more like me and my son looks more like his dad although he says he thinks he looks like me!

Another one here that gets it constantly from the ILs! It’s not just “oh DD looks so much like DH” it’s “wow, DD looks exactly like my auntie Dorothy’s great grandma’s cousin!” drives me up the wall, especially as DD looks the spitting image of me as a child, but hey ho

When my DD was a baby she looked very much like DH (when she had no hair!). Our SiL (his brother's wife) mentioned it ALL THE TIME (we don't get on). I took it as a dig, to be honest (even if it wasn't intended as such, but the jury is out on that for me!).

Anyway, DD's grown up a bit, grown her hair and is now more of a mini-me than she is DH's.

Sometimes it's conversation, sometimes it's more than that.

I feel your pain, whatever is the motivation for the people mentioning it to you, anyway.

My friends tell me all the time that dd looks so much like me. I think she's the spitting image of her df and his dsis, I can't see a single feature on her face that's like mine. I actually get quite funny about people saying she looks like me. To be honest, I'd have killed to have looked like her at 17, I think she's gorgeous, but I am biased of course.

My Dsis gets pissed when I say it. It does not mean for a second that her DD is a mini man in a dress. She just smiles and has eyes like her DF.

Is it misinterpreted as its a DD and DF. Or would others be peeved if same comments of a DS and DF.