To get sick of hearing how much like DD looks like DH

[MysticMeggyMoo]

The comment really winds me up. It normally comes from people who didn’t know me as a child. If you actually look at photos of me at the same age you would be hard pushed to say who is who....
Anyway, it’s not really any wonder she looks like her father. It’s almost as though they are surprised.
I really want to reply that its such a relief she doesn’t look like the milkman’s!

I got bored of the constant “he really is the spitting image of his father, he really belongs to this side of the family” comments by my FIL so I replied one day “I know, it was such a relief to cancel the Jeremy Kyle paternity test!”

He didn’t think it was funny oddly enough.

I get this from my in laws all the time. I had just been through a horrific labour and they were all going on like who he looked like in their family as if I was some sort of incubator who no longer served a purpose or had anything to do with the baby. Made me so angry. They still do it and he doesn’t even look that much like my dh. He looks exactly like I did as a baby but with my dh’s colouring

I kind of get where you are coming from but I had a little moment when I was first shown a picture of some ancestors of ours - a large family from 1870s - some of the girls looked like my sister- a couple like my aunt and the adult sons like my dad. It was amazing and there was no mistaking it!

What?! Why would it wind you up??

I’m so proud that my kids look their dad. My eldest son takes after me, way way more than my youngest but I never say anything because when DS gets likened to DH I can see the pride in his face and I love it.

Neither of my children look like their dad. At all. Not even exMIL can say they do. So instead she insists the children look like random people from her family tree, the spitting image. She’s equally insistent neither of my children look nothing like me. Except they do. Literally everyone says so I enjoy thinking the nasty old bat must hate that....

It really doesnt matter, when people meet a kid they have to say something. When my DD wss little she was the image of her Grandad, who really isn't a looker. I used to say that it showed I hadnt strayed too far from home.

It’s a bit unfair to expect people to know what you looked like as a child unless they knew you as a child. So what if to then she looks more like DH than you now she’s still as much your child. My DD has nothing of me in her which is a shame because DH is an ‘interesting’ looking man

It can be so annoying. My mil said ‘he doesn’t look like you he looks like me!’ She then started dyeing her brown hair red to match his......becoming a grandparent caused a funny 6 month period. It did settle down thank goodness!

My youngest it quite literally my dh double same red hair facial features everything. You could compare photos of ds and dh the same age and it’s scary how similar they look the only difference is ds has my blue eyes instead of dh brown eyes. My other two are both blonde blue eyes look like each other but nothing like me.

My two ds's are mini replicas of their dad .There was nothing of me in them except around the eyes.Now at 18 and 20 the eldest is very much like me and my side of the family and three of his male cousins.i find it fascinating!

• were mini replicas

I get this all the time too op, with both of ours. Ds is genuinely the spit of his dad - I see it, he sees it, everybody sees it. Not so much with dd though - she's exactly like me when I was her age. And in fact, sometimes when she looks at me with her big blue/ grey eyes I swear I see my (maternal) grandmother looking at me. It's happened a couple of times now. I adored my nan, she was an amazing woman, so I like to think she's taken something from my side.

people are just passing comment. dd1 and dd3 the image of dh when little. as they have grown they look a bit like my side.
middle ond spit of me/my side from birth and into adult hood. no historic photos sadly from my side so cant spot further back than me.

Take it all with a pinch of salt. People see what they want to see. DH was once told my daughter (his step daughter) has his eyes... his are pale blue, hers are very dark brown... the woman was most insistent.

My dgd is her fathers double my dgs is his mother's !

Could be worse - my mum is obsessed with telling me how much my DD looks like her

Things may change. DD1 used to look like me but her expressions were SIL all over again. Now she looks like SIL but has some of my facial expressions.

The comments I got about DD2 from people still smart. One mum at the school gate used to literally cry laughing how much DD2 and her Dad were alike, every bloody time she saw them together. But the worse was from a café owner when she was a tiny baby (we were regular customers) he remarked pointing to DD1 she's beautiful like her mother and she's (pointing at DD2) just like her dad, poor little sod. Stunned I said nothing but was

When DD1 was born she was the splitting image of DH, looking at pictures of them at the same age it’s hard to tell them apart. DD2 looked very similar. Neither looked like me but part of that is they all have the same hair and eye colour.

Both are now adults and still have the look of their Dad, it has even been remarked by random shop staff. However they have as many generic traits that are mine as his. DD2 looks like the splitting image of my mum when she got married.

What really annoys me is my MIL who has to constantly compare my DC and their cousins to members of her family it is like an obsession and as if neither my family heritage or even FIL count. Plus most of us have no idea who she is talking about and from the photos we have seen most of her family were of short working class northern stock with no similarities to my DH let alone the DC.

Dd’s birth was a bit traumatic towards the end- the midwife looked at her and said ‘ she’s beautiful, she looks just like Mr Nishky’ then started saying ‘ well you know what I mean’ - gave us all a laugh

I am amazed at the number of people on this thread who get wound up by it tbh. I think if you hate your in laws it is just something else to be offended by.

Stealth in-law bashing!

OP- it’s just conversation. Something people say about babies. And how can they possibly know she looks like you as a child? What are they suppose to say - “oh, little Daphne look so much like Fred. But only a bit, of course -about 50%. I wouldn’t dream of suggesting any more than 50%. Probably a bit less, actually, because obviously maternal genes are stronger than paternal ones.......,,”

My MIL attributes all my sons' skills to DH's side of the family. Interest in animals = uncle John (I was going to be vet until I was 14). Excellent navigational skills = Grandad Paul ( I can navigate an unknown town just by glancing at the map once). It's annoying!

YABU it's what people do it's meant as a compliment! All babies look like their birth parents it's how it works

Ds2 is incredibly like his dad, my late dh. Always has been, judging by photos mil has of dh when he was little.
Ds is now approaching the age dh was when we first met, and the likeness is uncanny - but if people comment it’s actually very comforting, and keeps dhs name alive in our conversations.

I think it's just chit chat. When dd was a baby my dh's family banged on and on about how she looked just like dh and never mentioned me. I have photos of me as a baby and we look like the same child. I tried to say so once but it fell on deaf ears so I just let them get on with it.

"Oh look, she has auntie Jane's exact toes"